Girl Meets Squirrels

Eric Matthews arrived at John Quincy Adams Middle School last night, and let me just say it was THE BEST EPISODE EVER! I’m qualified to make this assumption because I have now seen five episodes total of this show.

Riley and Maya are having a fight over Riley not defending Maya when someone insulted her but the insult was true. It’s a classic case of truth vs. undying loyalty. Corey is in over his head, so he calls in his big bro, Eric–who shows up at the younger Matthews apartment in a shot-for-shot remake of the original Mr. Squirrels lollipop introduction.

Also, he holds balloons in Corey’s doorway and seems to have stolen the balloons from reunion party in Boy Meets World.

girl-meets-world-balloons

Eric is currently the mayor of a small town in upstate New York near border of Quebec. He dresses like Mr. Squirrels because that’s how his townspeople dress and it makes them more comfortable, supposedly. At this point in the show, I’m groaning a bit because I’m like ugh they’ve decided to perpetuate the stupid Eric trope of the latter years. 

Stupid Eric is exceedingly funny, but I always loved the charming thoughtful Eric years of his high school to early adult days, personally. I did enjoy his ridiculous behavior in the college years, but it was such a departure from his original character that my brain had trouble reconciling it.

Anyway, Eric does remove his Squirrels outfit and try to help the children work out their friendship issues. (Plays with Squirrels was classically helpful  with friendship, if you recall the original series). He comes to school with Corey the next day and is still full-on goofball, putting scotch tape on his face and forgetting what he’s said seconds before. My heart mourns for the loss of the sensitive, intuitive Eric we once knew.

girl-meets-world-hallwayWhen he orders the class out into the hallway to better discuss the issue of “friendship war,” Corey pulls him to the side and says that they joke around a lot, but he needs to know that Eric has this under control. Then the show gives me everything I’ve ever asked for and assumed as a viewer. It’s like a switch flips and Eric totally drops the act. He’s not stupid at all. It’s all some ridiculous act–the kind you see from people who really are too perceptive and intuitive for their own good–and he actually is the problem-solving thoughtful person we once knew. Sure, Eric is not an intellectual and never has been, but he knows how to be serious when the moment calls for it. The Eric we see at this point reminds me a lot of the Eric who told adorable little sixth grader Topanga that they couldn’t date in the most “let ’em down easy” kind of way I could imagine from a teenage boy.

As it turns out, Maya is constantly insulting cute-boy Lucas, and he finally retaliated by calling her a “short little stack of pancakes.” That to me sounds like bizarro middle school flirting, but she takes it to be the world’s greatest insult, and she’s pissed when Riley doesn’t stand up for her because she actually is short. I actually like the kids at this point because the whole class goes all “Breakfast Club” and Eric actually gives them the chance to work it out themselves. This show seems to have a lot of Corey unloading a lot of life lessons he’s already learned, so it was nice to see Eric let the kids figure it out for themselves…which was kind of the thing Boy Meets World excelled at.

Very Special Lesson: We’re still who we are, even when we seem not like ourselves. Eric is just the best. Also, if Girl Meets World continues on this track, I’ll have to give the writers more credit.

Very Special Question: Will we ever find out what happened to Topanga’s sister Nebula?

Girl Meets Mr. Feeny

“I both hate and love this show,” said my boyfriend as we sat down to watch THE MR. FEENY EPISODE! “I hate myself for watching it but would be totally crushed if it were canceled.” I don’t feel that strongly about it. I’d feel a sick satisfaction if it were canceled, but I also like getting to see the adult characters I love and bitch about the children.

In this episode, Corey plots to dig up the time capsule he and his friends buried fifteen years earlier in Mr. Feeny’s yard. He wears a miner’s headlight and makes a t-shirts that say “shovel,” which led the bf and I to discuss one day how we will have the disposable income to make ridiculous t-shirts and wear them around like people wear those shirts you get from a 5-k or a fundraiser but it will just be like some arbitrary thing that only four of our friends participated in and received a commemorative shirt for.

Corey also has a set of shovels (one for him and Topanga, duh). We soon realize that a third shovel is for Shawn, who rushes in thinking Corey is ill from the urgency of his phone call. When he sees all of the shovels on the wall (thinking it’s a matter of “life and death”) he assumes that Corey wants their help in digging his own grave. I laughed out loud. Anyway, someone mentions Angela while Shawn is talking to Corey’s daughter’s bff’s mom (apparently there’s some romance there). And the kids say that they must come on the trip as well.

Mr. Feeny finds them all digging up his yard, and then Maya and Riley attempt to do “the Feeny call.” HAVE THEY NO SHAME! You don’t irreverently yell in the face of an old man whom you have never met in a mockery of his name. You need to know someone and love someone forever before you get to yell in that person’s face in a mockery of that person’s name! Then they also oddly swat and/or hiss at him.


When they unpack the time capsule, Corey finds a love note that Topanga buried. At first, he thinks it’s a teenage confession of her love…but it turns out to be a note that she found from “Lauren” a.k.a. Linda Cardellini (who Corey cheated on Topanga with at a ski lodge). It turns out Topanga put the note in the capsule because she was immature and threatened, and hoped to one day be able to open the time capsule and tear up the note (which she does).

