This is a toughie. Both of these episodes have intrigue, stylish mid/late 90’s clothing, and great comedic timing. But only one can advance to the Very Special European Vacation Finals.
But first, a brief recap of Family Matters: Steve and the Winslows go to Paris via the Urk-Pad. Stefon becomes a super model. Steve is kidnapped by his pen pal at gun point because she wants to steal the Urk-Pad. A chase ensues and Steve falls off the eiffel tower only to be rescued by Carl who has turned on the Urk-Pad at the base of the tower, just in time.
Sabrina starts with Madonna’s “Sky Fits Heaven” so I’d say this is a lock on the music category. Sabrina is headed to Rome to release “the power trapped within” a locket she’s received from her father. All she knows is that “the secret lies in Rome.” Oooooh so mysterious! Sabrina ends up with a roommate in Rome. But she turns out to be a witch too. Only she’s not a very good witch, so that’s kind of the comedic relief here.
Anyway, this locket belonged to Sabrina’s sister, Sophia. She fell in love with a mortal who betrayed her, so she was stripped of her powers and banished like some Shakespearean character. Some American dudes who want to hit on Sabrina figure out she’s a witch and decide to sell a story about her to a tabloid. So Sabrina thinks her biggest challenge is balancing her new romance with solving this mystery, but really this dude is trying to ruin her life and she has no idea what danger she’s in. Sabrina takes an extended break from mystery-solving to go designer shopping.
Jennifer Page’s “Crush” is in this as well during a montage! So 1998! Finally, Sabrina decides to just go back in time and ask her Aunt Sophia to open the locket. (Omg, seriously. All this and that’s her freaking solution??) While back in time, Sabrina realizes that it wasn’t Sophia’s boyfriend who betrayed her but rather some lame courtier. Sabrina isn’t supposed to interfere because maybe she’ll mess up history and never be born. But when she figures all of this out, she can’t help but tell Sophia. So then Sophia puts her power (or herself?) in the locket and disappears. Sabrina and Sophia’s boyfriend run away from the evil courtier but leave the locket behind. Then Sabrina gets into a massive sword fight. Okay, so yeah Sophia is stuck in the locket.
And back in modern times, the guy who is trying to sell Sabrina for a story starts to have real feelings for her. Meanwhile, the worst witch has accidentally turned one of their warlock friends into a pigeon. When she finally finds him and turns him back into a human, he tells her that Sabrina’s crush is trying to destroy her. (Turns out pigeons have ears.) It’s too late to stop Sabrina though. She’s at the Trevi fountain making her crush’s dreams come true. She just transported him to see his family in a small Italian village. So the cat’s out of the bag about her being a witch and all. But this dude is so moved by the power of love that he’s not going to break her trust. His friend, however, has managed to capture them appearing and reappearing on tape by the Trevi fountain, so she’s screwed either way. Her friends want her to turn this dude into stone for 400 years. If she does this within twelve hours of him betraying her then she can keep her powers. But Sabrina won’t do it because maybe he won’t betray her. Ugh. So Sabrina goes to the museum to say goodbye to her aunt’s portrait. She’s all like I will always choose love over magic. Bleh. The dude she did NOT turn into stone shows up and shows her that he has destroyed the video evidence of her witch-ness. And this frees Sophia from the locket! OMG this was an epic!
Now, let’s break it down.
Vacation Attire: Stefon is looking fine in some 90’s couture suits. But Carl is hurting the Family Matters camp with all of his 90’s tourist dad outfits. And Steve matches his suspenders to his beret, so I really want to give him points for that. But honestly, I cannot give this point to Family Matters because Laura wears one too many ugly-ass floral print shirts for my liking. Plus Sabrina goes shopping at Armani AND travels back in time to the 18th century. So there’s that.
Music: Madonna AND Jennifer Page, be still my 90’s heart! Sabrina takes this point as well.
Integration of European Setting: Sabrina actually filmed on location and she’s literally all over the city of Rome solving this mystery and dating this cute guy, so point to Sabrina on this one.
Overall Plot: This is a particularly hard one. I absolutely love that Steve accidentally gets involved with some gangsters. But the Laura/Stefon romance has always been boring to me. Then there’s Sabrina’s cool locket-solving thing. But honestly she spent some much time figuring out that locket only to decide to just travel back in time and ask the original owner how to open it…so really we could have skipped the entire movie if she’d done that in the first five minutes. That is some poor writing I just can’t get behind, so points to Family Matters on this one.
Family Matters: Overall Plot = 2 points
Sabrina: Music + Vacation Attire + Integration of European Setting = 3 points
Next Week on The Very Special Blog: The Final: Growing Pains vs. Sabrina Goes to Rome
Now on to Taxi: Elaine has four weeks away from her kids for the summer, so she convinces Alex to go to Europe with her. On the plane, Alex offends everyone while Elaine makes friends with a cute guitarist. Life in first class was nice in the 70’s because everyone finds it very endearing when Elaine and the cute guy start singing Billy Joel’s “Vienna.” It’s loud and not exactly in tune. Thankfully, after the commercial break, we even get to hear the original version. Point to Taxi on this one. In Europe, Elaine continues to have a lovely time whereas Alex is lonely and miserable. The most exciting thing that happens to Alex is halfway through the episode. He’s playing a game of darts and accidentally hitting a fellow patron instead of the dart board. Did I mention he’s having a terrible trip? Alex gets increasingly depressed but won’t ask Elaine for help. He does finally get a date with a model, but she ditches him as soon as she finds out he’s a taxi driver. One night, Elaine finds a post card that Alex plans to mail to her address in New York. It says, “Dear Elaine, the time we spent writing post cards together was the best part of my trip.” Alex and Elaine decide to sleep together and the episode ends.
Blossom: Blossom goes to Paris to find her mother, who is a singer in a night club. Her mom thinks it’s just a visit, but Blossom pretty much plans to live there permanently. Her brothers want an inexpensive trip to Paris, so they decide to become couriers. They accept a job at a sketch office and both carry one package together to Paris. They’ve unknowingly accepted a job from the mob and even their dad isn’t skeptical of this arrangement. Meanwhile, Six tries to find an interim best-friend while Blossom is away. OMG BRITTANY MURHPY IS IN THIS EPISODE. But only for 3 seconds. She’s one of Six’s potential friends.
Family Matters: Steve accidentally sends Carl to his pen-pal, Nicole, in Paris. (Well, Carl accidentally stood on Steve’s Urk-Pad, a teleportation device.) But Nicole sends him back safe and sound. Carl had such a good time that he decides to go back with Harriet and Eddie. Steve decides to visit Nicole at the same time that the Winslows take their trip. Also, Laura and Stefon go to Paris on one super-long date.
The Very Special Blog 