Dinosaurs: Steroids to Heaven

March 15, 2016March 15, 2016 ~ theveryspecialblog ~ 4 Comments

Over the past (nearly two!) years, we’ve covered a lot of highly sensitive topics. And thanks to the power of television, I think we’ve become better people along the way.

I mean what you were doing when you saw your lunchbox turn into a parrot before you had this blog to turn to for answers, huh?

Thankfully, we’ve had each other to lean on when life throws unexpected curve balls, but now I’d like to talk to you about a very important topic that we haven’t yet covered on The VSB: performance enhancing drugs.

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I personally thought the more pertinent topics of how to avoid witches while babysitting or how to respond when your boyfriend tries to sell your out-of-wedlock baby to some creepy baby broker when you’re just an average high school student to be the more pressing topics that America’s youth needs answers to! But I’m not above admitting when I’m wrong, and Maria Sharapova’s recent revelation tells me that we should have talked about this a lot sooner. Which brings us to today’s episode, “Dinosaurs: Steroids to Heaven.”

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Dinosaurs was a weird little show that I thought was hilarious as a kid, but as an adult it mostly strikes me as creepy and weird. Dinosaurs was a traditional family sitcom, aside from the fact that the lead characters were puppets from the Jurassic age. It was kind of like The Flintstones meets Home Improvement, I guess.

I bet you’re thinking, what’s a show like this doing with a very special episode? Well, in the 90’s even dinosaur puppets were busy scaring America’s youth straight.

Robbie is the teenage son of this dinosaur family. He’s not doing so well with the ladies, and he feels like his lack of muscle tone is probably to blame for this. As his father tells him, “Chicks dig big guys.” Well, that’s news to me as a proverbial chick. And also it’s pretty terrible parenting. So Robbie decides to start pumping iron in the hope of transforming his “geekphysique” into that of a body builder.

But he doesn’t transform as quickly as he’d like. That’s when his friend, Spike, tells him about “thornoids.” Thornoids are these really terrifying creatures that look a lot like Gremlins (the wet kind). Robbie eats these Gremlin-like creatures and starts looking like the Arnold Schwarzenegger of dinosaurs.
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It doesn’t take long for the ‘roid rage to take hold because Robbie punches his romantic rival while they’re both trying to ask the cool dinosaur lady to the dance. Also, he’s starting to exhibit another unpleasant side-effect of Thornoids: he’s growing spikes…which actually seems like kind of an advantage in the dino-world…

But things quickly go downhill from here. He gets mad that his sister left a mess in the bathroom sink, so he picks up the sink and tosses it out the window. He even breaks his baby brother’s rattle. (Do be fair his baby brother is incredibly rude and the most obnoxious part of this show. He’s like a really, really lame version of Stewie from Family Guy.)

94a95956bfc2a802fc515b0d6837bcc5 — But at one point in time, people liked him enough to buy a talking doll of Baby Sinclair.

He ends up on a terrible date with the cool lady dinosaur and comes to realize that the reason she never went out with him pre-Thornoids is that he never asked her. Omg. Seriously? She liked him before he had muscles and now she doesn’t like him (because of the ‘roid rage, understandably).

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So what does it take for Robbie to finally see that he’s headed down the wrong path? His spikes get so big that he accidentally gets stuck to a wall of lockers. I guess the Thornoids don’t make him strong enough to push himself off of the lockers, but whatever. His best friend gives him a lecture about the dangers of cheating on your body building.

By the next morning, the Thornoids have worn off and he’s back to normal. Except for a massive headache from his “Thornoid Hangover.” He then apologizes to his dad and offers to help him move the refrigerator (which he refused to do when he had tons of muscles and it would have been a lot easier, but that’s what Thornoids will do to you).

Very Special Lesson: Don’t eat weird spiky prehistoric creatures. I think that’s all something we can get behind, right?

Lethal Weapon: The TV Series???

March 12, 2016March 12, 2016 ~ theveryspecialblog ~ Leave a comment

In order to get the proper mood of this post, please play this in the background while reading.

Some jerk decided it would be a good idea to reboot my 2nd favorite Christmas Movie (the first being Die Hard) as a TV series. And they’ve just announced the casting for Riggs (a.k.a. Mel Gibson).

