Fuller House Plot Ideas

You may have heard by now that Netflix is definitely producing a sequel to Full House, in which D.J. Tanner “Fuller” is a single mom of two kids with another one on the way. One of her children is named J.D. because apparently those Tanners are obsessed with the letters D and J. Will they call him “Jeed” like they called D.J. “Deej”?

To make things even more depressing than losing a spouse with three youngsters, D.J. loses her spouse while pregnant. This of course means that her sister Stefanie and her bff Kimmy Gibbler (also a single mom) have to move in together in one San Francisco home! It also may mean that it’s bad luck to get pregnant with a Tanner thrice. It may mean you’ll die tragically.

Since I’ve been reviewing a lot of Full House very special episodes over the lifespan of this blog, I feel that this entitles me to predict a few episodes.

Episode 1.1: DJ is totally bummed that the father of her 2.5 children has passed away, leaving her with nothing but a victorian home and broken dreams. So she invites her sister and bff to move in. I mean it worked her her dad when he tragically lost his spouse, right? Except Kimmy and Stephanie don’t get along and neither do the kids. And it’s so zany! Everyone divides the house into their respective area where no one else is allowed. Maybe they use a lot of masking tape to demonstrate these boundaries. But at the end of the day they realize they’re all from broken families just trying to make it together in this cruel, unpredictable world.

Episode 1.4: Uncle Jesse and Aunt Becky guest star. We thankfully do not see their obnoxious twin children. Uncle Jesse gives Stephanie a pep talk about her struggle to become a professional singer. Stephanie realizes she was at her best when performing with her archenemy Kimmy. The two overcome their differences and decide to reform Girl Talk only to discover at their first rec center concert that the crowd thought they were seeing DJ Gregg Gillis aka “Girl Talk.”

Episode 1.12: Kimmy’s teenage daughter tries [insert controlled substance here] for the first time and all of the adults sit her down for a big talk. The message really hits home though when it turns out that neurotic youngest child Max really looks up to her and is disappointed by her actions.

Episode 1.17: Steve Hale has moved back to San Francisco and is looking to date D.J. again. Even though she lives with two other adult women and 3 children and is pregnant. But D.J. just isn’t sure she can handle it all!! Their on again/off again romance continues into the 21st century.

Episode 1.22: In the first season finale, D.J. gives birth to her dead husband’s child. The entire Tanner family rushes to be by her side, including youngest Tanner, Michelle–who has been recast by a nondescript blonde actress who we never see again. D.J. asks her to get her some ice while at the hospital and recast-Michelle says, “You got it dude,” to the tune of a laugh track. Due to poor audience reception, this is the only time we will see recast-Michelle and she will be “put on a bus” for the rest of the series.

Like when they tried to replace Jan in The Brady Bunch Variety Hour.
In other reboot news, this is happening. Just accept it. Everything is being rebooted. Is this a sign of the apocalypse?

That Time I Tried to Be Open-Minded

I just got home from work. And as I unlocked my door, I said to myself: “I should blog about the one thing that could possible make me change all of my opinions on Girl Meets World.

You see, yesterday I learned that they would finally provide some closure to the Mr. Turner story. This is all I have ever wanted from Girl Meets World. It’s the primary reason I was interested in a reboot. It’s the only thing that could make me rethink my scathing reviews of it. And so I was going to sit here and say, “Hey! Reboots just might be okay!”

WORST CLIFF HANGER EVER!!

But then I learned that some idiot is remaking She’s All That and I immediately decided that I am still pissed about reboots.

I’ve never even seen the original She’s All That. I remember it being heavily parodied in Not Another Teen Movie, and my bff in middle school was pretty obsessed with the movie. But really, I never wanted to see the movie. And I’m okay with that. I’m not okay with the 21st Century appropriating my childhood every time I turn around!

Why do we need all of these reboots? Why can’t we all just watch reruns and blog about them??

Everything Old is New Again

I understand that I’m writing a nostalgia blog, so who am I to point fingers? But can we please get some new content in Television? At first I was like hooray, Twin Peaks and then David Lynch was all like well, maybe not. But I rolled with the punches. Plus, sometimes it’s like: Who hasn’t been in The Odd Couple? It was a play that became a TV Show that became a play like 50 bazillion times and is now a TV Show again. I can deal with that. And I love Matthew Perry and that girl from Sabrina, so I could totally see myself giving the show a chance. I haven’t seen a full episode, so if it sucks don’t judge me/just pretend I never slightly endorsed it on the internet. And hey, I’m open minded. I even plan on watching the new Magic School Bus series because I’ve found that those episodes and Bill Nye are they ways that I learn best about science. But lately, I’ve started to feel like every time I turn around there’s another reboot in the mix and I’m starting to get pissed off about it. Maybe, it’s because I’ve been burned before. I’m looking at you Girl Meets World. But really, I can’t help but wonder is nothing sacred anymore?? Something about the Ducktales announcement has really resonated with me. Like Ducktales is coming back too? No one can think of an innovate new show for America’s youth, so we have to recycle Ducktales? It seems like everyone is looking for safe ratings, so they’re grabbing up shows they already know have done well. Instead of giving shows a chance to grow because nothing else is picking up great ratings, we live in a world where Coach gets a full series order after eighteen years. But at the same time, reboots can offer a chance to redeem a show that was once amazing and then flopped. Like maybe the new Muppet reboot can make us forget about Muppets Tonight. And wouldn’t we be all the better for it? Alas, it appears that society is telling me that reboots are in. So I’m launching a new segment of The Very Special Blog called “Reboot-o-Rama.” And yes, this is all an elaborate rouse to re-watch The Brady Brides.