I painstakingly consider how to effectively tag my posts, picking the top four terms I think best apply–any more and I fear that it will look like I have written spam or any less and I may go undiscovered. So when I look at the below list of search terms, I have to wonder…have I totally failed at SEO? Most of the search terms are encrypted, so I have to analyze my tagging skills based upon the rather small list below. Yet some of them are so strange I wonder…how have these people found me based upon this? Thus, I have decided to pull out my Nancy Drew spyglass and investigate some of these terms on my own.

Ben Savage Drinking Problem
Okay, so at first I was like “What, Ben Savage has a drinking problem?!?” but then I realized that I had tagged my post about Shawn and Corey getting drunk on Boy Meets World with Ben Savage’s name as well. Fortunately, it does not appear that Ben Savage has a drinking problem in real life, though another different Ben Savage was apparently involved in a fatal hit-and-run. Was the person who found The Very Special Blog looking for a local news story about a different Ben Savage? Did this person think that beloved actor Ben Savage has an alcohol addiction? Or could they simply not remember the name Corey Matthews? We may never know. The internet remains a mystery. I think that the “boy meets world scene wallpaper” also must have popped up this article because of my use of that group photo. It seriously must have been a slow day on Google Images though.

Cosby Show Drinker Down
Well, done Cosby Show fans. This, of course, is the incendiary phrase that Cliff and Clare heckle Vanessa with as she resists their sick drinking game of lies. I personally thought they were uttering some sort of mumbled “drink her down,” but I could see how one might hear it as “drinker down.”  While I do recall heavily promoting the adoption of the phrase “chug-a-lug” in modern drinking language, I fail to remember mentioning anything about “drinker down.” I couldn’t find myself up to the 5th page of Google search with this phrase, at which point I got tired and gave up. However, I must admire this unknown individual’s dedication to thirty year old sitcom episode recaps, which appears to be far greater than my own.

White Slavery is Real
I am truly afraid to search this term. Yet my dedication to investigative journalism insists that I must. In fact, Google suggests it as the most popular term after “white slavery is…” which I find concerning. I am not on the first three pages of Google for this one, and I refuse to go any further. I am relieved to find that most of the search results are historical in nature, but it still is awfully creepy. This search term MUST have lead to my post about Lisa from Saved by the Bell giving a presentation about the underground railroad. I definitely don’t think I have mentioned the word slavery any other time on this blog.

Crossed Dressed Teenage Boys
This is all about Chick Like Me! Whether or not that is what this searcher was hoping to find, I cannot say, but I hope they learned a bit about living in someone else’s shoes while they stopped over at The Very Special Blog!

Original Saved by the Bell Show Prop
I can’t help with this one, but I believe there are plenty of people on Ebay who would love to sell you some “original” props.

Braceface Cheerleader
Apparently, there is an episode of Braceface where Sharon (ugh that is NOT her real name) gets jealous of a cheerleader. I have never seen that episode, so I”m afraid this was a totally disappointing page for this searcher to land on. I also fear that some insecure adolescent girl did not get the reassurance she needed about being on the cheerleading squad and also having braces. Hello, insecure adolescent girl. If you have searched these keywords again and once more found yourself on this page, fear not! I knew plenty of girls in high school who were successful cheerleader and also wore braces. You’ll be okay!

who played on the facts of life starstruck jermaine jackson names
Jermaine Jackson was played by Jermaine Jackson. Unless, you want to know who played crazed-fan, Tootie. That was Kim Fields.

Straight Up Anti-Drug Video
Schools other than my dumb school made kids watch this stupid movie? Oh war on drugs, your reach is far.

Where can i get a growing pains luau in hawaii?
I have no idea, but if you find out, please let me know.

90’s very special episodes
This is the dream!! This is what I hope brings people to this site! But only one person seems to have found it that way…whoops…oh well. However, if all of Jermaine Jackson’s 21st century fans are finding this site via his name, then that’s cool too. The Very Special Blog: for all of your Jermaine Jackson guest appearance needs. And that time Fake-Michael-Jackson was on The Golden Girls and Saved by the Bell. (Dear Jackson Family Fans, if I have successfully lured you here by name dropping people who are very rarely mentioned on this site, then won’t you please take a second and listen to me snark about television for a little while? It could be fun!)

The End.

P.S. I know that I did not investigate all of the terms. This post got too long. And some of them were boring. Feel free to do your own research if you’re interested. But if you are an SEO spambot, I will ignore you. Be forewarned.