The 21st Annual Critics' Choice Awards - Red Carpet — Who is this Clayne Crawford and can we trust his mustache?

I’m told that this is the Golden Age of television, so why aren’t we thinking of better ideas, people??

I know, Mel Gibson turned out to be a crazy racist, but there once was a time when he was just a crazy cop with a slight hint of an Australian accent. I mean this is lightening in a bottle people, you don’t just re-boot that.

I know, I know you’re all thinking, “Calm down it’s not like they’re remaking Braveheart.” Well, I wasn’t allowed to see Braveheart. My mom made me go upstairs and play in my room with the door shut for three hours when she purchased it on pay-per-view. I wasn’t allowed to see the Lethal Weapon movies either, but you couldn’t keep me from the dulcet tones of that late-80’s light jazz sax for long. (Yet somehow I still feel like I’m not allowed to watch Braveheart.)

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This isn’t Mad Max–a remake I was totally pumped for and that far surpassed my expectations. Lethal Weapon is really just a buddy cop drama mixed with the pain of losing your soulmate (and bouncing back with the help of said buddy-cop). Point being, there’s not a lot to re-imagine here.

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Plus, the Mel Gibson/Danny Glover pairing put all other buddy-cop pairings to shame. I can say this with a lot of confidence because I’ve seen a lot of buddy-cop movies and the only thing that came close to this awesome-ness was Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy in The Heat. And that was for like entirely different reasons. (Admittedly, I did not see all of Turner and Hooch but that’s because I just cannot handle that much slobber.)

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Actually, that’s a reebot I could get behind. Can we get Tom Hanks and a less-slobbery dog on board to replace this Lethal Weapon reboot. I would watch Tom Hanks solve crimes with a dog on a weekly basis.

Me and My Friends are Jem Girls!

March 10, 2016March 10, 2016 ~ theveryspecialblog ~ 6 Comments

Tonight on a Very Special Episode of the The Very Special Blog, I will be reviewing MAKEUP! What?? I’ve watched some videos on how to do this and if I was going to do it the right way, I would be sitting at an all white vanity while dub step played in the background.

But I took note of the steps and I think we can do this the low-tech way.

Step 1: Introduce the Product
I have a feeling we can thank that terrible “Jem and the Holograms” movie for this product line, but I don’t care. I haven’t been this excited to purchase lipstick since I was matching my Tinkerbell lipstick to my stick on earrings. And then I saw this little nugget of joy on the Sephora website for only $10.

I’m guessing real “Beauty Bloggers” do not use stovetops as the backdrop for product shots.

Step 2: Unpack the Product
The lipstick is called “Truly Outrageous” and, in classic Jem style, it’s hot pink.

It also has a branded top, which excited me way more than I’m willing to admit…and of course Sephora co-branded the lipstick on the side.

Step 3: Demonstrate the product
This is the part of makeup videos that’s always kind of lost on me. Maybe it’s because all of the presenters have either peaches-and-cream or golden-olive skin tones. Nevertheless, here is a “swatch” of “Truly Outrageous” on my pasty-white arm:

I’d say it’s highly-pigmented, yet not as intense as you might think from looking at it. But still, it’s hard to truly identify the color and what it might look like on your skin tone, so on a scale of Madonna’s Material Girl Dress

to Frenchie’s Hair

I’d rate it at about these shoes:
…which by the way look a little dangerous.

Anyway, here’s the lipstick on my lips (which are statistically not the same color as your lips, but for $10 and a piece of pop culture, who cares?) It glides on smoothly and is non-drying. It’s definitely not long-lasting but it doesn’t rub off too easily either. All in all, the wear is pretty average. And it’s definitely something you’d wear for the fun of it, not the practicality at all. I plan to wear it to work when I anticipate having a hard day.

It could be the poor quality of my iPhone photo or the weird lighting in my bathroom, but do I detect a hint of Jem sparkle?

The Only Interesting Moments in Fuller House

February 29, 2016February 28, 2016 ~ theveryspecialblog ~ 1 Comment

Don’t watch this. I know I said that I would review al of the episodes, but I can’t. I played it in the background while I did other things. Doing my dishes and catching up on data entry for work were far, far more interesting than paying full-attention to this show.

