sephora

The title of this post was originally going to be “Minnie Mouse Lipstick Is Too Cute for Its Own Good.” But since this post is about how I wasted too much money on lipstick I now find too cute to use, then I think the original title may be inaccurate. I mean maybe this lipstick’s cuteness is actually in its best interest. I haven’t used it at all because it’s so freaking cute and thus it will live forever. Kind of like how babies are so cute so that we tolerate wiping their poo and listening to them scream really loudly. That’s how evolution works, right?

So it seems that in addition to being cute, this lipstick has also beat me evolutionarily and I’m very upset about that. I’ve also realized that I have a problem buying cute, overpriced novelty products. Like if that Misfits line of make up that Shani suggested ever becomes a real thing, then I’ll effectively become bankrupt.

Anyway, here’s the really cute Minnie Mouse lipstick that I purchased from Sephora the moment they emailed me that it had become available. (Yes, I’m that girl.) It’s been sitting on my table for a month in it’s original packaging, taunting me.

Screen Shot 2016-05-14 at 11.52.10 AM

But do you see how they put Minnie’s face right where you’re supposed to put your lips? What am I supposed to do, smear Minnie’s face into oblivion? I’m not a monster!! Also, I paid $15 for “Minnie’s Perfect Red Lipstick” and it turned out to be just “The Red” from the Sephora Collection that sells for $12.50 and doesn’t involve massacring a cartoon mouse face in order to use it.

Tonight on a Very Special Episode of the The Very Special Blog, I will be reviewing MAKEUP! What?? I’ve watched some videos on how to do this and if I was going to do it the right way, I would be sitting at an all white vanity while dub step played in the background.

But I took note of the steps and I think we can do this the low-tech way.

Step 1: Introduce the Product
I have a feeling we can thank that terrible “Jem and the Holograms” movie for this product line, but I don’t care. I haven’t been this excited to purchase lipstick since I was matching my Tinkerbell lipstick to my stick on earrings. And then I saw this little nugget of joy on the Sephora website for only $10.

I’m guessing real “Beauty Bloggers” do not use stovetops as the backdrop for product shots.

Step 2: Unpack the Product
The lipstick is called “Truly Outrageous” and, in classic Jem style, it’s hot pink.

It also has a branded top, which excited me way more than I’m willing to admit…and of course Sephora co-branded the lipstick on the side.

Step 3: Demonstrate the product
This is the part of makeup videos that’s always kind of lost on me. Maybe it’s because all of the presenters have either peaches-and-cream or golden-olive skin tones. Nevertheless, here is a “swatch” of “Truly Outrageous” on my pasty-white arm:

I’d say it’s highly-pigmented, yet not as intense as you might think from looking at it. But still, it’s hard to truly identify the color and what it might look like on your skin tone, so on a scale of Madonna’s Material Girl Dress

to Frenchie’s Hair

I’d rate it at about these shoes:
…which by the way look a little dangerous.

Anyway, here’s the lipstick on my lips (which are statistically not the same color as your lips, but for $10 and a piece of pop culture, who cares?) It glides on smoothly and is non-drying. It’s definitely not long-lasting but it doesn’t rub off too easily either. All in all, the wear is pretty average. And it’s definitely something you’d wear for the fun of it, not the practicality at all. I plan to wear it to work when I anticipate having a hard day.

It could be the poor quality of my iPhone photo or the weird lighting in my bathroom, but do I detect a hint of Jem sparkle?