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While trespassing in a closed off area of Bayside High School, Zack and Screech uncover a radio station, KKTY. The gang heads to The Max to plan out what each of their respective roles in the revived radio station will be. But when they get their order they find their burgers to be like 1/5 of the standard size. (Like if you order a quarter pounder and then someone brought you one single White Castle burger.)

Max explains that he’s had to make some cuts do to rising costs and everyone is extremely sympathetic, despite the fact that they’ve probably all paid 5 times too much for the amount of meat they’re getting. GUESS THERE’S NO STRESS WHEN YOU’RE USING MOMMY AND DADDY’S MONEY. But I digress.

Then they all talk about how no one has seen Max’s dog in a while and they wonder what could have happened to it, as they look suspiciously at their tiny burgers. Wait, SERIOUSLY, Saved by the Bell? A dog meat joke? This is TOO dark for your fare. I’m still having nightmares about that episode of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia and now you just had to go and stir up my PTSD.

The lone investigative journalist at the station (Jesse Spano, obviously) uncovers a hot story when she discovers that the Bayside School District is Max’s landlord. The district plans to turn The Max into a parking lot if Max doesn’t pay $10,000 in back rent by the end of the week. Woah, woah, woah. That place is ALWAYS full. I know. I’ve been there. How the heck did Max mismanage his finances so badly?

Also, this school district owns a restaurant and an oil field? WHAT IS UP WITH THIS TOWN??

Anyway, the kids report this news on the radio without getting Principal Belding’s approval first (thus violating the terms of their radio station agreement). Zack senses something behind the principal’s outrage about potentially losing his job because he let a bunch of kids trash talk the school board on the radio, so Jesse starts investigating Belding. Eventually, she finds something. And just in case you forgot that it was “okay” to make rape-y jokes on television in the early 90’s:

As it turns out, Belding got in trouble in high school for mooning the school board. Seems like he and Zack had a lot more in common than we thought! Belding, the original DJ of KKTY, protested the school board’s ban on long hair and jeans (hence the mooning), which lead to the station’s demise.

Hey, hey, hey slow down here. First of all, there are REAL things to protest other than not getting to wear jeans and saving some unsustainable business. I mean really, Belding? You went to high school in the 60’s and your biggest concern was that your school board didn’t want you to have long hair? Sounds like a selfish jackass to me. I guess he and Zack really are the same. So Belding agrees to help with the radiothon. (RADIOTHON! Now this post makes sense, right???)

On a side note, I dig this sweater that one of the extras is wearing at the radiothon. Can any Etsy friends hook me up with a similar look?

So pretty much the radiothon is just their regular radio show but in person and at The Max. I’d say that’s pretty weak in terms of a fundraiser. Lisa starts auctioning of gossip, Screech does a bad Al Bundy impersonation, and Slater pledge’s his life savings of $100.

Oh yeah, Slater’s at home instead of at the radiothon because he sucked at being on the radio. It’s a whole B-plot that I just didn’t go into.

When Zack loses his voices and everyone else falls asleep, Slater shows up and takes over the radiothon hosting. He makes a motivational speech (see below) and the phones start ringing off the hook.

Sounds like it’s time for a group high-five!