But there were a few bright spots and I’ll list them all below. You can just read this list and it will be like you actually watched the show because, outside of this list, nothing happened:

DJ became a Mexican Wrestling Champion
Stephanie gave Danny a sports coat that matched the couch’s upholstery because he is weirdly obsessed with the couch.
Stephanie can’t have kids. This was a weirdly dramatic moment in a show that is otherwise full of corny jokes. Jodie Sweetin and Candace Cameron Bure did a fine job with the scene, but it felt so out of place with the tone of the rest of the series.
DJ got a cute new boyfriend. He’s another veterinarian at her practice.
Harry Takayama guest starred and Stephanie wanted to date him, but then he turned out to be engaged.
Stephanie dated Hunter Pence from the SF Giants. But she was a jinx. He couldn’t get a hit until she broke up with him (under duress) as the crowd boo-ed her as she attempted to sing “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” during the 7th-inning stretch.
DJ made out with Steve while dating the cute new guy (which makes no sense because Steve is now a creep and cute new guy is cool). But then Steve was at the Giants game (the same one where the crowd boo-ed Stephanie) and saw DJ kiss the cute new guy on the kiss cam. He freaked out. Cute guy was similarly not pleased.
There is a cute moment with Steve, Cute Guy, DJ, Kimmy, and Stephanie comenting on a flash back of Steve and DJ at the prom. But it’s like they’re all imagining the flashback as Steve tells the story. I thought that was kinda cute. I love when storytelling mediums mix!
Steve and the cute new guy kiss. It’s really dumb and an accident but the studio audience loved it. Like there was some serious cheering over the laugh track.
Everyone does a perfectly choreographed Bollywood dance.
Steve and DJ dress up like their 90’s selves and pretend that they’re Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore in Ghost, except they’re making hamburger patties instead of pottery…it’s every bit as weird as it sounds.
Joey officiates Becky and Jesse’s vow renewal on inline skates, wearing a hockey jersey, and a holding a hockey stick.
Jesse hit Mr. Woodchuck over the head with a hockey stick.
DJ didn’t chose between Scott or cute new guy. And they both seemed okay with it.

I feel like there will probably not be a season two of Fuller House…but if there is and they FINALLY revive “Girl Talk,” I will cover it. Otherwise, I will most like steer clear.

Fuller House: Moving Day and Funner House

February 27, 2016March 12, 2016 ~ theveryspecialblog ~ Leave a comment

ep2 In this episode, DJ promises Kimmy’s daughter that she can have her own room, forcing Jackson to move-in with his little brother–kind of like DJ and Stephanie moving in together once Jesse moved in.

Speaking of Jesse, John Stamos shows up and over hears Stephanie giving Jackson an “inspirational” talk. While he’s busy telling her what an amazing job she did with teaching the kid a valuable lesson, Jackson sneaks down the stairs (presumably to run away where he can live alone). As it turns out, Jackson sneaks into the backseat of Jesse’s LA-bound car. stamos

Meanwhile, Stephanie and Kimmy don’t realize that they’ve lost a kid. (DJ has left them in charge while she takes care of a veterinarian emergency.) She comes home after getting a text from Jackson–Jesse discovered him in the car and no-doubt forced him to text his mom. And she’s all ticked off and calls a family meeting. And then they like decide to get along? I don’t know…this was literally the entire episode and I’m not really sure what the point was. This show is so, so bad. It makes Full House seem like cutting-edge comedy.

Very Special Lesson (according to DJ): Respect, Compromise, and Honesty.

Best Joke/Only Kind-Of Good Joke: “I changed so many of Michelle’s diapers, I feel like there were two of her.”

So in a Very Special Blog first, I’m combining two episodes into one post because “Moving Day” was the most boring thing on Earth. So this is “Funner House” and let’s hope that it lives up to that title:
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Also, this is my last episode unless things get much better immediately. I know I said I would review all of these, but I am not a masochist. It’s fun to review things that are ridiculous, but I’m not down to talk about something that’s just plain boring.

Anyway, it is “girls night” so Kimmy, Stephanie and DJ go to a club, where they pick up Val and Maks Chmerkovskiy from Dancing with the Stars and decide to do some tequila shots. This is something that would not have happened on Full House and I’m interested to see how this plays out.

Then Macy Gray shows up! Where has she been? I missed her. This was my jam in 2000:

Apparently, Stephanie and Macy are like BEST friends. Um, but they only talk for 30 seconds. Wait, did Macy Gray literally just make a cameo on Fuller House?

