Greetings from the happiest place on Earth! Look who I spotted in Hollywood Studios? It’s Scott from Full House!
The VSB Goes Meta
One Lovely Blog Award
JH Mae has nominated me for the One Lovely Blog Award. THANKS, JH MAE!! I’m supposed to share 7 “unknown” facts about myself and then nominate some of my favorite blogs to do the same.
- I have a weakness for office supplies. I want to have a shopping spree at Staples. This love of office supplies is so intense that it carriers over to a love of office work. I don’t mind paperwork. I have always enjoyed filing. I would love to stamp all of your envelopes with the return address stamp. I like using the postage machine. I will pretend to be bothered if you try to manipulate me into metering mail for you, but it’s a lie. I like to do it.
- I’d like to host a radio show, but I probably talk to fast for you to understand me. I think I could work on
a cool disc jokey announcer voice though. You’d have to be down to listen to some Rolling Stones and Fine Young Cannibals though, and I’m not sure that’s the same crowd. I would make sure to have really cool prizes for the contests though. - A camel once imprinted on me in the span of like 20 minutes. I went to Australia when I was eleven and we were outside listening to some sort of presentation out on a farm in Alice Springs, and I encountered a camel who was being weaned. There were like 30 other people there and this camel decided that I should be his new mom. It was okay for the first two minutes when my mom was like “omg -” and then I was sort of overwhelmed by it and like, “Mom, I can’t be his mom! What is happening? I am a person not a camel!” I found the whole thing very distressing and I felt an odd sense of responsibility. It’s funny now to think I felt genuine emotional pressure from this camel.
- I can play only one song on the piano. I took piano for eight years as a child, so this is pretty shameful. But I can play Dream by the Everly Brothers. This may be largely due to the fact that this is the one song I enjoyed playing. It’s been years, since I have been near a piano, so it’s possible that this fact is no longer true.
- I guess this goes along with the office supply thing, but I have a mild obsession with carbon paper. I wish we used it on a more frequent basis even though I know computers are more efficient and green and so on, but carbon paper is still like magic to me. I found a waitress’s check pad at a dime store in high school and I had to purchase it due to the abundance of carbon paper it provided.
- I recently stopped drinking coffee entirely. This is in sharp contrast to my post in defense of Jesse Spano’s caffeine addiction, I know, but I detoxed while recovering from a stomach bug and I realized that black tea makes me feel better than coffee. So while I am not entirely caffeine free, I have switched to less-caffeine, but I think really the less acidity is the best part. And also I feel sort of like a Mellow Zen Earth Mother. And by that I mean I feel less anxious and dehydrated.
- I hate to cook so much that I will eat pretty much anything I can find in order to not cook. If you’re interested in an a three course meal of carrots & humus, a cold cut and provolone cheese platter with crackers, and yogurt mixed with granola and blueberries served on my coffee table for dinner, then I’m your girl.
And now for my nominees! You don’t have to participate, and you might not even know me. If so, whoops, then reading these random facts is a weird way to meet me. Anyhow, I enjoy reading your blog, so I’m nominating this award.
(in no particular order)
Breakfast with Myself
Just Stay Gold, Okay?
Sleepoverz
The Hashtag Generation
Stitch Boom Bang
Lisa Listed
A Very Meta Post: Search Terms
I painstakingly consider how to effectively tag my posts, picking the top four terms I think best apply–any more and I fear that it will look like I have written spam or any less and I may go undiscovered. So when I look at the below list of search terms, I have to wonder…have I totally failed at SEO? Most of the search terms are encrypted, so I have to analyze my tagging skills based upon the rather small list below. Yet some of them are so strange I wonder…how have these people found me based upon this? Thus, I have decided to pull out my Nancy Drew spyglass and investigate some of these terms on my own.
| ben savage drinking problem | 2 |
| dj and kimmy at the fraternity party | 1 |
| cosby show drinker down | 1 |
| bayside the musical | 1 |
| white slavery is real | 1 |
| boy meets world scene wallpaper | 1 |
| crossdressed teenage boys | 1 |
| brother can you spare a jacket | 1 |
| original saved by the bell show prop | 1 |
| braceface cheerleader | 1 |
| 90’a outfits | 1 |
| golden girls | 1 |
| where can i get a growing pains luau in hawaii? | 1 |
| the facts of life starstruck names | 1 |
| straight up anti-drug video | 1 |
| who played on the facts of life starstruck jermaine jackson names | 1 |
| boy meets world if you can’t be with the one you love | 1 |
| full house 2014 | 1 |
| 90’s very special episodes | 1 |
| saved by the bell | 1 |
| running zack saved by the bell | 1 |
| panga saved by the bell | 1 |
| sabrina pancakes | 1 |
Ben Savage Drinking Problem
Okay, so at first I was like “What, Ben Savage has a drinking problem?!?” but then I realized that I had tagged my post about Shawn and Corey getting drunk on Boy Meets World with Ben Savage’s name as well. Fortunately, it does not appear that Ben Savage has a drinking problem in real life, though another different Ben Savage was apparently involved in a fatal hit-and-run. Was the person who found The Very Special Blog looking for a local news story about a different Ben Savage? Did this person think that beloved actor Ben Savage has an alcohol addiction? Or could they simply not remember the name Corey Matthews? We may never know. The internet remains a mystery. I think that the “boy meets world scene wallpaper” also must have popped up this article because of my use of that group photo. It seriously must have been a slow day on Google Images though.
