I think it’s safe to say that Nancy Reagan is the patron saint of this blog. Without the war on drugs, we never would have learned: how to avoid doing cocaine in the bathroom, how to keep from hallucinating cartoons, or the how to cope with the terrible dangers of pancakes.

And then of course there was this little gem, in which the first lady herself makes an appearance on Diff’rent Strokes. Here’s the gist of the episode in less than 3 minutes:

Yes, Arnold has decided to rendezvous with a drug-dealing child in order to write an expose for his school’s newspaper. I have to be honest, I didn’t take my tenure on my school’s newspaper all that seriously. Yet here I am blogging about these hard-hitting issues and I didn’t even have to buy drugs to advance this far in my career!

Anyway, things get so out of hand with this one newspaper article for this one little school’s newspaper that the only thing left to do is call in the first lady for a little assistance. I’ve scoured the internet, but unfortunately all I can show you is this incredibly low quality footage shot on a cell phone and very far away from a small TV screen with tracking issues:

The Very Special Blog’s patron saint deserves better than that crappy video, but I am sure she is in a much better place now–where most certainly no one is doing crack cocaine.