Eight Days a Week

October 23, 2014October 23, 2014 ~ theveryspecialblog ~ 5 Comments

I know I said Halloweek would start tomorrow, but then I watched the Sabrina the Teenage Witch reunion, so surprise, I’m posting today!

Melissa and Joey: Witch Came First

JOEY LAWRENCE HAS BLONDE HAIR? WHAT? This is starting off very poorly.

However, Beth Broderick has the most soothing voice ever, so I’ll deal with it. Beth Broderick (a.k.a. Aunt Zelda) shows up at Melissa’s house and tells her that she’s not really a gynecologist (Mel thinks she is her gynecologist). It turns out that Mel grew up in the other realm under Dr. Raddler’s care, but Dr. Raddler put her under a spell in the mortal realm to save the other realm from the dark lord.

Unfortunately, the Dark Lord has risen and Mel needs to use her special powers to protect the other realm. Dr. Raddler gives her a sparkly cell phone called a “Spell Phone” that has an “Ebook of incantations.” Mel has a bit of trouble using her powers until some blond girl (who I think is her daughter and is named Lennox) complains that her costume is not cat-like enough. Mel wishes that she was the most realistic cat ever and turns her into an actual cat kind of like Salem.

The dark lord shows up in Mel and Joey’s house in the form of a possessed animatronic halloween doll. Even though Mel is still figuring out her powers, she is so powerful that she manages to disarm him. Joey also strong arms him and then they argue about who really defeated him.

In the meantime, Joey has accidentally chased Lennox off the lawn (she had to pee) so Mel goes outside to look for her. When he tries to move the dark lord’s corpse, Joey becomes possessed by the dark lord. Did you guys know that you can say bitch on ABC Family now? I learned that you can because Mel calls Joey (the dark lord) a bitch when he throws a butcher knife and ruins her custom maple cabinets.

Luckily, Mel has managed to turn Lennox back into a human kind of (she looks like one of the cast members from Cats but that costume is her actual body). Lennox has the answer to their problems. She tells Mel that all she has to do to kill the dark lord is tell Joey that she loves him. (The power of love, duh.) The Joey kind of but not really dies because he says that he and the dark lord cannot both live, but Mel revives him with a kiss. Then she decides to lose her powers forever so that she can live in the mortal realm with her family. Aw. Love.

Very Special Lesson: I expected this to suck and it didn’t. Woah! Happy Halloween, guys!

Something Spooky This Way Comes

October 23, 2014October 10, 2014 ~ theveryspecialblog ~ 3 Comments

Hello Very Special Readers!

I am excited to announce that The Very Special Blog will be premiering Halloweek starting tomorrow. Yes, that’s right! Tomorrow marks exactly one week before good old fright night! So sit back, relax, and enjoy some old school Halloween Specials.

Unfortunately, I don’t have time to include all of the Halloween specials, so I guess we’ll just have to do this again next year.

News Flash: Sabrina The Teenage Witch Returns Tonight!

October 22, 2014 ~ theveryspecialblog ~ 4 Comments

Normally, I don’t read ET but I got lured in by news of Renee Zellweger’s face-change. I get it, her body/her choice, Hollywood’s obsession with a narrow definition of “beauty,” the sexist nature of commenting on a woman’s body, (insert reason why I shouldn’t even be writing this sentence here), but honestly I am just shocked by the transformation. And I am 100% confident in saying that I would be shocked and also googling this if any male celebrity, next door neighbor, or my godmother’s cat underwent such a transformation.

While on the ET website I also learned about how Sarah Jessica Parker crossed a “please don’t stand on stairs” sign at Carrie Bradshaw’s brownstone in order to show off her new shoe line, but that’s not what I’m here to tell you about today. The third and final thing I read on the ET website is that there will be a SABRINA THE TEENAGE WITCH REUNION tonight on Melissa and Joey at 8 pm ET/7 pm CT. This will also be a Halloween episode! Aunt Zelda will be there (no Hilda wahhh major sad face) and also a cat named Warlock, who was the final live-action Salem from the show. The premise will be something along the lines of Melissa has been Sabrina the whole time, but she was put under a spell in order to protect her from the “dark lord,” and thus has no memory of who she really is. I don’t watch Melissa and Joey, so I have no idea if it’s a good show or if this reunion will seriously mess with some continuity, but I think I may check it out tonight. And of course I wanted to alert all of you to the news as well!

