Mark is signing The First Noel at church. He and the other kids have to wear robes with letters that spell out N-O-E-L. Mark is the N and he thinks his robe “looks geeky.” Meanwhile, Brad wants to skip-out on Christmas with his family, so he can go skiing with a friend from school. (Brad was always the shittiest kid in this family).
When it’s time to go to church and see Mark sing on Christmas Eve, Brad is too busy sulking to come along just because his mom wants “the whole stupid family” to spend Christmas together. (Literally. The shittiest.)
The family leaves Brad at home, rather than forcing him to come along and have him throw a fit all night. When Tim comes home to check on him, he finds Brad trying to sneak out of the house with his skis. He doesn’t want to miss out on the trip because there will be a lot of people there that he wants to hang out with.
“Christmas is not about being with people you like. It’s about being with your family,” words of wisdom from Tim, the Tool Man, Taylor. But then things get real. Tim tells Brad that he’s not going to be a kid forever. One day he’ll have his own family and never make it home for Christmas, just like Tim and Jill never spend Christmas with their parents. Plus, Tim’s days are numbered since he lives dangerously on the set of Tool Time.
So finally it’s time for Mark’s big debut as the N. But the kids line up backwards, so it looks like they’re singing about some guy named Leon. Oh hey and do you recognize the kid playing the L? It’s Michelle Tanner’s friend Derek from Full House! Of course, Brad shows up mid-song and it’s a joyous occasion.
Very Special Holiday Lesson: Don’t ditch your family on Christmas, even if there’s a cool trip involved.
A mysterious man arrives at Cheers on Christmas Eve. He reveals to Carla that he is a spy and she of course tells everyone in the Cheers crew. He’s quite taken with Carla, which flatters her to no end. As she brags to Diane about her new friend, Diane begins to poke holes in his story. He doesn’t know the right currency for Norway and misidentifies a city to Turkey as a city in Bulgaria.
Will and his extended family are hitting the slopes for the holidays, which Will says is “for white guys named Sven and OJ Simpson” (because this was back when people thought OJ Simpson was delightful and hadn’t yet realized he is a colossal turd person). They’re all driving separately to the airport (omg please say this is going to turn into a Home Alone episode) and Uncle Carl hands out the tickets in advance.
Uncle Jesse catches Michelle trying to burn her gift in the fireplace. Oh my gosh, danger on the Full House set! But she guilts him in to taking her to the store to buy a replacement gift, so she perks up pretty quickly. But Mickey Rooney owns the store that she bought the gift from and he gives her a hard time about not having her receipt.
Then Jesse forces Mickey Rooney to call his family because he’s a meddler. He’s just lucky that this doesn’t backfire horribly.
holidays, and if you have the time you may be in the market for a seasonal job. And that’s how Cory ends up working for the mob.
Cory quits his job immediately and Shawn fills the vacancy. Shawn becomes so dedicated to his mob-job that he skips school to work longer shifts. “Jobs like this don’t come around very often,” he says. It turns out Shawn is of the high-risk teen population that would take a low-level position with the mob.
On Christmas Eve, the “restaurant owners” ask Shawn to deliver a box to a warehouse and bring back an envelope. They promise to find him “something a little more permanent” if he successfully completes this task. Cory meets Shawn at the warehouse and tries to get him to walk out on the middle of a job for the freaking-mafia. Are you trying to get him killed, Cory?? Also, are you stalking him? How did you find this sketch-ass warehouse? Do you even have a drivers license at this point??
Stan shows up with at the girls’ house and tries to get them to invest in a new business plan for manufacturing fake vomit. They slam the door in his face, of course.
Anyway, all of the girls decide to help out a Rose’s church, feeding the homeless. They’re really just looking to unload some fruitcake, but I guess it’s good to get volunteers any way you can. But when they get there they find out that Stan is homeless. He put every last penny into a novelty item of Santa wearing sunglasses and driving a fire engine. But the supplier only delivered the Santas on Christmas Eve. Oh and also Stan’s wife has thrown him out of the house.
But Dorothy gives Stan a pep talk on how he once saved Christmas for their kids when they had no money. He convinced them that Christmas was actually December 26th and stole a tree from someone’s trash. He decorated it and they all had a nice holiday. I guess you can kind of see why Dorothy once loved this guy.
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