Cosby Show Drinker Down
Well, done Cosby Show fans. This, of course, is the incendiary phrase that Cliff and Clare heckle Vanessa with as she resists their sick drinking game of lies. I personally thought they were uttering some sort of mumbled “drink her down,” but I could see how one might hear it as “drinker down.” While I do recall heavily promoting the adoption of the phrase “chug-a-lug” in modern drinking language, I fail to remember mentioning anything about “drinker down.” I couldn’t find myself up to the 5th page of Google search with this phrase, at which point I got tired and gave up. However, I must admire this unknown individual’s dedication to thirty year old sitcom episode recaps, which appears to be far greater than my own.
White Slavery is Real
I am truly afraid to search this term. Yet my dedication to investigative journalism insists that I must. In fact, Google suggests it as the most popular term after “white slavery is…” which I find concerning. I am not on the first three pages of Google for this one, and I refuse to go any further. I am relieved to find that most of the search results are historical in nature, but it still is awfully creepy. This search term MUST have lead to my post about Lisa from Saved by the Bell giving a presentation about the underground railroad. I definitely don’t think I have mentioned the word slavery any other time on this blog.
Crossed Dressed Teenage Boys
This is all about Chick Like Me! Whether or not that is what this searcher was hoping to find, I cannot say, but I hope they learned a bit about living in someone else’s shoes while they stopped over at The Very Special Blog!
Original Saved by the Bell Show Prop
I can’t help with this one, but I believe there are plenty of people on Ebay who would love to sell you some “original” props.
Braceface Cheerleader
Apparently, there is an episode of Braceface where Sharon (ugh that is NOT her real name) gets jealous of a cheerleader. I have never seen that episode, so I”m afraid this was a totally disappointing page for this searcher to land on. I also fear that some insecure adolescent girl did not get the reassurance she needed about being on the cheerleading squad and also having braces. Hello, insecure adolescent girl. If you have searched these keywords again and once more found yourself on this page, fear not! I knew plenty of girls in high school who were successful cheerleader and also wore braces. You’ll be okay!
who played on the facts of life starstruck jermaine jackson names
Jermaine Jackson was played by Jermaine Jackson. Unless, you want to know who played crazed-fan, Tootie. That was Kim Fields.
Straight Up Anti-Drug Video
Schools other than my dumb school made kids watch this stupid movie? Oh war on drugs, your reach is far.
Where can i get a growing pains luau in hawaii?
I have no idea, but if you find out, please let me know.
90’s very special episodes
This is the dream!! This is what I hope brings people to this site! But only one person seems to have found it that way…whoops…oh well. However, if all of Jermaine Jackson’s 21st century fans are finding this site via his name, then that’s cool too. The Very Special Blog: for all of your Jermaine Jackson guest appearance needs. And that time Fake-Michael-Jackson was on The Golden Girls and Saved by the Bell. (Dear Jackson Family Fans, if I have successfully lured you here by name dropping people who are very rarely mentioned on this site, then won’t you please take a second and listen to me snark about television for a little while? It could be fun!)
The End.
P.S. I know that I did not investigate all of the terms. This post got too long. And some of them were boring. Feel free to do your own research if you’re interested. But if you are an SEO spambot, I will ignore you. Be forewarned.
The Very Special Blog Makes Me Cry
Wait. No. That doesn’t sound right. Let me explain. I recently drafted a post about the Disney Channel classic Wish Upon a Star and I was scoffing away, furiously banging out some insulting witticisms about the silly plot, and then I totally teared up. I was sitting there being like “Damn, this movie is dumb but like they are sisters and they are friends! I love it!” So the truth is…and maybe this is a pretty poorly kept secret…but I love very special episodes so much.
My boyfriend–who I forced to actually visit this blog by taking away the “read via email” function.–told me that every time a very special episode came on TV he would be like “oh noooo it’s one of those lesson episodes!” Child version of me, on the other hand, was like “Oh my gosh. This is a very important message about how to be a better person and not die of a marijuana overdose. I must give Mrs. Garrett my full attention.” Between Diff’rent Strokes and The Facts of Life Mrs. Garrett felt like the bizzare fairy-godmother to my early social development. Like that time Arnold was in the hospital and had a crush on his roommate but her dad (who otherwise seemed like a nice guy) was a racist. Everyone is sort of like, woah he sucks but he is still nice. What gives? And Mrs. Garrett, refusing to excuse his behavior, says “There’s nothing little about bigotry.” It’s a pun. But I was ten years old and totally like “Oh my GOD that is SO profound.”
And I still feel that way. Sure they’re often badly written, either totally implausible or entirely trite. But oh my gosh the feels. I can’t resist the feels.
The Anguish.
The Tears.
The Time Tootie Casually Saved a Teen from Sex Trafficking in a Diner.
I love it all. Each and every very special moment. And while they do not always make me cry, I’ve been known to spontaneously break down from the sheer social justice of it all. I mean the world really would be a better place if we all went to a school where Mrs. Garrett was going to make sure that we were all sensitive supportive people who did not get jealous of our cousin, a comedian with cerebral palsy, because she was getting more attention. Well, I promise it’s more generalizable than that one incident. Or if we lived in a world where people like Mr. Drummond really would just adopt a couple of orphans and then end up being awesome and dedicated parents.
Or just the touching reminder that someone out there has your back.
Today, I salute you very special episodes. Thanks for warming my heart. Now, I will go back to mocking you. Because I love you. Because that is how Millennials with blogs show love.
The Very Special Blog 