ET won’t let me embed videos, so if you want to see the promo then you have to give them a little site traffic.

21 Board Games Based on TV Shows

October 22, 2014October 19, 2014 ~ theveryspecialblog ~ 9 Comments

I knew about a few TV-based board games, but when I discovered that there was a Secret World of Alex Mack game, I wondered what else could be out there. As it turns out there are a ton of board games based on TV shows. I tried to be discerning but I could not pare the list down anymore than these 21 games.

The Secret World of Alex Mack
In this board game, you get to be Alex Mack and use her powers! The object of the game is to “morph” everything from Alex’s backpack to her house without the chemical plant who doused her with GC161 noticing. Because in this game, Alex can’t just morph the whole backpack to her house or morph herself and go get the backpack undetected. Come on, she needs your help!

ALF
Kind of like the Alex Mack game, the object of the ALF game is to sneak through the house undetected by Mrs. Ochmonek. I can’t remember who Mrs. Ochmonek was in the show because I rarely watched ALF due to the fact that he was crass and looked like an ROUS (rodent of unusual size).

The A-Team
OMG I am so confused by this game play description, that I’m just going to leave you with the premise and call it a day. So basically, B.A. Barakus is the focal point of this game, but you cannot play as B.A. (more commonly known as Mr. T.) Since this game is 80’s and corporate, it is about a stolen soda recipe. The recipe is being held for ransom on an island, since obviously there is only one physical copy of this recipe that must be locked away and surrounded by water on all sides. The soda thief is a crafty fellow and he makes a deadly game (the one you are about to play right now on this board!) to keep the A-Team at bay. B.A. has gone ahead of the rest of the team and is already with the recipe, so now you have to find B.A. No, B.A. cannot just leave the way he came in and bring the recipe with him. You have to save him! It’s called the A-Team not the B.A. Barakus show–except he was kind of the entire show, sorry George Peppard.

Cheers
This is one of those board games that is actually just a trivia game about the show, which I always find a little disappointing. But I love Cheers, so oh well. You move around the board and get tokens for answering trivia questions correctly. There’s also something called the “Normie Olympics” which makes the trivia game a little more interesting. If you land on the appropriate space for the “Normie Olympics,” then you can challenge someone to a “flip-off.” In order to win the “flip-off” you have to flip a plastic version of fan-favorite Norm without spilling his beer. If you win the flip-off, then you can take a token from whomever you challenged, which helps you get closer to the five tokens necessary to win the game.

Full House
Everyone moves around the board to different neighborhoods trying to collect character cards for all of the main characters. Once you have a complete set, then you have to race back to Alamo Square and be the first to arrive back at the Full House house.

Happy Days
What do you think of when you think of Happy Days? If you said the Fonz magically lighting up a jukebox, then you win! The object of this game is to impress Fonzie with how “cool” you are. To accomplish this, you must be the first person to obtain enough “cool points” to turn on the jukebox.

Kojak: The Stake Out Detective Game
Just like a real cop, this game puts pressure on you to meet quotas. The person who makes the most arrests wins! Everyone moves cars around the board, trying to solve crimes by collecting cards. A “contact card” gives you your case and then you must collect the other cards to book the criminal. Lollipop not included.

Laverne & Shirley
In order to win this game you must spend the most time on dates. The person who dates the most wins because that’s what making your dreams come true and doing things your way as an independent female means. Duh.

M*A*S*H
The point of this game is to try to get out of Korea and head home. You have to collect a jeep or helicopter and then be the first to reach the finish space in order to get a transfer home. Yeah, it’s a little depressing.

Murder, She Wrote: A Game of Strategy and Pursuit
Every player gets to be Jessica Fletcher, except one is secretly the murderer. This is all rather fitting since I often wondered if Jessica Fletcher was secretly the murderer…either that or the angel of death Anyway, to play this game you have to determine which Jessica Fletcher is actually the murderer. If you are chosen to be the murderer, then you can still win by murdering five witnesses and leaving the game board undetected. So it’s sort of like a bloodier version of Clue.

