If you’re a close reader, you may have already deduced that this episode takes place on a Friday. Everyone except for Mike is at home watching TV. Carol is at home because her boyfriend is grounded and apparently she has no other friends Ben is home because he is nine years old, and Jason and Maggie are tired form the workweek.
So from here on out we’re basically only paying attention to Mike. While innocently hanging out a local pizza parlor, Mike and hi s friends get invited to a college party. Thankfully, this party is a lot realistically depicted than the frat party on Full House. The guys get to the party and suddenly they are on the set of Miami Vice. Everyone is rich and everyone is doing coke in the bathroom. But like everyone is doing coke, so I am confused as to why they need the secrecy of the bathroom.
So far on The Very Special Blog we’ve been covering the “gateway” drugs. We’ve been playing softball, kids, and things are about to get serious. A hot college girl invites Mike to “got to the john” with her and offers to split a minute amount of coke with him. Mike manages to dodge her for a second, and in the mean time runs into an old friend, Lana. He confides in her that there is coke at the party and she laughs in his face all like duh that is the point of the party, Mike.
Mike is now Andrew McCarthy from Less than Zero and is all like everyone I know does coke ahhhhh! And guess where the kids got the coke for this party? They took it form the absentee parents whose house they are currently wrecking. Not only is everyone doing drugs, but also they’re doing stolen drugs!! I guess it makes sense that they didn’t pay for the coke though because they’re sharing it with everyone at the party like it’s Chex Mix, but coke is one expensive party treat, my friend
Also, Mike has a 1 am curfew. What gives? I feel like my parents always made me be home by midnight and that was for like special occasions. Mike doesn’t do coke and then he feels like a total loser. But he realizes his health is more important than being cool.
At the end of the episode, Jason locks the door and puts the chain on. We zoom in on the chain as the camera fades to black, safely assured that the drugs of Long Island will stay out of our suburban homes.
Then there’s an awesome PSA at the end:
Very Special Lesson: Friends don’t let friends go to the bathroom.
The Very Special Blog 
Was Boner with him? He totally would have snorted that blow. RIP, Boner!
Oh yeah Boner was totally down for doing drugs. Their other friend, Eddie, was all in favor of it too. So Mike went home by himself and sulked, but then Alan Thicke was like hey your friends called and “They wanted me to tell you they didn’t go to the bathroom. What does that mean?” And Mike is all like, “It means a lot.” Heartwarming.
Reblogged this on The Very Special Blog and commented:
OH MY GOSH YOU GUYS. I am reblogging this post because 4 years ago I was very dumb and did NOT realize that Kristy Swanson plays a very important guest role in this episode. She’s the one in the blue sweater who asks Mike if he wants to do drugs!! I bet you’re wondering how I realized this now? As it turns, I keep falling down the Tony Harding/Dancing With the Stars rabbit whole and I just happened to be reading a v. long thread in which Kristy Swanson asked people to #TakeAKneeForNancy by not watching the show. This lead to a lot of MAGA people who don’t like Colin Kaepernick’s protests during the national anthem dragging Kristy for supporting “taking a knee.” These people are idiots for the following significant reasons: 1. They don’t realize that a first amendment right to free speech IS what makes America great. 2. They don’t realize that Nancy Kerrigan’s KNEE was injured in a vicious attack. 3. They claim to be sports fans but don’t realize that is is customary for ALL players to “take a knee” when one player is injured on the field. HAPPY FRIDAY EVE!
The Dinosaurs drug episode was a lot funnier and more honest. What was the point of putting a chain on the door? I guess in case the other kids came by offering them drugs?