I’m writing this as the sounds of PYT drift through my mid-morning ear drums. I borrowed a quote from a Huey Lewis song in order to come up with a title. So when asked whether I would use a time machine to travel to the future or to the past, it must be pretty obvious which one I would chose. Well, the subject matter was probably a dead giveaway.

Reasons I would travel to the past instead of the future:

1. I’m not comfortable with unknowns: What if the future is some weird dystopian bummer land? Or what if everyone has plague? Or what if everyone I like is dead? Ick. I’m cool with dealing with uncertainty as I live my life in the present time and gradually move into the future, but I think that if there is anything we can learn from Back to the Future: Part II, it’s that the future can be pretty grim. No hover board or self-strapping shoe can erase from my mind that is the travesty of seeing Lea Thompson looking like a hot mess.
2. It’s quite possible that I could be the coolest kid ever in the late 20th Century: I was not a cool kid in the late 90’s. I know, I know. I blog largely about the 90’s so how is this possible? Well, I LOVED pop culture in this gigantic gestalt even then and my classmates could not understand my passion for All in the Family or The Facts of Life when those shows were not “hip” or”relevant.” I listened to disco in the third grade and I was weird. I liked bubble gum 60’s pop while everyone else was listening exclusively to The Offspring. And frankly, while I looooved early/mid 90’s film/media/fashion, I just was not into whatever was happening in the late 90’s. Thus, after much analysis, I think I could have owned the 80’s through early 90’s with my vast knowledge and appreciation for culture and style. Unfortunately, it’s not considered acceptable behavior to take a three year old to a Madonna concert, though there was a plan to take me to see the B-52s when I was two. (My parents thought better of it at the last minute.)
3. I want to wear Jellies non-ironically. I know they make your feet sweat and create weird blisters where you think it would be impossible to get a blister, but I think these shoes rock. The light pink color is my favorite because it has the leg-elongating effect of a nude shoe (results may vary based on skin color) AND allows you to look like you are so care free and breezy that you do not even have to wear a sensible shoe. “Oh I’m just roaming around, taking life one minute at a time in my leg-elongating, care-free jellies.”

Would you travel to the past or the future if you had a one-way time machine? You can check out other responses here.