The Partridge Family
This is a track game like CandyLand but with David Cassidy instead of gum drops. The object of the game is to be the first person to reach the family bus.

Perry Mason: Case of the Missing Suspect
Here’s another television detective game! Everyone moves around the board collecting clues. Each clue card has a point value, and these points will add up to correspond to a suspect. You could have the same number of points as someone else, so you might be going after the same person. In order to win you have to be the first person to bring your suspect to the courthouse. This game, released in 1959, is actually The Game of Dragnet (released in 1955) but with Perry Mason instead of Sergeant Joe Friday.

Saved by the Bell
There are actually two different Saved by the Bell games. The first one is from the 90’s and requires you to be the first person to get thirty points. There a saved by the bell game re question cards with truth-or-dare questions and trivia. You move around Bayside High School and get points for dating Zack and Slater. The other game was released in 2010, and it’s a time travel game back to the Bayside of the 90’s. It’s sort of like a bizarro mystery date. Zack and Kelly tell you who you will date, where you are going, and what you will be doing. The player who goes on the date wins.

Miami Vice
This game is pretty cool in that you get to play as either the Vice Team or the Criminals. If you are a cop then you want to arrest the criminals. If you are the criminals, then you want to get to the drop point before the vice cops show up. Typical, Miami whack-a-mole stuff. miami vice game

Double Dare
This game lets you recreate a little of the Double Dare magic in your own home by doing your own physical challenges with these pretty lame game pieces. There are also trivia cards, of course, and the first team to reach the $250 space wins.

Family Matters
The point of this game seems to be primarily to embarrass your friends. You need to collect the most bow tie cards to win the game and collecting them is as easy as rolling a die. But you can lose bow tie cards if you do not do the Urkel on command. Any player can make any other player do the Urkel at any time.

The Love Boat: World Cruise Game
Every player has a Love Boat pawn. Each person draws a “star” from the pack of cards at the beginning of the game. Then you try to collect the appropriate cards for your star on the cruise and at the ports of call. For example, the star athlete would want sporting cards whereas the movie star would not. The game ends when the first player gets his or her Love Boat to San Francisco (which also gives said player a 500 point bonus). The person with the most points total wins.

Family Ties
Like the iconic opening credits, the point of this game is to pay for all of the family members to have a portrait painted together. Players take on the roles of Keaton family members and each try to collect $100 dollars to pay for the portrait. This requires having the necessary cash and getting everyone in the same spot.

Baywatch
Players get to play as the Baywatch lifeguards. You move around the game board (“the beach”) and collect discs by answering questions, doing physical challenges, and “gambling” (not really sure of the context of this one.)

Charlie’s Angels
Every player has his/her own team of Angels…so basically it’s like every player is Charlie but you are all operating in alternate universes simultaneously. If the Angels in your universe trap the bad guy first, then you win and emerge as the ultimate Charlie. To trap the bad guy you physically surround him with your team’s game pieces.

Clarissa Explains It All
In order to win this game, you need to be the first player to have at least one key and a driver’s license. In order to obtain these things, you move around the game board and answer a series of questions family-fued style (“in a survey of Clarissa’s friends). You also collect rescue cards to be used in the unfortunate event that you land on a crisis space, but don’t worry because there are also spaces that require you to get a snack or just hang out.

I am sure there must be a million more of these games. Let me know in the comments if you noticed any that I missed! Did anyone have any of these games? Were they any good?

Mashup Monday

October 20, 2014October 20, 2014 ~ theveryspecialblog ~ 1 Comment

This weekend I was like “What if Saved by the Bell” was a book series like The Baby-sitter’s Club? So I decided to make that happen.

Denise Huxtable Fashion Icon

October 16, 2014October 16, 2014 ~ theveryspecialblog ~ 4 Comments

So it has come to my attention that it’s #tbt on Polyvore (and every other place on the Internet), but the cool part is that today’s theme is fashion inspired by The Cosby Show. While my first instinct was to go with Theo in the yellow shirt, I felt that Denise had the more modern-options.

