Don’t watch this. I know I said that I would review al of the episodes, but I can’t. I played it in the background while I did other things. Doing my dishes and catching up on data entry for work were far, far more interesting than paying full-attention to this show.

But there were a few bright spots and I’ll list them all below. You can just read this list and it will be like you actually watched the show because, outside of this list, nothing happened:

1. DJ became a Mexican Wrestling Champion
   
2. Stephanie gave Danny a sports coat that matched the couch’s upholstery because he is weirdly obsessed with the couch.
   
3. Stephanie can’t have kids. This was a weirdly dramatic moment in a show that is otherwise full of corny jokes. Jodie Sweetin and Candace Cameron Bure did a fine job with the scene, but it felt so out of place with the tone of the rest of the series.
   
4. DJ got a cute new boyfriend. He’s another veterinarian at her practice.
   
5. Harry Takayama guest starred and Stephanie wanted to date him, but then he turned out to be engaged.
   
6. Stephanie dated Hunter Pence from the SF Giants. But she was a jinx. He couldn’t get a hit until she broke up with him (under duress) as the crowd boo-ed her as she attempted to sing “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” during the 7th-inning stretch.
   
7. DJ made out with Steve while dating the cute new guy (which makes no sense because Steve is now a creep and cute new guy is cool). But then Steve was at the Giants game (the same one where the crowd boo-ed Stephanie) and saw DJ kiss the cute new guy on the kiss cam. He freaked out. Cute guy was similarly not pleased.
   
8. There is a cute moment with Steve, Cute Guy, DJ, Kimmy, and Stephanie comenting on a flash back of Steve and DJ at the prom. But it’s like they’re all imagining the flashback as Steve tells the story. I thought that was kinda cute. I love when storytelling mediums mix!
   
9. Steve and the cute new guy kiss. It’s really dumb and an accident but the studio audience loved it. Like there was some serious cheering over the laugh track.
   
10. Everyone does a perfectly choreographed Bollywood dance.
11. Steve and DJ dress up like their 90’s selves and pretend that they’re Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore in Ghost, except they’re making hamburger patties instead of pottery…it’s every bit as weird as it sounds.
    
12. Joey officiates Becky and Jesse’s vow renewal on inline skates, wearing a hockey jersey, and a holding a hockey stick.
    
13. Jesse hit Mr. Woodchuck over the head with a hockey stick.
    
14. DJ didn’t chose between Scott or cute new guy. And they both seemed okay with it.
    

I feel like there will probably not be a season two of Fuller House…but if there is and they FINALLY revive “Girl Talk,” I will cover it. Otherwise, I will most like steer clear.