MacGyver: Black Rhino

I have to be honest, were it not for “Blogging from A to Z” I would be doing nothing but binge watching Kimmy Schmidt and eating ice cream right now. But instead I am watching MacGyver and eating ice cream. And yes, I’m largely upset because of MacGyver’s hair in this episode. I’m all about MacGyver’s 1985 hair but I just want nothing to do with his 1989 hair.

This is badass:
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This is bad:
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So in this episode MacGyver goes to Africa. And how could we possible transition white people from North America to Africa? Like 3 straight minutes of Lady Blacksmith Mambazo playing over scenes of an ORV (I see you 80’s) driving through an animal reserve. Oh and by the way, just in case you thought you were watching National Geographic instead of CBS:Screen Shot 2016-04-15 at 6.57.28 PM

Yes, this is a very special episode about poachers. My apologies. But I think this might be the most modern of our VSEs because idiots are still going to Africa on the regular and being jackasses. Naturally, MacGyver learns about this poaching issue and can’t help but get involved. After he watches a conservationist shoot a mortally wounded animatronic rhino to put it out of its horn-poached misery, MacGyver all but gives up on searching for the missing guy he’s in Africa to find and dedicates all of his time and energy to conservation efforts.

Also, Cuba Gooding, jr. is in this episode, so that’s a pleasant surprise. (sorry, just took a break to watch this Midnight Special performance featuring, Cuba Gooding, sr. But I’m back now).

Oh my gosh, I apologize. I’m not really following this episode but now apparently some poachers are attempting to hang Cuba Gooding, jr.? Ohhh oh my gosh, so Cuba is the dude that MacGyver has been looking for. And luckily, he shows up to save him from the hanging! Wow, like thank God for dramatic timing or this episode could have taken a much different turn.

K so now I’m back in the game. Cuba is trying to track down a major poacher and has gotten pretty close to finding him. He says his written every records office in Africa and asked for anything that had to do with this poacher. Two thoughts: 1. He wrote an entire continents worth of public agencies?? 2. This well connected poacher didn’t catch on to this one dude asking around after him??

MacGyver discovers that the poachers are hiding granulated rhino horn in sugar packets. MacGyver discovers this by tasting it. Ia want to puke everywhere ewww. Guys, no. No. That’s messed up.

Very Special Lesson: Don’t poach. Also, don’t watch an episode in which MacGyver doesn’t MacGyver anything. The only thing he made was a filter out of a napkin for which to mix that “sugar” with water and then taste the rhino horn. It was boring and gross and now I’m sad. I suggest we all go enjoy our Friday evening and forget this ever happened.

Oh, PS they do catch the poachers.

 

 

Just One More Minute and Then I’ll Shut Up About Reboots…

1. I should turn off this Google Alert situation but…

2. ALL THAT REUNION IN APRIL THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!!!

Other things of note: Xena isn’t the only reboot with an LGBTQ take on a classic. Remember, Heathers and how I not so long ago said there was no way in hell they could make that show interesting for me? Well, I may have spoken too soon. Here’s the scoop according to Washington Blade:
Heather Chandler – The “Queen Bee” Heather will be overweight.
Heather McNamara – The “Dumb Blonde” Heather will be a black lesbian.
Heather Duke -The “Wannabee” (or “green with envy” if you like the color commentary) Heather will be gender-queer.
So since all of the Heathers possess qualities that would have made the OG Heathers rip them to shreds and ruin their entire existence, I’m kind of interested to see this world in which the cool kids don’t fit the classic trope. But this will only work if it’s sincere and not just some ill-fated gimmick.

Also, MacGyver cast this dude as MacGyver and he’s so cute that I just might be on board with that reboot too. What’s happening to me??? His name is Lucas Till and I love him (even though I just learned who he is). Thank you Google Alerts.nep0shttippdup_1_c

Your TV Reboot Weekly Digest

So two things: 1. I have accepted a new position at work and I’ve learned the magic of Google Alerts 2. I decided to sign up for Google Alerts on my personal email for a couple of “very special things.” (just kidding this is actually 3 things) 3. I’ve realized that I don’t really care about most of the things I get alerts for but here’s some stuff I thought might be interesting:

  1. MacGyver is getting a TV reboot and hasn’t yet cast MacGyver. MacGyver was my favorite show when I was 2 (I had great taste at an early age) so I’m strongly against this reboot for person reasons. But here’s one thing that I do think is worth watching: This Chip n Dale Rescue Rangers re-imagined as MacGyver fan-made opening credits sequence (geez I feel like maybe I made that description longer than necessary…)

2. TVLand is working on a Heathers reboot. I’m very, very on the fence about this one. The film version of Heathers is not only one of my favorite movies, but one of my favorite pieces of pop culture ever. I think it’s truly one of a kind. I was incredibly pro-Heathers: The Musical and even went for my 24th birthday. But I left feeling disappointed. The costumes were great, the actors were talented, but the show made me sad. And that’s largely because it didn’t feel like a black comedy anymore.
Veronica and JD were so emotional that I mostly just wanted to take them to a therapist and then lead an anti-bullying seminar at their school. Black comedies walk a fine line and Heathers especially has sensitive subject matter. It’s very easy to fall on the wrong side of that line. But if they can get Winona Ryder somehow on board for this TV Series (and extra points for Christian Slater) then I’m willing to support it.
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3. Xena Warrior Princess reboot. Now, this is something I can get behind. I mostly watched Xena when I was home sick from school, but even at an early age I could tell there was some serious Xena/Gabrielle subtext. Before you get too excited, I need to stress that this is currently in the planning stages. It’s not in development, they haven’t cast a pilot, and who knows if the network will even go for it. But the show’s executive producer,Javier Grillo-Marxuach, did say: “There is no reason to bring back Xena if it is not there for the purpose of fully exploring a relationship that could only be shown subtextually in first-run syndication in the 1990s.” That sounds incredibly interesting, so I hope this one actually happens.

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