Author: theveryspecialblog

The Liebster Award

~ theveryspecialblog ~ 3 Comments

D.T. Nova has nominated my blog for the Liebster Award. Thanks!

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So, here are my answers to the following very special questions:

1. What’s a subject you don’t know much about, but wish you did?

          String Theory. Or maybe it’s better for my sanity that I don’t know more about that.

2. If you could have a superpower, what power would you want?

         I would like to be able to turn myself into a gelatinous substance like Alex Mack and escape lame situations/eavesdrop on important conversations when necessary. I would have to become adept at avoiding vacuum cleaners.

3. What’s your favorite song?

           I am not good at answering this question. I tend to go by whatever my car likes, which at the moment is anything by Michael Jackson, “I Drove All Night” by Cyndi Lauper, and “Hey Jealousy” by The Gin Blossoms.

4. What are you most likely to do on a sunny day?

          I tend to do whatever I would do on any other day.

5. What are your goals for the future?

          Sleep at 8-9 hours per night, afford my apartment, and have a life outside of work.

6. Is the glass half-full or half-empty?

         Ahhhh I hate this question. I want to answer “it’s just half.” But I’m aware that is not really a sentenceeeee. “half capacity” which I guess is really just “half-full” fineeee, I’m an optimist.

7. What’s your favorite quote of all time? It can be from a famous person, a movie, a song, anything.

           “You know you don’t have to act with me, Steve. You don’t have to say anything, and you don’t have to do anything. Not a thing. Oh, maybe just whistle. You know how to whistle, don’t you, Steve? You just put your lips together and… blow.” –Slim, To Have and Have Not

8. Is there a word that’s not really common but you use a lot?

          I wish my vocabulary was more interesting, but it’s not. So. No.

9. If your name appeared in the Guinness Book of World Records, what record would it be for?

          Most hours spent lying in bed while awake but “resting.”

10. If you could change one thing about the world, what would it be?

          The Midnight Special would still be on television and I would be the Chief Talent Officer.

11. Do you think you can come up with 11 questions more easily than I did?

No.

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Eleven random facts about me:

1. I avoided watching Home Alone for the first nine years of my life because I thought it was a horror film.

2. I can’t reread books, but I have managed to read A Wrinkle in Time thrice because it is the best thing ever.

3. Last time I filled out one of these blog award question things, I was on a coffee cleanse. I’m now back on coffee. I love it. Why did I ever stop??

4. Oh yeah, it was my out of control acid reflux. That’s okay, I’ve purchased a lot of Tums since the coffee cleanse. I’m probably drinking less overall though because I no longer live in New York. I’m actually having trouble finding a Starbucks, which is a big problem because I have a reward on my gold card!

5. Yesterday, I didn’t have time to take a shower before work and I don’t think anyone could tell. I’m afraid this will negatively affect my personal hygiene now that I know I can get away with this shenanigan.

6. I stopped eating all pig-products after seeing the movie Babe when I was five. I’ve since made an exception for bacon and pulled pork barbecue, but I still feel wrong about it and avoid all other products. In fact, I’m feeling like I should switch to turkey bacon and give up barbecue right now as I’m typing this.

7. I stayed with my cousin in Germany for  a while when I was three. I learned how to speak German without an accent, but my boyfriend has somehow twisted this into I came back to America speaking English with a German accent. I have since forgotten all of the German because no one spoke it with me when I returned and it’s been over twenty years. So much for being bilingual. It turns out three year-olds don’t have a great memory. But I can sing you a fun song about your mother accidentally chopping off all of your fingers while chopping speck.

8. I cannot be seen publicly wearing sweatpants. My friends once harassed me into going to the dining hall in my PJ pants in college (a time when everyone is wearing some variation of PJ pants everywhere) and I felt wrong about it the entire time.

9. I had the opportunity to meet BB King when I was in the first grade, but I opted not to do so because my friend told me he was a “rock star.” I immediately envisioned Axl Rose and at 7 found that image to be incredibly frightening. Then we went to his concert and I realized he was a middle-aged man in a suit playing a guitar alone on stage. I’ve always regretted not meeting him. He seemed so nice when I was 7 that I’ve always thought we could have been friends.

10. I don’t like tomatoes, but I like tomato-based things.

11. I considered buying a Kindle during the President’s Day Sale, but I realized that no price could allow me to compromise my morals. Then I had a really hard time finding a bookshelf for my new apartment. I’m worried about what that means for the future.