Maya gets all upset when Shawn reminisces about the items he and Angela put in the time capsule. Riley calls him a jerk. And Corey is all like Shawn she wants you to be her father figure! So then Shawn is all like Maya I’ll be your father figure either way! It’s a little forced, I think, but I also cherry-pick the episodes I view, so it could make more sense to a regular viewer.

We only got to see Mr. Feeny for like 12 seconds, but it looks like they’re finally giving Topanga more screen time. Eric will be in tomorrow’s episode! Yay!

GIrl Meets World: The Shawn Episode

Agh where do I even start? This is the 3rd episode of this show that I have ever watched While it was way better than the other two, it once again demonstrated that it totally fails at having organic heartfelt moments. It seems like Girl Meets World is all about WE ARE HAVING A BIG HEARTFELT MOMENT RIGHT NOW whereas Boy Meets World was just awesome and that is frankly all that I can say about this in terms of a critical in-depth analysis. This show is just so obviously forced and superficial that there is nothing else to say about it. Screen Shot 2014-12-07 at 3.53.10 PM

Except that Rider Strong has made a guest appearance and we need to talk about that. It’s Christmas Eve and Amy, Alan, and their son Josh are visiting, but Corey is most excited about Shawn coming over. Josh is the ridiculous fourth child that Amy and Alan produced in what was (I think) the last season of the original show. The writers clearly had nothing else to do with their characters, so they used a plot tool…ugh. But they did cast a cute actor to portray older Josh and his entire job is just to be “cool.” That makes sense to me continuity wise because two older parents raising a fourth surprise baby are probably pretty chill.

Screen Shot 2014-12-07 at 4.34.31 PMBut something that does feel like a bit of a failure to me is that Amy is a total jerk to Topanga form the get-go of this episode. I know that Boy Meets World has committed some egregious character continuity errors over the years, but Amy was always like the best boyfriend’s mom/mother-in-law I could possibly imagine. Even when Topanaga stayed with them in high school and virtually destroyed all of their Christmas traditions, Amy was incredibly cool about it. But in the present day, all she can do it criticize Topanga’s cooking. Like come on people, why can’t we see Amy being cool Grandma with the kids? Why does she have to be a jerk? (Eventually, we learn that Amy is being awful because she misses having Christmas in Philly and feels useless or something like that but whatever.)

So I’ve hated the “girl Shawn character” from the first moment she showed up. But now I extra-super-mega-hate her because she’s so clearly a plot device and also because she is obnoxious. Shawn shows up and like doesn’t know how to talk to children. He talks to Josh who is like only four years older than Corey’s daughter, but apparently those four years are the difference between Shawn being able to form a sentence and well…being rude I guess. But like Shawn isn’t actually rude. You know what he is? He’s your dad’s friend who comes over for dinner and is clearly into hanging out with your dad. And that is totally okay because he is your dad’s friend. Like what thirteen year old girl is offended that a thirty-five year old man won’t hang out with her? That’s messed up. Screen Shot 2014-12-07 at 4.11.53 PM

But anyway obnoxious friend gets all plot device-y and accuses Shawn of hurting Riley (the daughter) with his lack of interaction. Then they dramatically leave the room all very special moment like and Shawn is left sitting on a window seat with Cory, thinking about his actions. Then in another scene they wake Shawn up from a nap (rude) and demand to know why he doesn’t like Riley. He’s all like what is wrong with you weird kids? I like Riley just fine. And then Riley demands that he tell her when her birthday is and what her favorite color is as if he is some bad middle school boyfriend. Like when would you ever talk to your dad’s friend like this? And what kind of parent would allow this level of disrespect? But like Cory is all calm and don’t worry Riley, Shawn knows your b-day. And then Riley gets all like offended and doesn’t believe him, so Shawn takes her and the obnoxious friend to a bakery where he tells them about Riley’s birthday. (December 8th. Tomorrow. I won’t be celebrating.) Riley’s birthday was also the day that Shawn left NYC for good.

Screen Shot 2014-12-07 at 4.25.33 PMThen Riley and her obnoxious friend proceed to armchair analyze Shawn in front of his face, and then Riley forces him to look at her. (Ugh this girl would be like the worst girl to date in middle school because look at how she behaves with grown men! Can you imagine if you forgot to cover her locker with wrapping paper for her birthday?) Then she says, “Every time you see me, does it remind you of what you don’t have?” SO OUT OF LINE, MAN! I imagine this is supposed to be some “from the mouth of babes” shit but like no way dude. This is so inappropriate.

After this ridiculousness, they go back home where Riley proceeds to force a bunch of heart to heart chats first between her father and Shawn and then between her obnoxious friend and Shawn (since they’re the same person or whatever). No actual kid has this much authority. And kids that do have an inappropriate amount of authority end up being drug addicts or assholes.

Very Special Lesson: Do not ever watch this show. Except for when WIll Friedle makes his guest appearance. We should all watch the Will Friedle episode.

The producers wanted you to see this.
The producers wanted you to see this.