lizzie mcguire

I remember being a fan of Lizzie McGuire, but I have no memory of this episode. Maybe it’s because it was an Aaron Carter episode? I felt like he was a celebrity that was so heavily marketed to my demographic that I was just kinda not ever going to be a fan.

So Lizzie’s going to get into some super-secure music video shoot by using her school “press pass” where she plans to meet Aaron Carter and interview him for the “school webzine.” But you know, since it’s just some little piece of paper a middle school teacher printed up and laminated, her “press pass” doesn’t get them into the shoot. When the press pass doesn’t work, they decide to dress up as elves and sneak in as “extras” for the video shoot. That doesn’t work either, but Lizzie’s brother Matt gets in when he is mistaken for an Aaron Carter stand-in.

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Lizzie and her friends finally make it into the shoot when they hide behind her Dad’s car as he drives through. He has a pass and was planning to take the kids with him to the set, but they don’t know that, so they now plan to hide from him for the entire time that they are there. Ugh. This is such a Disney plot. Hiding from your parents and being “rebels” while doing exactly nothing wrong.

In the midst of running from Lizzie’s dad and the one bumbling security guard on-set, they stumble into Aaron’s dressing room. Shortly thereafter, they’re discovered by Aaron’s manager who tells them in no uncertain terms to GTFO. But Lizzie asks if just one of them can meet Aaron because it’s Christmas and that’s a time of magical wish granting. Lizzie is such a good friend that she let’s her friend Miranda meet him, so that she can sing for him and get a music career or whatever. All of this happens off-screen.

But wait! Lizzie forgot her tape recorder in Aaron’s dressing room, so she goes back and knocks on the door to see if she can retrieve it. Aaron answers the door! And has the tape recorder in hand! Her name is on the tape recorder (thanks label makers of the early 2000s) so he says “Is this yours?” and she’s like “Yeah.” And he’s like “Merry Christmas, Lizzie McGuire.” Oh and BTW there is mistletoe over his door, so he just kisses her, which Lizzie thinks is romantic but like I dunno. It’s kinda weird to be kissing strangers without asking with or without a poisonous plant hanging over your heads.

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As Lizzie rejoins her friends, the security guard shows up and is ready to take them to “detention” which is a weird room where he’s also holding both of Lizzie’s parents hostage. (Her mom showed up to get her after the security guard called her, but he didn’t know where Lizzie was and then locked her mother up when she tried to look for her because she “didn’t have a pass.” Sounds like a lawsuit to me…)

Luckily, the director shows up and wants to use them all as “stunt elves” in the music video because he was very impressed with their skills in dodging the security guard. So they head off to be in the music video which is OMG NOT EVEN A CHRISTMAS SONG. It’s just Aaron Carter’s cover of “I Want Candy” with a holiday themed set. And so much for being “stunt elves” cause they’re just chilling in the background wearing street clothes.

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Very Special Holiday Lesson: I think this show basically says that trespassing is okay if you’re a really really good friend and an even bigger fan? But I dunno I’m pretty sure most of these people would have been arrested if this was real life.

Lizzie McGuire was this cute little show on Disney in the early 2000’s about three best friends in middle school. Having been a part of a girl-boy-girl best friend group in middle school, I can assure you it’s pretty much the best. I threw Hilary Duff a lot of shade around 2004 and I’d like to personally apologize to her via the internet for that. Not that she ever saw me throwing shade or will ever read this post. I was just jealous of her success and the fact that she seemed like a nice person probably made me hate her even more. But now that I’m looking back on this show, it’s really very sweet and adorable and that makes me feel like I was being a jerk a decade ago. So for that, Hilary, I’m sorry.

In the life of a middle schooler, there a best friends re many very special moments. But things got really serious on one dark day when Lizzie and her bffs made a music video. Aspiring director, Gordo, took photos of Lizzie and Miranda as they practiced their choreography to Play’s “Us Against the World.” I vaguely remembered that song, but I don’t think it was a hit. It is very catchy though. I still have it stuck in my head and I did play it on youtube a couple of times…kinda want to play it again right now. It’s just so catchy!

Anyway, Gordo brings the pictures to school the next day and Miranda (who has just ranted about how she is a total failure because she got a B on a test) freaks out because she believes she looks fat in the picture. Gordo and Lizzie are all like what are you talking about? We, as the audience, also get to view the photo and I can tell you it’s super cute. Miranda is definitely not fat, but props to this episode for getting the whole body dysmorphic aspect down pat. Here’s where things get a little weird. Instead of starting off with a strict diet–but a diet nonetheless–like most people who end up with eating disorders, Miranda skips right to the never eating again ever phase. I understand that we’re on an accelerated schedule with the whole 30-minute time limit thing, but maybe we could have had a time jump and a reference to her erratic eating? Or something a tad more progressive? But no, we get an extreme jump to lunch where Miranda fakes a paper cut in order to get out of consuming some pasta. Well, I think it was pasta. The lunchroom food did look pretty weird. (Also, they live in an environment where they can always eat outside. I don’t think I’ve ever seen these people eating in an actual lunchroom unless the lunch room is an outside courtyard thing.)

Things escalate when Miranda faints at Lizzie’s house while practicing the dance and we learn that she hasn’t eaten anything all day. Lizzie’s mom thinks Miranda is probably dehydrated from all of the dancing, but Lizzie breaks down later and tells her everything. Her advice is to try talking to Miranda and then in a few days if things haven’t improved, she can talk to Miranda and Miranda’s mom. Isn’t this some sort of violation of the mom code? If you know that someone’s kid is starving herself, aren’t you supposed to send out the mom bat signal, pick up the red phone, sound the alarm that this kid needs some help? I’m all of letting kids work things out on their own and I know that eating disorders are delicate situations, but it still seems strange to me that Lizzie’s mom has no moral obligation to at least let Miranda’s mom know the situation.

But it’s a Disney show, so of course the “frienervention” works, and Miranda (realistically) explains that eating was something she could control in her life. She’s miranda been under a lot more pressure than anyone knew–mostly due to the fact that her parents for some reason demanded that their thirteen year old determine her life goals. Miranda feels so much better that she’s able to complete all of her music video choreography even though she hasn’t eaten in the past couple of days. The music video is a more innocent rip off of Britney’s …Baby, One More Time. Though it does feature Miranda and Lizzie in detention dancing on top of a very uncomfortable teacher’s desk. The teacher also dances with them and they hip bump him and it’s kind of strange. Other than that it’s pretty cute and the song is soooo catchy. Here’s a gif: Very Special Lesson: Don’t worry if you’re friend abruptly stops eating, you can always talk it out. Or dance it out.