MERRY CHRISTMAS, VERY SPECIAL READERS! I was at a 7.5 hour long Christmas party last night, so I’m late on this post but it is still Christmas! So not too late!
So Will discovers that his youngest cousin, Ashley, isn’t very into Christmas. All of her friends are out of town, so she’s decided to make Christmas break interesting by learning a new word each day. Will is obviously concerned that she’s missing out on childhood, so he decides to make Christmas super special for her. He makes her write a letter to Santa even though she’s 10 and doesn’t believe.
He’s particularly bummed about the post-modern crystal nativity set, in which the baby Jesus is abstractly represented by a tiny disc. When he finds out that his aunt and uncle pay a store in Beverly Hills to decorate their home for them every year, Will opts to head to the story, pick up the decorations, and deck the halls with Ashley himself.
At the store he finds one measly box of sad, pretentious decorations, so he leaves them at the story and goes off in search of reindeer-worthy decor. The house is less minimalist-chic and more completely covered in candy canes:
It isn’t long before the neighbors calling to complain about the “blinking Frosty the Snowman.” And Will threatens to fight one of the callers. Soon, an angry mob forms on the lawn. Carlton wants to solve the problem by “writing a few checks,” but his father opts for a rational discussion instead.
Ugh. The neighbors are complaining about property value and how these Christmas lights are ruining that. They suck.
As it turns out, Evander Holyfield (played by himself) is the neighbor that Will threatened to fight…so he quickly pretends that he never spoke to anyone on the phone.
Just then, a group of kids ring the door bell and sing carols. They’ve been driving around, looking at Christmas lights, and decided to sing carols at this house because they felt like it had the best decorations.
Just then Ronald Reagan (not played by himself) stops by to tell everyone how much he loves the lights because Nancy won’t let him decorate their house. So you know, if the Gipper approves, then I guess all of the other trickle-down aficionados have to play along too.
Very Special Lesson: “Happy Christmas to all and to all a goodnight!”