Once upon a time in the ‘90’s, there was this little gem of a show based on Ann M. Martin’s classic book series about a group of middle school girls who spend their free time in a club devoted to babysitting. This show must have been filmed at Astoria Studios because even Dawn, who is supposed to be from California, sounds like she’s from the tri-state region. If you were a girl child of the ’90’s you could not escape this book series. There was bossy Kristy, artsy Claudia, fashionista Stacey, California Casual Dawn, good-girl Mary Anne, ballerina Jesse, and Mallory who had red hair, wore glasses, and other than that had no defining features. I hated this episode as a kid because I thought it was a flashback episode full of clips from episodes I had never seen. As it turns out, it’s a clip show full of new material. I guess these were ideas Ann M. Martin had but never felt like turning into a full length book, and the TV show decided that these random clips would make the best series finale, which just goes to show you that not all very special episodes are about terrible topics. It’s the last day of school and the BSC is having a slumber party. Jessie is nervous about going to dance camp, Kristy is excited about going to softball camp, and Mary-Anne is totally bummed that she see won’t see her friends every day for two months. All of these thoughts about their impending separation lead the girls to reminisce about how they first began the club.
Cue Memory #1 in which Kristy is wearing this bizarre jersey that says Sport Shack in some seriously old school lettering. She gets in trouble for cheering when the last bell rings, and some hard-ass teacher makes her write one hundred words about the importance of decorum. Meanwhile, Kristy’s mom is stressing because she can never find a sitter. Most thirteen year-olds would totally ignore this because it’s not really their problem, but like two and a half seconds after talking to her mom, Kristy’s eyes get wild and she casts aside her homework to plot out her magnum opus: The Baby-Stitters Club. She tells everyone how she didn’t think she would survive her first job, in which the mom meets here at the front door and describes how she must keep her rambunctious three year-old twins locked in the laundry room until it’s time to “go out.” Kristy can’t resist the promise of some cold hard cash, so she doesn’t run screaming from this house of apparent child abuse. Luckily, the twins turn out to be two dogs instead of toddlers.
Memory#2: The girls head downstairs for snacks and Claudia finds her dead grandmother’s teacup, so the girls reminisce about that relationship for while. Kristy does a really offensive fake Japanese accent which all of the girls find funny except for Claudia who is too lost in her thoughts to call Kristy out for being such an insensitive loser. Truly, the best part of all of this is that the very next scene is a flashback with Mimi (Claudia’s grandmother) and she has no accent whatsoever. This is a truly rare very special episode because it doesn’t involve any drugs or pregnancy and includes a racist joke. Also, in this scene Mallory ends up being the only baby-sitter with lucky steam rising from her tea. They had to throw her a bone because Mallory never has anything else going for her. Memory #3: The baby-sitters share a creepy memory about “staging a ceremony” before Kristy’s mom’s wedding. This ceremony turns out to be a full on mock wedding between two of Kristy’s younger siblings, which has clearly been orchestrated by the baby-sitters club. They make everyone attend and the they make the two young siblings exchange wedding vows. Luckily, the little boy runs away when they tell him to kiss the bride,so no almost-incest was committed.
Finally, all of the baby-sitters get sleepy after a night of reminiscing and fall asleep at midnight in what must be the tamest slumber party ever imagined. Note: I didn’t include all of them memories. Some of them were really boring.
Very Special Lesson: You don’t always have to have a very special lesson to have a very special episode. Or maybe friendship…friendship was the lesson.
P.S. This set came from Ikea before everyone shopped there:
This is one of the most backhanded compliments, I can think of. It’s almost like “you’re so great, what have you done wrong in your life that you’ve failed to achieve this otherwise attainable goal?” Or worse, “what’s fundamentally wrong with you that I’m not seeing?” What could possibly be the intended response to this question? “Oh, I don’t know. I’m just such a shy and unassuming flower. I’ve been waiting for the right person to discover me and here you are!” But that then again implies, that the woman even wants said questioner to be her boyfriend. And frankly, some of the most offensive things anyone has ever said to me start with that syntax: “How does a girl like you…” It’s not only inappropriate because it massively generalizes supposed “types” of women, but also because it leaves this vague question in the air of “What kind of girl do you think I am?”
The character of Cora is definitely scripted to lighten the mood in this otherwise assault-y date that Shawn is experiencing as Veronica, but it isn’t that drag that makes Cora funny. Sure, it’s funny in a novel way to see Corey as a saucy waitress, but after the initial shock of seeing Corey crash the Veronica/Gary date, Cora becomes just another character. The joke here is not “hey, look at me I’m dressed like a lady,” but rather “look at me I’m a cheeky waitress who tells it like it is, honey.” And the best part is that Corey doesn’t seem to think it’s funny that he’s in drag. Corey seems to really enjoy exploring this new archetype. Haven’t we all learned something new about ourselves when we experienced being someone different? Even if that lesson isn’t that we need to treat others better? Maybe that lesson is that we need to know ourselves better too.
Full House is possibly the most wholesome show ever, which is why I am surprised that Joey, Danny, and Jesse allowed DJ to go to a frat party while she’s still in high school. I thought they would know better. But maybe they are so wholesome that they don’t. Kimmy gets drunk at the party and feels like she can fly. If getting drunk always had this affect, I would be an alcoholic. Well, probably not. But it does sound like a fun experience.DJ takes her home, presumably so that Kimmy does not get in trouble at her house. However, I never remember Kimmy having parents, so I doubt this concern is warranted. Apparently, Kimmy was so drunk at the party that the frat boys kicked them out. I went to a liberal arts college without Greek life, so I am not that familiar with how this stuff works, but I would guess that they kicked them out because Kimmy was annoying and not because she was too drunk.
! At school the next day, Sabrina is totally out of control. She finally loses the remaining shreds of her self-control and binges on stacks of buttery carbohydrates at the pancake breakfast prom fundraiser. Then she ends up looking like Violet from Willie Wonka. Now, that is one scary overdose.
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