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Blogs I’m nominating:

1. JH Mae

2. Sleepoverz 

3. PickleJinx

4. Casey Kay B

5. E.A. Douglas

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The questions I’m asking:

1. What is your guilty pleasure TV show?

2. What’s the weirdest, most random thing you’ve ever found in your pocket?

3. Are you a coffee person, tea person, or both?

4. Who is your favorite member of The Baby-Sitters’ Club?

5. What is the farthest place you’ve ever traveled from home?

6. What is your favorite thing about blogging?

7.  If you could go to any concert at any time, anywhere in the world, what would you see and why?

8. If you absolutely had to change your hair into the style of one of the original Charlie’s Angels would you pick The Farrah, The Jaclyn, or The Kate?

9. What is the worst movie you have ever seen?

10. What is your favorite book that you’ve read in the past year?

11. If you could only write with one item for the rest of your life, would you chose a pen or a pencil?

–

And here are the Official Rules of the Liebster Award:

If you have been nominated for The Liebster Award AND YOU CHOOSE TO ACCEPT IT, write a blog post about the Liebster award in which you:

  1. Thank the person who nominated you, and post a link to their blog on your blog.
  2. Display the award on your blog — by including it in your post and/or displaying it using a “widget” or a “gadget”. (Note that the best way to do this is to save the image to your own computer and then upload it to your blog post.)
  3. Answer 11 questions about yourself, which will be provided to you by the person who nominated you.
  4. Provide 11 random facts about yourself.
  5. Nominate 5 – 11 blogs that you feel deserve the award, who have a less than 1000 followers. (Note that you can always ask the blog owner this since not all blogs display a widget that lets the readers know this information!)
  6. Create a new list of questions for the blogger to answer.
  7. List these rules in your post (You can copy and paste from here.) Once you have written and published it, you then have to:
  8. Inform the people/blogs that you nominated that they have been nominated for the Liebster award and provide a link for them to your post so that they can learn about it (they might not have ever heard of it!).

Happy Days: Fonzie’s Blindness

~ theveryspecialblog ~ 4 Comments

Crap. What a week. I’m so tireeeed. I’ve been sitting in my bed for the past 3 hours doing that thing where you just kind of like stare at Hulu or like the empty space just beyond your computer screen and think, “How is my brain possibly still conscious and functioning?” And yet, there is some weird synapse that keeps firing and it’s that synapse that forces you to stay awake against all human odds? That’s science right?

And all I can say about this week, is at least it wasn’t as bad for me as it was for Fonzie that time he was temporarily blinded because Al hit him in the head with a lunch tray.

If your optic nerves are that fragile, then you seriously need to have some work done. But anyway, the Fonz has a really hard time with this because he’s flawless and prideful and God-forbid he be slightly vulnerable let alone missing one of his essential senses!

But since he’s a god-among-men, everyone caters to his ever need and wish, so much so that Richie worries he will be totally helpless for the rest of his life. And so he rips Fonzie a new one during the family dinner because Fonzie asks Joanie to salt his potatoes for him. And Richie is like DO IT YOUR DAMN SELF, FONZIE even though he has only been blind for like a week and maybe it takes some time and emotion to react to that kind of thing.

But I get it, we’re on a thirty minute timeline and we need to move things along. So Richie takes Fonzie’s motorcycle apart. He really shouldn’t be driving blind anyway, so this seems like no loss to me but Fonzie has a metaphysical break down. And Richie’s all like Mr. Miyagi and saying he should use the force within or something and wax-on his way to putting tiny little screws and nuts and bolts together kinesthetically.

Fonzie loses his shit and like can’t handle it. Then he asks God why he allowed this to happen to him. “I thought I was your favorite person,” he said. I mean I get that Fonzie is cocky, but that’s like way beyond the point of acceptable charm here. That’s like probably the definition of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. But then he get’s down to business and puts the bike together from memory.

And then Fonzie is rewarded for his perseverance and regains his sight at the end of the episode. He says things are a little “blurry” but if he keeps going to the doctor for his “treatments” then he should be 20/20 again in no time. That’s some awesomely advanced medical work for the 50’s.

Very Special Blog: Work hard, be humble, and all of your disabilities will melt away.