In some kind of attempt to make Kimmy’s ex jealous (oh yeah, he’s at the club by the way), Stephanie and Macy Gray sing “Time of My Life” from Dirty Dancing while Kimmy and DJ dance kind of like Romy and Michele. It’s actually quite adorable and not nearly as awkward as whatever this was:

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Also, if that’s really Jodie Sweetin singing, then we need to give Stephanie Tanner way more screen time. I’d rather hear her sing for 3 minutes each episode and not have to listen to as many stupid jokes.

Finally, Kimmy & DJ and Kimmy’s-Ex & His Lady Friend are the only couples left in the dance-battle. It all comes down to the final lift. Luckily, Val and Maks are there to jump in when DJ obviously cannot catch Kimmy. And it’s a perfect landing.

Best Joke: Kimmy’s Ex-Husband (to DJ while dancing)- “You’re way out of your league.”
DJ: “For your information, I’m in a league. A bowling league.”

Okay, this still sucks but it was definitely watchable. I legit enjoyed whatever that weird dance was. If you’re looking for the nostalgia factor then watch 1 and 3 and definitely don’t waste any time at all on episode 2.

P.S. The B-plot of this episode was Joey and the three kids having a full on silly string and slime war. So actually, I don’t think I hate Joey. But I do hate that woodchuck.

Fuller House: Our Very First Show, Again

February 26, 2016March 12, 2016 ~ theveryspecialblog ~ Leave a comment

24920113 It’s been 29 years and 90 seconds into this show and I still want to punch Joey in the face. He’s wearing a onesy and already doing some kind of weird voice that is somewhat reminiscent of the wood chuck. Or is the wood chuck? I don’t know.

We see all of the original adults first before we meet the “new adults” (a.k.a. the “old kids”). Here’s what they are up to:
-Joey is doing absolutely nothing (okay actually he’s doing comedy at the Venetian and “kicking Carrot Top’s butt.” Great. Now, I hate Joey even more because Carrot Top is one of my biggest fears, we’re talking actual NIGHTMARES that this dude has haunted in my life. And Joey has just reminded me all over again!)
-Rebecca and Danny are about to start hosting a nationally syndicated morning talk show in LA
-Jesse is going to be in charge of music for General Hospital (hah John Stamos on General Hospital hahaha so clever. Gag me with a spoon.)

Then DJ and Stephanie start taking over the show and want to know where Michelle is. Their dad says she’s too busy running her fashion empire and then everyone stares down the camera. Talk about an incredibly weird way to break the fourth-wall. It’s so awkward.

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So here’s what the new adults are up to:
-DJ Tanner is a veterinarian
-Stephanie is a musician (called it). Actually, she’s a dj called “DJ Tanner.” Uh, okay.
-Kimmy is really weird and I’m not really sure what her job is but she’s like talking about not having ever dropped acid but having once taken an antacid…what? I don’t know but she’s actually for once less annoying than Stephanie who will NOT stop doing a really terrible fake British accent for what, I believe, is meant to be comedy.

Then Kimmy Gibbler puts her feet on the table and Steph says, “How rude!” I’d like to give her props for very naturally making a catch phrase happen again after 20 years, but mostly I’m just realized that this has “snapped” her out of her British accent. (So apparently it wasn’t “fake” and she was stuck in it because of all her her time spent in England…omg…)

The best part of this show is the credits. Carly Rae Jepsen is amazing AS ALWAYS! And the opening credits for the new leads are super adorable. The opening credits for the old leads are split screen shots of them doing exactly what they did 20 years ago in the opening credits, next to the original opening credits from 20 years ago. So basically you get to see how much Lori Loughlin and John Stamos have not aged at all–Bob Saget and Dave Coulier…well they look a bit different…

Anyway, everyone goes to the party that DJ Tanner (Stephanie) is dj-ing it, except for Joey. He needs to prove his usefulness, so he stays home with infant Tommy.

OMG IT’S THAT DAMN WOODCHUCK. He stayed home so he could play with that damn woodchuck! Also, is that a wedding band on Joey’s finger? Someone married that dude? Hm…

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Tommy is now sobbing because the woodchuck is terrifying. I mean, your instincts are dead on, kid. I too think this is horrible, and even more so if I was an infant with a 55 year old man I barely knew crouched by my crib with a GIANT puppet and using a creepy-voice-from-hell to make the woodchuck “talk.”