Denise by theveryspecialblog featuring a pink shirt

Kiss The Sky pink shirt
$40 – nelly.com

Tasha
nordstrom.com

Brown pants
$16 – wearall.com

Ankle boots
womenbuying.com

Just a Touch of Crisis

October 15, 2014October 15, 2014 ~ theveryspecialblog ~ 5 Comments

St_elmo's_fire Usually when I’m feeling bummed about about my life’s direction, I watch St. Elmo’s Fire for the five thousandth time. But I watched it too recently because I was on a bus stuck in traffic and I didn’t have anything else to do. Also, I’m starting to become older than the Brat Pack and that’s hurting my heart. So lately, I’ve been left to just sit with my feelings and it sucks.

I feel extra crappy feeling blue when so many awful things are happening around the world. I know that I am ultimately a very lucky person in a world where many people cannot even count health or personal safety among their blessings. But that being said, I’m in a terrible funk and I haven’t quite felt this way since the teen-angst years. Except in the teen angst years, I at least had a million plausible dreams to keep me motivated.

But without the idealism of teenage naivete, I am a just person living hand-to -mouth with a Master’s Degree in a “Bachelor’s Preferred” job in a totally different field than what I studied. Don’t get me wrong, I feel incredibly lucky because my coworkers are cool and it’s the first full time, permanent (with benefits!) job I have ever had. But I also feel no sense of purpose in what I am doing, am bored with pretty much all of my hobbies, and work too much to find new ones. Only my 90 year old great uncle understands any of this because he is the only older person I know who was my age at a time when the economy was similarly screwed up. I know it’s getting better, but I haven’t felt it yet.

Thing I would like to do for a job

Ghostbuster
I noticed a weird sludge in the train tracks today. My first thought was, “What is that strange sludge?” Then I proceeded to think, “Well, it can’t be that bad because they are still running the train.” And finally I thought, “This is a job for The Ghostbusters.” I would like to be that person to investigate that strange sludge, and if I had my proton pack with me this morning, I would have blasted it back to Hell where it belongs. Currently, Ghostbuster is top of my list of dream jobs. With the untimely death of Harold Ramis, I think I could fill the academic nerd void.They also need a token female. And Bill Murray wouldn’t even phase me. I think he’d be all “wacky” and I’d be like, “Hey, Bill. Let’s go get a cup of coffee.”

Alex P. Keaton
This is a dude who’s got it all together. Sure, I would have to be a Republican, but I think that in Alex P. Keaton’s World it may have actually been possible to be a moderate Republican. It seems like nowadays we live in a world without much of a moderate-anything. And sure, Richard Nixon made a lot of mistakes, but I don’t think that Alex was wrong to love him. At this point, I’m used to presidents lying to me and none of those guys have ended the Vietnam War or opened up trade relations with China. Also, Alex P. Keaton didn’t have to pay for college and don’t even get me started on that.

Nun from Sister Act
Nun is a job with an inherent sense of purpose. And no one had a better nun job than the nuns in Sister Act. Not only did they get to paint murals and better their community, but also every time they go to church they get to be a Mary Wells cover band.

Be a Designer for Designing Women
Dear Ms. Sugarbaker,
I feel that I would be a good fit for your firm because it would allow me the opportunity to combine my creative whimsy and my detail-oriented administrative side. It would be an honor to be a part of such a rigorous, entrepreneurial environment, and I feel that i believe that I can offer a unique vantage point to your aesthetic. However, you and your sister are whiny so I will probably hang out with Annie Potts most of the time. She was my favorite part of Pretty in Pink. I hope to discuss this opportunity further with you.
Sincerely,
The Very Special Blogger

Whatever Sue Ellen did in Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead
This seemed mostly to involve drinking wine, some light embezzlement with no consequences, and the opportunity to design impractical albeit well-received work uniforms.

Band-Aid
I understand that Penny Lane was pretty much just a groupie and that band-aid was what she called herself to reframe her tumultuous and ultimately depressing relationship with Russell. However, let’s imagine for a moment that Band-Aid is a real job a la creative personal assistant. So like everyone is really stressed out on the bus because the lead guitarist tripped on acid and quoted Robert Plant on the roof of some suburban teenager’s house. No problem, allow me to mend the situation with a little light humor and a group sing-along. You’re having trouble making conversation with Deep Purple? Don’t worry about it, let me start things off on the right track! The only problem is that I seem to be more sensitive to loud noises than I used to be (Oh God, I’m aging) but it does seem like the kind of job that would provide a lot of interesting travel opportunities.