The Brady Bunch: Lost Locket, Found Locket

~ theveryspecialblog ~ 3 Comments

You know you’ve found a very special episode when the dialogue uses words like “you’re special” and “I feel special” in an entirely non-ironic manner. As much as I expect to watch an episode of this show and feel overwhelmed by cheese and predicability, it’s so often not the case. I don’t know why I’m surprised by this, as someone who regularly blogs about Full House. But the Brady’s are just so nice that you think hey it might be kind of fun to have a large blended family and never have a room to myself or a moment alone.

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Anyways, the best part of this show is clearly Eve Plumb. She’s the kind of kid that you feel like would actually be a bummed out middle sister. And yep, that’s the episode we’re talking about here. (I guess the broken nose episode is also full of very special lessons but Marcia, Marcia, Marcia so no.) If you’re not familiar with this very special classic, Jan starts off the episode being mopey and lonely and unnoticed by her parents. She’s all bummed because Carol & Mike have taken the other girls to fun activities, and this is a gender-divided household so God-forbidden she see what her brother’s are up to.

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Marcia making a snide comment to Cindy has to how it’s no mystery as to who sent the locket because only ONE boy likes Jan.

Lucky for mopey Jan, she receives a present in the mail from a secret admirer. It’s a locket. Suddenly all of the Brady’s turn into private investigators and try to get to the bottom of this message. They’re sneaking around, checking typewriter font, analyzing postmarks, and everything you could possible imagine. Things reach a fever pitch when Jan loses the necklace and everyone reenacts their exact actions at the time of the “theft.” It makes you wonder a. how much time do these adults have on their hands? and b. how could Jan possibly feel like she’s “nothing special” when 8 people are suddenly dropping everything to solve a mystery for you?

But I guess that’s the whole point as to why Alice sent her the locket in the first place (whoops 40 year old spoiler). Alice was a middle sister too and she recognizes that it’s kind of the pits, so she wanted to send Jan a present to let her know she’s special. And then it’s a really cool secret between housekeeper and ward for the rest of eternity.

Very Special Lesson: Sometimes we need a little mystery to get a little attention to remind ourselves that we’re work paying attention to. (Is that a sentence? I’ve been working like twelve hours a day since I started this new job. I refuse to proof read at this point.)

The Partridge Family: Road Song

~ theveryspecialblog ~ 5 Comments

The Partridges are on tour in New Mexico and eating at a restaurant that has managed to defy the health inspector even though it is infested with flies. This is the best part of this show I think. I mean here they have David Cassidy but in the Partridge-Universe they are only famous enough to be playing at Shriner’s clubs and hotel bar’s.

So while they are having a nice family dinner in a disgusting diner, this teenage girl comes up to them and says she saw their bus outside and is hoping they could give her a lift to Albuquerque. (I feel like there’s going to be a song with Albuquerque in it now. Also, I had to use spell check twice to spell Albuquerque.)

Then this runway girl proceeds to tell them a ton of stupid lies about her past. She seriously is failing at subtlety. Also, she speaks strangely. I think young actresses must have still taken weird speaking lessons in the early 70’s. Anyway, when the stop to spend the night she bails. They’re not in Albuquerque (2nd time spelling it correctly on my own!) but she says she has some Basque shepher friends she needs to visit (ugh okay). And Shirley Jones is all like you’re full of it but I can’t make you stay if you don’t want to. When really it’s like, I’m sorry Shirley Jones, but at this point you’re probably endangering the welfare of a child and may need to call some type of local authority.

But it doesn’t take long for the police to find the Partridges. They tell the cop that they don’t know where she went. But if he had only checked their bus he would have found the missing girl sleeping and snuggling her guitar case. So bohemian. Anyway, Shirley sends the kids away to “freshen up” for the concert and tells the runway to chill with them. Meanwhile, she and Reuben go to the local police station to figure out what was going on. It turns out that this girl always runs away from her grandparents in Nebraska because she wants to live with her dad in Albuquerque. Upon learning that she’ll be locked in a holding cell until her grandparents can come collect her, Shirley asks if she can keep the girl with her and contact the grandparents herself. And you know, when you’re a small time family-band celebrity, you operate under a different set of rules.

So of course the police make Shirley responsible for this child and allow her to take her to Albuquerque to meet her grandparents. But when the Partridge kids say that the runaway has been taking a very long shower, Shirley barges in and finds the bathroom empty. So basically this is the stupidest most avoidable situation The Partridge Family has ever found themselves in. The producers must have really wanted to reuse that ghost town set because they have the family search all over this one-horse town for the runway (while a song about Albuquerque plays).