Oh wait…the party is in the living room? So yeah, everyone gets to go to the party. Once Joey is done terrifying the baby, even he goes to the party. Kimmy’s ex-husband stops by to drop of their child (Ramona). He’s pretty hot and still really into Kimmy and no one can understand why. Apparently, she’s really good in bed. Well, good for her. It’s high time that Kimmy Gibbler found her niche.

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Steph plays New Kids on the Block and all of the girls get excited before they even know what song it is. Luckily, it’s “The Right Stuff”–the only New Kids song worth getting excited about. But then they stop it after 30 seconds, so I guess this show couldn’t afford the full royalties and had to settle for the public use sample.

DJ’s ex boyfriend shows up and tells THE RECENT WIDOW that he’s ready to start dating again whenever she’s ready??????? He says it nicely but this is so madly inappropriate. But he does explain how they get their new puppy. Apparently, he’s the owner of a pregnant Comet Jr, jr.

I know I called this too, but I didn’t think it would happen quite so soon.
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Jesse and Becky’s kids are kind of cute now. And they’re not trying to force them in front of the camera now that they’re adults, so I don’t really hate them anymore.

Then they all make Jesse sing “Forever” and the entire party sings backup in perfect harmony. But then Bob Saget takes over and sings “Wild Thing,” which is actually the funniest thing to happen on Fuller House to date. (I should mention that it’s not that funny, but luckily this is only the first episode).

When DJ is giving Steve all of the leftover food from the party, he takes this as another opportunity to mention that they should be together. He even (badly) sings “Forever” to her and says he should have asked her to marry him at the prom.
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Anyway, in case you are still at all interested, Steve is a divorced podiatrist. And we also learn that Kimmy has apparently been spying on a naked Danny from her 2nd story window for years. I could have done without knowing that.

So then Comet Jr, jr. has her puppies and DJ has to help birth them. The biggest difference in the setup of the original show vs. the new show is that DJ refuses to ask for help. Danny knew he was overwhelmed and called in a favor from his friends/family. But DJ feels that she’s responsible and has to do everything herself–ah, the struggles of being a woman.

But the family overhears her crying and talking to Tommy on the baby monitor, so Danny decides to give up his talk show and stay and help. Actually, all the adults agree to help. And Joey is wayyyy to ready to move back in. But Jesse still wants to live in LA hah. Steph and Kimmy decide to stay and help out even though DJ says she’s fine. Steph tells the original adults that it’s the younger adults’ responsibility now and they should live their own LA lives. And thus, there is Fuller House!
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This acting is a bit stilted. The original leads are strong as ever, but they’ve been acting ever since the first show ended. Jodi Sweetin is probably the strongest of the new leads, but Candace Cameron Bure is most comfortable when directly relating to the kids on the show. Since she’s a mom in real life, I’m guessing this is the more natural acting for her. But she might fall back into it. Andrea Barber is still funny, but she admitted that she hasn’t acted in a while and felt a bit rusty…I mean you can kind of tell but we’ll see how it goes.

Also, DJ’s middle son (who is basically a mini Danny Tanner) is the only kid who I find entertaining at this point. There’s some kind of mild flirtation happening between Ramona and Dj’s oldest son, whatever his name is. But otherwise, I feel like they don’t have characters yet.

Oh well, I enjoyed this more than Girl Meets World.

Very Special Movie: Troop Beverly Hills

February 21, 2016March 12, 2016 ~ theveryspecialblog ~ 7 Comments

mv5bmtyymjazntg0nf5bml5banbnxkftztcwnju1mtazmq-_v1_sy317_cr20214317_al_ It’s girl scout cookie season, so I felt like this would be the perfect time to pay a visit to a movie that is near and dear to my heart.

For those of you that have managed to never see this movie (omg, you can rent it on iTunes for $2.99. Go, I’ll wait.) You’re not really going to stop reading this and watch the movie? Fine, your loss.