Honorable Mention:
Karen Carpenter
I would like to be on top of the world looking down on creation, but it seems like a hard life. Eating disorder obviously excluded (I want no part of that), I wonder if it gets tiresome to stand up and sing all of the time. But rainy days and Mondays are always getting me down.

Mother, May I Sleep with Danger?

October 15, 2014October 13, 2014 ~ theveryspecialblog ~ 6 Comments

This movie fades in from white, so you know it’s gonna be intense. There’s also some ominous David Lynch style music and some dude watching a house from his car. I wish I could scream at the nondescript blonde female, “Don’t undress in front of your window! You don’t know who is out there!” But alas, I cannot get this TV movie character to hear me. I must helplessly watch the sad tragedy unfold.

The super creepy dude is actually the blonde girl’s boyfriend. He flips out when he notices that the pictures and poems that he gave her are all boxed up. She explains that she is having her room painted. But even if she were lying that, is no reason to straight up murder her, which is what he does less than five into this movie.

Next, we meet Laurel, a college student played by Tori Spelling. Laurel is trying to move up in the track team, but her mother calls her coach and says that Laurel has an eating disorder. Concerned that Laurel is over-training, the coach cuts her from the team. This is clearly a devastating blow, but Laurel is excited about her new boyfriend, so she forgives her mother’s meddling and they plan an introductory dinner.

OH MY GOSH THE NEW BOYFRIEND IS THE MURDERER! His name is Kevin but it may as well be Danger. It turns out that Kevin lost his parents in a helicopter-skiing accident (he says, “they died doing what they love”), but I can’t help but wonder if he murdered them. He’s already planning how he and Laurel can work at the same place and “never be apart”…

Kevin ends up in a major depressive episode when Laurel tells him she needs to study and can’t hang out. The next day, he sends her flowers and she decides he is not so bad. Kevin also does this weird serial killer hand twitch thing when he talks about his abandonment issues or stalks his girlfriends. He is doing it while talking about how he was worried that Laurel would leave him forever and she’s all like “aw you’re so sweet and not at all scary, let me have sex with you.” And it’s just like, Tori Spelling, NO! Did you learn nothing from that time you had the abusive boyfriend on 90210?

But she has not learned cross-film and so she has to learn that lesson again as a different person in a different television feature. Kevin convinces Laurel to dye her hair blonde. He’s Kim-Novack-ing her Vertigo-style. She now has the exact haircut and color of the girl he murdered at the beginning of this movie.

But he’s also kind of Kim-Novack-ing himself. It turns out that he has stolen the identity of the dude who his original girlfriend was hanging out with on the day that he murdered her. (Right? I know. It’s so intense).

Billy (fake Kevin’s real name) then stalks the real Kevin (who has resurfaced and applied to the same college that Billy is attending as Kevin). He follows Kevin and pretends to work at Kevin’s hotel–under the guise of catching up with an old high school acquaintance–and murders him Psycho style in the hotel bathroom. This movie has a lot of Hitchcock references.

Billy’s next move is to isolate Laurel in a cabin. He then attempts to drive a wedge between Laurel and her mother by telling Laurel that her mom says Laurel needs to be put in an institution because of her eating disorder. He promises her that he won’t let that happen and they make out vigorously. Their passion knocks over a bottle of red wine and it oozes ominously over the floor, foreshadowing the bloodshed yet to come.

Laurel catches onto the situation when Billy sabotages her car and she has to walk two miles to a pay phone. A male friend picks her up (which stalker Billy sees and does not like) and stays with her while she calls the phone company. When she discovers that Billy never placed an order to have their phone line setup, she knows that he is trying to isolate and control her.

Meanwhile, Laurel’s mom has no idea where Laurel is, so she starts to investigate the conflicting information Billy has given while spinning his web of lies. In a police station, she notices a missing person’s picture that she recognizes from Kevin/Billy’s apartment (which she broke into). She also notices the eerie resemblance the missing girl bears to her post-makeover daughter. Then a detective sends her a copy of the real Kevin’s driver’s license because cops just hand that stuff out to inquiring mothers. Laurel’s mom tells the detective that he is not Kevin and they begin to investigate Billy Jones (!) whom the detective was suspicious of in the original case.

