Full House is possibly the most wholesome show ever, which is why I am surprised that Joey, Danny, and Jesse allowed DJ to go to a frat party while she’s still in high school. I thought they would know better. But maybe they are so wholesome that they don’t. Kimmy gets drunk at the party and feels like she can fly. If getting drunk always had this affect, I would be an alcoholic. Well, probably not. But it does sound like a fun experience.DJ takes her home, presumably so that Kimmy does not get in trouble at her house. However, I never remember Kimmy having parents, so I doubt this concern is warranted. Apparently, Kimmy was so drunk at the party that the frat boys kicked them out. I went to a liberal arts college without Greek life, so I am not that familiar with how this stuff works, but I would guess that they kicked them out because Kimmy was annoying and not because she was too drunk.

[There’s a subplot about Michelle and her twin cousins learning about forgiveness but it’s really boring, so I’m not going to mention it here beyond this sentence. Uncle Jesse’s kids were soooo boring.]

It turns out that Kimmy does not remember the party at all like DJ does. Kimmy thinks she was super cool and DJ was lame, but it turns out that Kimmy was really just super drunk and obnoxious. It turns out that this frat party is full of upstanding students who do not want to have alcohol at their party. They kicked out the people who brought the beer that Kimmy drank because they were afraid of losing their charter. But it turns out that DJ is not mad at Kimmy for getting drunk, she is mad at her for trying to drive home afterwards. DJ had to fight her for her keys because Kimmy did not know she was drunk even though she could not stand up. (Is this a real thing or a very special episode thing? I’ve always known when I was drunk. Does that make me enlightened and self aware or does that make Kimmy an idiot?) The reason that DJ is so pissed is that her mom was killed by a drunk driver. I have to give this very special episode some credit because they basically never mention the girls’ mother on the show, and it’s really kind of nice how a young Candace Cameron-Bure handles the moment here. But it definitely drives the point home when the entire plot of the show essentially revolves around a death caused by driving under the influence–even if its depiction of frat parties is silly.

Very Special Lesson: Getting drunk at a college party will make everyone think you’re a jerk. You will embarrass yourself and everyone will have more integrity than you. They will send you home safely with your best friend whose dad is Bob Saget.