The Basics– Shelley Long (Diane from Cheers) is going through a divorce with Craig T. Nelson (Coach from Coach) and she’s pretty much lost her place in life because of it. By the way, she has insanely red hair in this movie, like so red it must have been the inspiration for Valerie Cherish’s hair. But I think that’s supposed to make her kind-of resemble her daughter (introducing Jenny Lewis). In order to be more present in her daughter’s life, she becomes the troop leader for the Beverly Hills branch of “The Wilderness Girls.” It’s a fish out of water story but it’s also a coming-of-age story–not the kind of “coming of age” you do when you’re a kid but the kind that happens when you’re an adult and you realize that you need to re-learn how to be an adult. In short, it’s awesome. Why is this not an Oscar winning film??

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I mentioned the divorce above, but it’s so much worse than that. Basically Craig T. Nelson is no longer in love with Shelley Long because she didn’t turn out to meet his expectations of who he expected her to be when they got married like over a decade ago. So he’s a jerk. But she’s also mad at him because she supported him all through law school and he ended up being a muffler salesman.

Poor Jenny Lewis is the most mature person in her family. Her mother wakes her up in the middle of the night to ask her about the woman entering the guest house (where her father is staying during the divorce). Yuck. But Jenny is all cool about it and tells her mom to stop spying on her dad and the realtor (who it turns out he is dating but we don’t know that just yet…) jenny-1cut

But you have to hand it to Shelley Long, she’s really dedicated to making this Wilderness Girl thing work for her kid–even if that means camping out beneath the Hollywood sign. Or more like “glamping out.” This movie may actually have invented glamping. Right after they finish their fondue and are about to start making espresso over the campfire, it starts to pour buckets of rain all over their campsite. What’s a Wilderness Girl to do?
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Check in to the Beverly Hills Hotel and tell the best campfire story ever:

But it’s not all easy for Shelley. I mean sure, she’s got to learn how to help those kids earn some badges but that would be a lot easier without the regional director trying to ruin everything for her. She’s a crabby ex-army nurse who doesn’t like that the Beverly Hills troop isn’t earning dumb traditional badges.
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But earn badges for tying knots and first aid when you could earn your badges for:
-Jewelry Appraisal
-Dancing the Freddy
-Divorce Court
-Shopping
-International Affairs (Laundering Money & Crushing Revolutions)
-Sushi Appreciation
-Gardening with Glamor
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But then it all comes down to the final Jamboree. And that’s the real woods, people. She almost bails but the girls tell her that they need her and they have to follow through on this. So it’s quite literally a game of survival for them now since all they’ve haven’t really earned any of the badges that prepare you for dealing with nature. And on top of all that, they’ve got these really annoying Culver City Red Feathers to deal with.
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But it turns out that with a little ingenuity and extra-motivation from having to out-run a skunk, even a sad soon-to-be divorcee from Beverly Hills can learn how to navigate the woods.

Very Special Lesson: This is an inspirational film. And not the kind that requires you to have a special skill (see: any movie about athletes, musicians, prodigies of any kind) or tons of money in which to start a foundation (The First Wives Club). But I watch this movie and think, “Hey, I too could one day be a troop leader and inspire tons of young girls without having to spend too much time experiencing nature.” Thank you, Shelley Long. You’ve inspired me more than you’ll ever know.

Stay tuned next weekend as I trudge through every episode of Fuller House. Wish me luck! I hope I don’t OD on very special lessons!

The Best and Worst of Fuller House’s New Trailer

February 9, 2016February 9, 2016 ~ theveryspecialblog ~ 8 Comments

If you haven’t seen it, check it out below. A LOT is going on.

I think it’s plain to see that this is going to be awful. And I am so freaking excited. But some parts of this look worse than others, so let me go ahead and break it down for you:

The Worst
-Steve. I was excited for him to return to the show, but then I saw him in this preview and I remembered why that episode where DJ breaks up with him on the mountain is so oddly satisfying.
-Kimmy being “stuck in the 90’s.” This better be a one-off gag in a bottle episode because a reboot character being “stuck” in the decade of the original series makes me want to vom all over the place.
-The three boys and one is a baby thing. Yep, I find this “major premise of the show” to be one of the worst parts of the reboot. Not only is this the same number of kids/adults but opposite gender roles from the original cast but they’re all like exactly the same age! Like wtf are the odds that your spouse dies at roughly the same age as your father’s spouse and you just so happen to have an infant and two older children roughly the age of you and your sisters when your mother died. That is NOT a universe I want to live in. I dunno…was that coherent? I just got back from a work even in which there was a surprise round of tequila shots, so I’m not editing for coherency right now…but could they not at least make the kids different ages?? Like maybe one’s a toddler and one’s in high school?

