Girl Meets World aired their series finale last night. You all know how I feel about this show, so I may as well have called this post Girl Meets Good Riddance. But I am excited to post about it because this is finally the episode with the gigantic Boy Meets World reunion!! (Including both Morgan’s!! Cannot wait to see how they do that!)
The episode starts off with Maya asking Riley if Topanga has made a decision about taking a job in London (meaning the entire family will move away from New York City). Cory teaches some overbearing lesson to the class about “Belgium 1831” and how it’s all like what they’re going through (namely, what HIS kid is going through) right now. UGH these kids better not be Millennials. We don’t need anyone else accusing us of being self-centered like this! When were these children born? They better be in a different generation! (Ugh, crap. Apparently Millennials were born all the way until 2004. We’ll I’d just like to divest the late 80’s/early 90’s babies from that set, PLEASE.)
So Topanga assembles everyone important to her to bounce around some ideas. (This includes former school bully/current school janitor, Harley. And Minkus…who we didn’t even seen for the last several years of Boy Meets World, but I guess he’s kind of a big deal now because he’s Farkle’s dad.)
As far as both Morgan’s are concerned, they address them both as Morgan. Both as “their sisters.” This is horrible. I REALLY REALLY dislike this. Also, Mr. Turner isn’t even here. This episode super sucks. Oh wait, jk. He literally just walked through the door.
The only cool thing is you get to see Feeny and Eric talk. They’re still funny together. Also, Shawn announces he’s going to adopt Maya. Topanga is mad because she wants to talk about the job offer and she feels like they’re stealing her thunder. Uh, sorry Topanga. A kid just gained a dad today, you jerk.
The Morgan’s offer Cory and Topanga’s youngest kid some advice. They tag-team out mid conversation. This is weird. Maya is really sad and she says that Riley won’t leave because they belong together, but then Josh comes over to talk with all of them and Maya decides that life is replacing Riley with Josh (because she’s a self-centered person who gives a bad name to us older Millennials). They all say they hope to get to keep being themselves and blah blah blah.
Oh, whoops, guess what! Topanga decides they won’t move!! (So really they totally ripped off the end of That 70’s Show where they think they’ll sell the house and move but then they actually don’t. Is this a trope? How many other shows have done this?)
Ugh, now we’re back to Corey talking about “Belgium 1831” and how it applies to their small little lives again. Like seriously, there are like 5 kids in this class who ever cared about the move and the other 12 kids must be so pissed. If my kid had a teacher who taught around 5 kids, I would be calling the PTA like crazy. Cory must be really taking advantage of tenure.
Then there’s a flashback to Cory’s last monologue from Boy Meets World (to original Josh, who I think is the show creator’s son). Now, THAT was a good finale. And then we return to Girl Meets World. As they wrap up their chat inside Topanga’s bakery, a patron comes in and I am 99% sure that he is the grown up version of that OG Josh. By the way OG Josh is a lot older than replacement Josh. They like definitely aged that character down. And then that’s the end! This writing is so bad, it’s literally just the nostalgia factor that kept this show going. OMG it HAS to be. So yep, good riddance.
Anyhow, if you made it all the way end to this crappy post about a crappy show, tell me in the comments which Morgan you liked better on Boy Meets World. I’m team OG Morgan, Lily Nicksay.
It’s a dark and stormy night, as Cory sits at his desk in the suburbs of Philadelphia. He writes with a quill pen, stolen from his mother’s feather duster, carefully documenting his transformation from teenage boy to WEREWOLF. (cue 
The next day he’s hairier. Eric tell him that this could be the first signs of a werewolf transformation. He shows him a tabloid newspaper and Corey takes it seriously. After hearing about werewolf sitings on the radio, Cory seeks out the help of a medium. She mistakes him for Billy Joel at first, but she does confirm that Cory is well on his way to becoming a full-on wolf. She paints a picture of what’s to come:
Mr. Turner asks to see Cory after class. So Cory sits down on Mr. Turner’s desk and picks up his keys. I guess he feels more familiar since Mr. Turner is basically Shawn’s dad. Mr. Turner has a pentagon key chain, which Cory apparently thinks is the same thing as a pentagram. He runs away and bumps into Topanga, who says that she can tell him if something is wrong because she cares about him. OH NO!
Things reach a fever pitch when Cory asks his dad to throw a silver picture frame at him “really, really hard.” Cory’s dad tells him that he’s not turning into a werewolf and it’s probably just the beginning of puberty. But Cory resists and tells him that he’s definitely turning into a canine. His dad says maybe it’s time to start shaving and goes upstairs to get a razor. At which point, Cory looks at himself in the mirror and sees a werewolf staring back at him.
So now here we are, where we started, with Cory writing his manifesto in ink, using a piece of a feather duster. Topanga then shows up, ready to go to the Halloween party. Cory tries to get rid of her before the full moon rises. But Topanga is confused by his freakout and tells him that he’s perfectly normal and needs to chill the eff out. (I’m paraphrasing.)
