Golden Girls: Catch that Cheesecake! (A Very Special DIY)

During the summer, my office gets a bit slow on Friday’s. Sadly, those quiet times are almost gone with the Autumn wind, but I’d like to share with you what I did last Friday in my downtime.

A day or so earlier, I saw an Etsy store called Nerd Girl Wensi featured on a Buzzfeed list. I decided to checkout the store because I liked what I saw in the list, and that’s where I found these: 

 

I was like, OMG I need some of those Rose Nylund earrings! So I selected the character from the drop down tab, and then I noticed that I had to select a “type.” I figured this was like hook or stud, but then I found that it’s a whole gigantic list of things, including “game piece.” “Oh my”, I thought to myself, “what could you possibly do with a set of Golden Girls game pieces?” So I came up with this:

The Golden Girls: Catch that Cheesecake!

Dorothy, Sophia, Rose, and Blanche had a delicious cheesecake stashed in the fridge, but someone has stolen their late night snack! Now, they must find the culprit and determine the hiding spot. The road before them will be treacherous. Rose and Sophia will tell many stories. Will Dorothy become the victim of her own biting sarcasm? Will Blanche manage to stay on task or abandon the search for a sailor/doctor/random man at any of the search locations? The journey will be even more difficult because Rose cannot recall which cheesecake she purchased. Was it the classic, the pistachio, the banana cream, the double chocolate fudge, or the strawberry? It’s up to you to help guide them through the search for the ultimate cheesecake!

Culprits:

Stan–Dorothy’s ex-husband

The Ghost of Sal–Sophia’s deceased husband

The Sunshine Cadets–the Girl Scout-like troop that Rose runs

Dreyfuss-the stray dog that Rose found at the supermarket

Blanche–after not sleeping for days because she was writing the “Great Southern Novel”

Locations:

The Lanai (the sunporch)

The Rusty Anchor (Blanche’s favorite seedy bar)

Shady Pines (Sophia’s nursing home)

The set of Grab that Dough! (The game show where the girls won nothing but a lifetime supply of soup.)

The Golden Palace (that hotel Sophia, Rose, and Blanche eventually bought)

Cheesecake Type:
Classic
Pistachio
Banana Cream
Double Chocolate Fudge
Strawberry

This is clearly incredibly influenced by Clue. This inspiration is largely due to the fact that it’s the only board game I truly understand on a mechanically level. I also wanted to make some of the spaces gold, but I ran out of time. I thought it would be cool to have “Golden Ticket” cards that you picked up like action cards if you land on the space. So they could say things like Dorothy sabotaged your story with her sarcasm, lose a turn. Or Tell your own St. Olaf story and advance two spaces.

Here’s my game board. The ends are a little curled up because I had to draw it on a piece of printer paper, but you get the idea:

golden girls board game

 

 

The Golden Girls: Brother Can You Spare That Jacket?

If you exist on this earth, I am going to assume that you know of, have seen, or worship The Golden Girls. If you are not from Earth, hello, welcome. Thanks for reading my blog! Please google The Golden Girls before proceeding to read this post.

Things start off simply enough in this episode with the girls casually playing the scratch off lottery. Dorothy wins $10,000 dollars and they’re all excited about splitting it. (I guess when one golden girl wins all the golden girls win?) They decide to keep the ticket in Blanche’s new vintage jacket for safe keeping even though a coat pocket is not a very safe place at all. Would you carry around $10,000 in your coat pocket? I didn’t think so.

Sophia accidentally donates the jacket to charity, the girls head to the thrift store to pick it up, and unfortunately Michael Jackson has purchased it on his way to a sold out concert. The fact that Michael Jackson stopped at a thrift store mid-concert-commute in order to update his wardrobe is by far the least farfetched aspect of this episode.

Lucky, for the golden girls, Michael Jackson is auctioning off that very jacket for charity the next day. The opening bid is $10,000 (which seems like a steal for Michael Jackson’s jacket) so the girls are out of luck again. Yet in another shocking plot twist, the congressman who has won the ticket decides to donate it to charity (again!) so that a homeless person can have a warm jacket. No offense, but how cold does it really get in Miami? Shamelessly, the women decide to spend the night in the homeless shelter to try to track down the jacket.

This has got to be by far the cleanest homeless shelter ever. Everyone has army blankets and cots, but all of the mattresses and sheets look brand new. The golden girls are all bummed out by what they’re witnessing, but not bummed out enough to oh, I don’t know, let actual homeless people have their beds.

Sometimes I like to go down to the homeless shelter and just gab. It’s like a big slumber party!

Blanche tells a homeless man who pays a quarter for a breakfast of coffee and cereal that she prefers to skip breakfast because she has to watch her figure. Ugh, I know the writers are trying to make a social point, but this really just makes Blanche look like an idiot at best. The good thing about this episode is that each of the girls meets someone at the shelter who (in an non-sappy way) educates them about how terrible it is not to have consistent food and shelter—and oh wait we are looking for the jacket again.  The moment is saved by a folksy song as we thoughtfully pan the faces of the downtrodden—while still looking for the jacket. In a last minute change of heart, the girls donate the lottery ticket to the shelter.

Very Special Lesson: It’s okay to spend the night in a homeless shelter with limited bed space, as long as you hand over the winning lottery ticket in the morning.