The Best
-Carly Rae Jepsen’s revitalized “Everywhere You Look” theme song. But I’m not surprised. She’s awesome. And “Call Me Maybe” is and will always be my car’s favorite song.
-Stephanie Tanner being a badass. She’s the only one of the main characters who lands all of her jokes in the trailer. Plus, is that a Stephanie Tanner dance performance I see?
-John Stamos. This should come as a surprise to know one. This man is television gold.

I’m on the fence about
-the catch phrases…
I want to gouge my eyes out every time I see Joey do the stupid “cut it out” hand motion. And calling “Michelle” at 5 am EST to yell “You got it dude” into her voicemail is the worst thing I’ve ever heard. But the whole John Stamos/Jodie Sweetin catchphrase exchange was very adorable and it didn’t feel forced at all (ahem, Dave Coulier you can just cut it the f*** out, thank you very much).

The Very Best
-Kimmy Gibler’s earrings at 0:37 and that bacon and eggs scarf at 1:03. Etsy friends, can you hook me up with one or both of these?

The Very Best TLC Song

February 6, 2016 ~ theveryspecialblog ~ 5 Comments

Usually, I have no problem making sweeping, definitve statements about subjects with relatively little real world value. Some might even say that’s the entire reason for this blog’s existence.

But I’ve tried to resolve this myself and I’ve reached an impasse. I need your help with this one. I’ve narrowed it down to my top 4 favorite TLC songs. And I’d really really like for you to tell me which TLC song is your personal favorite.

Your “Very Best TLC Song,” so to speak.

Creep

Unpretty

No Scrubs

Waterfalls

So which one is your favorite?

Why now? Why TLC? Why are you incapable of making this decision on your own? Well, I’ve been doing a lot of data entry at work. And I’ve found that pretty much the only way that I can do this is to mainline Milli Vanilli. Yep, that’s right. I enjoy Milli Vanilli and I’m saying it right here loud and clear on the world wide web.

But when you’ve been listening to two model/dancers ~~sing~~ mouth-the-words-to as much bubblegum pop as I have, you start to doubt that you are able to discern levels of quality anymore. Basically, I’ve fallen down the rabbit hole of kitsch and I’m not sure I can pull myself out of it alone. If you’ve read this far down the post without taking the poll, please scroll back up to the poll-area and cast your vote. Think of this as my pop-culture cry for help.

I’m going to link this to the daily prompt even though I don’t really think I wrote this “as if I were a music critic.” I’m just opportunistic and I’m taking the chance to post about TLC.

3 Things We Learned from the new Fuller House Teaser

January 16, 2016 ~ theveryspecialblog ~ 1 Comment

With little over a month to go before the big premiere, Netlfix is dropping a few more hints about what the Tanner Family has been up to over the past couple of decades.

-Stephanie has continued to follow her Uncle Jesse’s musical footsteps. Maybe. (You can see Danny carrying a box that says “Stephanie’s Music Fragile.” What kind of instruments fit in that little box and are fragile? Or are her compositions written on fragile parchment paper? Is she only recording on vinyl and wants to be sure no one drops the box? But I replayed this like 22 times and finally heard Jodie Sweetin say, “It’s my rare records.” So maybe she’s not a musician…or is she?)
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-Joey still has that dumb puppet. (Kimmy has a box labeled Mr. Woodchuck and Joey’s like all excited to bring out that godforsaken puppet. Why are they unpacking it? Is Mr. Woodchuck moving in with the Tanner girls & Kimmy? I hope not. Maybe they’re going through the attic while move in? I’m not going to watch Mr. Woodchuck, guys. I will NOT.)
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-Kimmy Gibbler has become a lot more normal. Throughout this entire promo she’s in normal-mom mode. And none of the Tanner-Katsopolis-Gladstone adults seem to mind her like they used to. Is Kimmy all good with the family now or are they just distracted by moving? Will everyone still think she’s annoying except for DJ?

I have so many questions! I don’t know if I can wait until February! I hope this is one of those things that they “accidentally” release early and that I happen to be on Netflix when that happens.