Riley and the front-desk guy (Evan) are still talking on the window seat bench as the sunrises. Riley freaks out and says that her parents “can never know.” And then front desk guy says, “You can never know.” And then Cory and Topanga pop up from behind one of the ski lodge couches. Wait what?? This is is so creepy and I’m totally freaked out on behalf of Riley. I’ve heard of helicopter parents but this is some next level shit.
They too have stayed up all night talking. (Probably more like covertly whispering as they eavesdropped on their kid and her new friend.) They said they wanted to “see what the big deal was.” So Riley asks them how it was. And Topanga basically says it was great and now she likes Cory more. And so Cory says to Riley, “What about you, Riley. Is it a big deal?”
Alas, the only answer lies in the notorious book, “The Official Guide of Who Belongs With Who,” which Cory of course remembers from 20 years earlier. He urges them not to play, but for once these virtuous children do not listen to him. Good. This is getting more interesting. Also, this is the “next generation” edition of this book, so it’s not even the same one that Cory knows.
Eric to chaperone because I’m pretty sure that’s the only person I’m actually remotely interested in watching. But I guess Maya also knows she cannot date Josh since he’s an adult and she’s a child, and thus she and Riley both want to date Lucas. Ugh I don’t know. I don’t remember having a friendship where my best girlfriend and I both fell in love with our best boyfriend because I’m pretty sure friendships with those kind of stakes don’t usually last to long. But whatever. We should all know by now that this show isn’t very realistic.
I’m going into uncharted territory here, Very Special Readers! This post covers food-blogging. Is that what you call it? Or cooking blogging? Cooking is not something I know much about, but if anyone can pull me out of my blogging comfort-zone then it’s Jackée Harry and Betsy Randle.
What I would have made: TV Dinner with diced mushrooms mixed in. Spinach and Sour Cream pudding. (Maybe saying cooking was “not something I know much about” is 
Backstage: All of the moms are pretty disgusted that they had to use TV Dinners. Tichina hates this especially because she is competing for her Lupus charity and learned how to cook with fresh foods when her sister was diagnosed.
What they made:
holidays, and if you have the time you may be in the market for a seasonal job. And that’s how Cory ends up working for the mob.
Cory quits his job immediately and Shawn fills the vacancy. Shawn becomes so dedicated to his mob-job that he skips school to work longer shifts. “Jobs like this don’t come around very often,” he says. It turns out Shawn is of the high-risk teen population that would take a low-level position with the mob.
On Christmas Eve, the “restaurant owners” ask Shawn to deliver a box to a warehouse and bring back an envelope. They promise to find him “something a little more permanent” if he successfully completes this task. Cory meets Shawn at the warehouse and tries to get him to walk out on the middle of a job for the freaking-mafia. Are you trying to get him killed, Cory?? Also, are you stalking him? How did you find this sketch-ass warehouse? Do you even have a drivers license at this point??
No one really knows what to do, so Topanga approaches Stewart and tells him to make sure Corey isn’t kicked out of college or she will tell the dean that he behaved inappropriately. I feel like she could bypass Stewart on this one and just go straight to the dean, but anyway she gives him this ultimatum and he tells her he’s going to tell the dean that it was the other way around and Topanga was the aggressor. Ultimate douche bag.
Cory, Shawn, Topanga, Angela, and some dude named Kenny all get detention for being disruptive in class, but Feeny leaves them alone in the room because he doesn’t want to be stuck in detention too. However, he tells them that they are still “being watched.” Shawn tries to leave immediately after Feeny, but discovers they have all been locked in the classroom.
Then the lights go out and someone murders Kenny in like 1.5 seconds. That pretty much can only mean that one of our favorite cast members is a psychopath (probably the one standing closest to him) because who else could possible have had that opportunity? But he was also murdered with a pencil to the forehead, so I guess we’re assuming a lot of things are possible in this universe.
When the janitor ends up dead too, the group has to accept that the killer is one of them (which I knew ten minutes ago, geez.) But Topanga insists that there must be someone else in the building, so they leave Eric out as guard/bait while the rest of them hide in the classroom. Just then, Jennifer Love Hewitt shows up and she and Eric make out. (This was back when they were dating in real life.)
Angela and Jack die next, when the killer pushes them out of a window. Now only Cory, Topanga, and Shawn are left facing the killer. Shawn unmasks him and discovers his own face is under the mask. It’s like super trippy. Clearly, this is all just a dream. But Shawn’s obviously really enmeshed with Cory & Topanga. I guess we already knew that though. Also, that means that Shawn was dreaming about who out of his friends is/is not a virgin. The end!
I’m so late posting this, you’ve probably all read 70 reviews already. No, I’m the only one who reads that many reviews of one episode? Well, I’m hoping you have time for one more very special review of last night’s episode of Girl Meets World. But this post also has a very special guest star! My boyfriend, who so kindly critiqued this episode with me has allowed me to share his snarky thoughts as well.
Naturally, the only thing for Riley to do is imagine herself in the stories her parents tell her. That’s right folks, this is NOT A TIME TRAVEL EPISODE. It’s an imagination episode. And it consists of Riley observing her parents in two scenes. The first is where Cory and Topanga bond over shooting “baskets” with clean socks and a laundry basket. This leads Riley to believe she is a “goof” like her dad. But her mom is still perfect.
The Very Special Blog 