Laurel tries to move out, but Billy catches her and is totally going to murder her. Laurel manages to get away from him and decides that the best choice in her self-protection is to go dancing. We already know that Billy is an expert stalker, so he finds her and assaults her male friend. Frankly, I find it remarkable that Laurel is still alive. Billy has obviously gained a modicum of self-control since he murdered that other girl at the beginning of the movie.

si-pres-du-danger_201933_16924 In the last twenty-minutes of the movie we get a creep shot of Billy getting on his motorcycle at the cabin in the woods. Now he is the one being stalked. But who is his stalker? It appears to be Laurel attempting to retrieve the rest of her things. Why, Laurel?? She leaves the house only to find him sitting on her car. You cannot out stalk this guy. You just can’t!

He tells her he wants to make one last toast, so they can leave as friends. Laurel, why did you drink that tainted wine? Why, Laurel, why?? Luckily, Laurel’s mom is hot on the trail and she confirms that Billy Jones is Laurel’s boyfriend. She discovers that “Laurel” a.k.a. Billy has just used her AAA card on the way to her cabin.

mothermayi Isolated in her mother’s cabin, Laurel must once again try to escape. Billy chases her with an ax. When her mom shows up, he roundhouse kicks her in the face. Laurel attempts to escape in a rowboat. This is not the most effective means of escape. She probably should just swim for it–like Billy who capsizes her rowboat from beneath the water. Then he attempts to murder them both on the dock with the ax. There’s less than 2 minutes left in the movie now. Screen Shot 2014-09-09 at 7.49.59 PM

Omg. Tori Spelling uses her mom has a human shield. This is so wrong. Oh wait, at the last minute she throws her mom out of the way and hits Billy in the head with an oar. Billy drowns. Mother and daughter walk off arm in arm. Woah.

Oh crap. Billy isn’t dead. He shows up at the end of the movie with another blonde co-ed and he’s looking oddly like Adrian Grenier.

Very Special Lesson: Don’t date anyone ever. This person will stalk you and ruin your college education.

An Open Letter to Cory Matthews

October 15, 2014October 17, 2014 ~ theveryspecialblog ~ Leave a comment

An Open Letter to Cory Matthews (when he was a World War II G.I.),

I have a few questions, which I will illustrate with a series of images. First of all, where did Shawn get his late 90’s shirt in the early 40’s? He is so fashion forward, but I guess I shouldn’t expect anything less from Shawn Hunter.

Secondly, it’s so cool that your mom is a riveter! But was it common practice for women to rivet with military grade machinery in their backyards? I am surprised that there were not more regulations about that, but you know: anything to help the war effort!

Finally, why are you in a trench? Are you sure that you are in the right war?

Also, you might not want to pick up any more strange cats at school. Hopefully Salem won’t stray so far from Sabrina in the future. I think he had a pretty rough time too. Salem and Cory

I think it’s pretty crappy that you got your engagement ring for Topanga from a crackerjack box even if you are in the middle of a war zone. It’s also really weird that you asked your best friend (with whom she is totally incompatible) to marry her if you died. Don’t you think she could have found someone other than Shawn to marry? I feel like you’re really selling Topanga short, or you would just like her to be in a friend-zone marriage of convenience rather than with someone who might rival her affections for you.

Ultimately, I’m glad that you two ended up together, and that you didn’t stay with that girl in France that you only dated because you had amnesia. Also, I’m pretty sure she was like twenty years older than you, but that’s cool if you’re into that I guess. Also, Eric is super cool in the 40’s and this whole time travel situation made me realize how great it would be if he and Jack were a couple.

Sorry if this letter takes forever to get to you. I’m sending it from the 21^st Century in which I am currently in a very weird mood.

The Very Special Episode Lives!

October 13, 2014October 13, 2014 ~ theveryspecialblog ~ 2 Comments

I haven’t watched Saturday NIght Live in years. I stopped watching at a certain point because I felt like it started to suck terribly, and I honestly cannot say whether or not it has gotten any better. However, I do catch a clip from time to time andI love Chris Pratt (and very special episodes), so I felt that I had to share this! It’s like three weeks old, so you may have already seen it. If you haven’t, check it out: