For me, the largest struggle of adulthood has been feeding myself. I don’t enjoy cooking, I try to eat as many raw things as possible, and I eat out as much as I can afford to. However, I’ve come to the point where I have to admit that this is not fiscally responsible. And it’s not really healthy either. I do think I make healthy choices when I eat out, but it’s cold and flu season and as much as I trust the health department and general food worker, germs still happen.

First I learned how to cook eggs. And this was how I truly realized that my college days were behind me. I was using my iphone to take pictures when the group I volunteer with was rendered camera-less due to low batteries. The facilitator came over to me and said, “Are you getting the pictures okay with your iphone?” And I quickly said, “Yeah!”and shielded my screen. This wasn’t because of anything particularly sordid in my camera roll, but rather at that moment I realized that my pictures from the last couple of weeks were all a mixture of scrambled eggs and lumps. The eggs being food the lumps being a swollen lymph node and a couple of spider bites on my arm (separate incidences).

I have now realized that I’m a real grown up.

I may have thought I was before, but I was just kid masquerading as a grown person. And that my concerns are real grown up concerns. “Is this lump normal? Was this bite from a brown recluse? Will my eggs be undercooked and give me salmonella?” Okay, well maybe these are not normal grownup concerns, but they are my grown up concerns.

So tonight, I conquered one of my biggest fears. I touched raw meat. Thus far, I haven’t been able to do that. I have only cooked with soy protein or fish (which I don’t really have to touch). But I used chicken tonight. My roommate witnessed all of this and decided that I should stat a YouTube cooking series for “Girls Who Don’t Know How to Cook.” A blind leading the blind sort of thing. And while I’m too afraid of YouTube to actually do this (too many haters in the comments and alleged rapists in the videos), I did make a list of the things that made her laugh the most. And hey! Maybe there actually are some helpful cooking tips in here for those of you who like me, maybe hadn’t touched raw chicken before tonight. It should be noted that my roommate has also never touched raw chicken.

“It’s starting to smell like food now”

“It’s okay if you cry the first time you touch the raw chicken. I was surprised I didn’t cry.”

“I think the juices are clear. Is it a bad sign if you can’t cut the chicken? Maybe it’s because I’m using a dinner fork.”

“Do you find that the potatoes are a little crunchy when you make this?”