Marcia has a date with star quarter-back, Doug Simpson. But oh no, she has a date for Saturday with Charlie as well! Whatever will she do? It’s so hard to be Marcia.

Well, if Mom and Dad Brady had taught Marcia about the right thing to do, she would keep the date with Charlie. She could also tell Doug that she was so excited to go to the dance with him that she totally forgot about Charlie. This means she’s going to a. keep the date with Charlie like she should and b. flatter the hell out of Doug even though she’s canceling on him, which means he’s definitely going to ask her for a rain check.

Bam, I solved this problem and we could end the episode in four minutes. But no, Marcia decides to be a jerk instead. Greg tells her to tell Charlie that “something suddenly came up” and that tepid excuse totally works. Charlie is such a nice guy that he says he hopes they can go out some other time.

But no, that’s not how this story goes. She spends all of her time with Doug now and chats forever with him on the phone. It’s after one of these phone chats, that she walks out into the backyard to talk to Peter and Bobby–and that’s when we get the infamous football to the face scene. And after that we have to hear Marcia complain for the rest of the episode because she’s no longer pretty for her date. I mean it’s not like the first time she’s met Doug. Can’t he just use his imagination? And if not, then can we just agree he’s a jerk?

But I guess not because Marcia won’t care if he’s shallow. She’s shallow too. She broke off her date with that nice guy, Charlie who just wanted to take her out for pizza and a movie. And ultimately, her worst fears come true. Doug sees her nose at school and breaks their date using the same line she used on Charlie.

Anyway, her nose swelling miraculously lasts for only 24 hours and then Doug wants to go out with her again. But Marcia is all like heck no! I’ve seen your true colors! and then she confesses everything to Charlie and miraculously he still wants to go out with her. Marcia Brady, miracle worker.

Very Special Lesson: Marcia really does get everything she wants. I think this was supposed to teach her a lesson in humility, but I don’t think she got that message. It’s not wonder that she drove Jan nuts. Marcia, Marcia, Marcia.