Good Morning, Very Special Readers! I hope you’re not out braving the dangers of Black Friday. If you are, then godspeed and I hope you have protective eyewear. If not, then please stay home and use this handy online shopping guide instead:

For the Movie Buff
These sweet Pulp Fiction talking action figures. $49.99 at Think Geek.

For the Book Lover
Take your loved one back to the magic of the Scholastic Book Fair. Complete with pop-a-point pencil! $16.00 at sweetandlovely.

For the Star Wars Nerd
This R2-TEA2 teapot. Extra-points if your Star Wars fan is also an anglophile. $39.99 at Think Geek.

For the Ladies
These bestselling Golden Girls granny panties. $38-$52 from Bullets and Bees.

For the Quarter-Life Crisis Sufferer
With this educational game, you can help your loved one practice interviewing for jobs like “fortune cookie writer” and “child actor.” $25.00 at Uncommon Goods.

For the Artistic Type
This rainbow pencil set and unicorn holder are sure to wow even the most casual colored-pencil user. This would also be an on-point White Elephant/Yankee Swap gift. $14.99 at Perpetual Kid.
For the Gamer
This vintage Nintendo controller has a modern day use as well! It’s an analog clock! $89.99 from crimsonking.

For the 90’s Kid:
And I do mean kid. This coloring book comes complete with watercolor paint set! $10.83 from Amazon.