Jem: Alone Again

Screen Shot 2015-05-24 at 5.16.42 PMThere’s a new girl in the Starlight Home. Jerrica finds her crying while cradling a ping-pong paddle like a baby doll. Laura says no one understands her and she doesn’t “measure up” to all of the other abandoned children at the Starlight House. They’re so cool with their fashion sense and talents. Jerrica tries to tell her that everyone is good and something and Laura’s all like everyone but me! Then she goes off to film this music video:

Jem and The Holograms enter the room and are all like you’re so talented! They ask her to play at their concert with them, but she says she’s not good enough. Finally, she accepts  under protest and then she starts to crack under the pressure. A drug pusher overhears her talking to herself on the see-saw at school. He offers her pills that will make her “play great.” Then he tells her he’ll be at the concert and hopes she will play her best. This makes Laura be all like, okay if the cute boy wants me to!

I’Screen Shot 2015-05-24 at 5.23.05 PMm not sure what kind of pills this dude gave her. She starts of feeling “lighter and faster” but then she starts hallucinating like crazy. She sees the thermos in her lunch box turn into a bird. Then she decides she’d like to fly like a bird and climbs out on her ledge. She yells at Jerrica, who is below the windo begging her not to jump, angrily and says, “You may be prettier than me and smarter. But I can fly. I can fly!” Okay, so I’ve narrowed down the drug options here to PCP. If I were Jerrica, I’d call the paramedics and then seek shelter immediately. But Jerrica’s a rescuer, so she runs upstairs while Laura is doing a countdown to blastoff and reaches the window just in time. Laura ends up slipping, but Jerrica has super human strength, so she catches Laura by the arm while also maintaining her own balance and then uses her core strength to lift Laura up into a standing position as she pulls her through the window.

Right at this moment, Laura seems to be coming down from the drug and is genuinely shocked and depressed that neither the thermos nor she is a bird. Jerrica says a lot of things like let’s talk but she never actually says anything of substance other that “WHERE ARE THE DRUGS?” and Laura says “THERE ARE NO DRUGS!” So then she goes back to school and gets more drugs from the pusher/boy she has a crush on.

This drug seems more like cocaine. She can’t sleep and all she wants to do is play guitar ALL NIGHT! One of the other Starlight Girls beats her up because she’s being so annoying. She’s like totally pummeling her but they’re only grounded for a week each. The next morning, Laura is extremely irritable and cannot find her drugs. She starts destroying the house because she can’t play her music or live without the drugs she’s taken like twice now.

Screen Shot 2015-05-24 at 5.52.48 PMJerrica finds her stealing money from her purse (the pusher has started charging now). Laura looks all around school for the drug pusher, but when she overhears him giving the same sales pitch to another starlight girl she starts subbing because he didn’t love her at all! Jerrica finds her outside of the school and takes her for a drive to talk her into going to rehab. She fails to mention that the drug pusher was selling to another Starlight girl literally moments earlier, but she does agree to go to the group, and also to participate in a sting operation to catch the drug pusher. (Luckily, the other Starlight girl didn’t want the drugs and gave them to the police right after the drug pusher gave them to her.)

Now Laura is immensely more confident, and just in time for the concert!

Very Special Lesson: Taking drugs won’t fix your stage fright. But becoming addicted to drugs and kicking the habit in a week will make you feel badass enough to play an arena concert.

3 thoughts on “Jem: Alone Again

  1. She should have known not to trust him–look at his eyebrows. Ah the 80s beating over the head with the anti-drug stuff, One time and you’re HOOKED!

    Sad thing is…most music written by high people is better. The Beatles, The Doors, Nirvana, all of West Coast 90s rap. Then there’s Jem and the Holograms. Which would you rather listen to?

    PS-I bet the Misfits had at least one high member. That is why they were better.

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