Anyway, they can’t find her until she literally runs in front of their bus. Then they chase her around Scooby-Doo style. Luckily, she doesn’t know how to drive a bus, and they corner her as she is trying to steal their ride. Anyway, it turns out that her dad is a super chill guy and her grandparents are kinda evil. They don’t like her dad (clearly they’re maternal grandparents) even though he hasn’t done anything to warrant this kind of behavior. Then they fight over her because they both love her so much and both want to give her a really wonderful home. (The Partridge Family can make even homeless children look rosy.) Shirley Jones is so awesome with her total lack of boundaries that she mediates between the squabbling family members and they agree that her dad can see her in the summer and on holidays. The End! No big “live performance” scene! Hope you liked that montage!

Very Special Lesson: When in doubt, use your favorite celebrities to solve all of your domestic issues.

Modern Day Obsession: Hindsight

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I’ve recently gotten really into Hindsight on Vh1. It’s like a romcom + best friends + time travel. So like a really really great chicklit book that you can watch weekly. Also, the first episode is free on itunes if you want to test the waters. The best part (about the time travel) is that you get to chill in the 90’s without being like “AH THIS IS A THING FROM THE 90’s!” It’s sort of like Back to the Future in that regard. But honestly it’s probably mostly like Peggy Sue Got Married because it’s all about this woman who regrets her first marriage and passes out and wakes up in her own body but like 20 years prior. So yeah, I think this has been a really solid and coherent review. I hope you think so too.

On another note, I’ve clearly been using this blog to relive my childhood and in that sense it’s become a bit of a 90’s nostalgia blog. But in the 90’s I was obsessed with the 70’s. (You could in part blame Now & Then for this) but I believe the ultimate culprit is the vast amount of time I spent watching reruns as a child. And really, 1970’s television is the very special zygote that grew into the very special fetus of 80’s television until Blossom finally gave birth to the very special baby that would make us hate very special episodes forever. That was a really gross analogy that I tried to re-write thrice but no that’s just how my brain sees it, sorry. Anyway, this February I’d like to pay homage to some of my formative television experiences. Get ready for Happy Days, The Partridge Family, The Brady Bunch, and the first season of Diff’rent Strokes (also know as the Mrs. Garrett years.)

Very Special Movie: Now and Then

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I have wanted to post about the most EPIC movie for girl children for a while now, but frankly I couldn’t take the emotions. This movie makes me long for middle school and also 1970. I never experienced 1970, but this movie encouraged me to cuff the ends of my Bermuda shorts and try orange Nehi soda for the first time. (I had previously been exclusively a Stewart’s Grape Soda girl.) I AM HONESTLY JUST TOO EXCITED TO WRITE THIS POST AND I HAVEN’T EVEN PRESSED PLAY ON THE MOVIE YET OMG.

You know what, I don’t even have to watch the movie to do this. And I’m sorry to pull out the old list post gag but I can’t help it. I want to run around screaming Badfinger’s “No Matter What” or even better yet Tony Orlando & Dawn’s “Knock Three Times” at the top of my lungs. And whilst “quiet hours” don’t begin until 10 pm in my apartment building (yeah there are some things I miss about New York) I do not believe that my new neighbors will appreciate this impromptu sing-a-long. Or maybe they will. Maybe I should try this and find out if they are the best people ever or not.

7 Entirely Personal Reasons that I Freaking LOVE this movie (and maybe if you agree with these reasons then they are not entirely personal and you can totally be my BFF and we’ll trade friendship beads but OMG do NOT go down into the storm drain to retrieve them. Or maybe do because then we can become BFF’s with a misunderstood old man.)

  1. This movie perfectly captures that feeling of total protection and security and absolute freedom that you somehow trick yourself into thinking you have as a twelve year-old. I get that it was a “safer” time and parents let their kids roam around a little bit more. But the kids in this movie are also never totally without a friendly adult. Like you could always go to your Grandma Cloris Leachmen in the even of an emergency even though you totally think that you are perfectly capable of solving a paranormal mystery on your own. I liken this to how I felt that I owned the mall in middle school and could totally get my haircut at Fantastic Sam’s without informing any adult because *what were they gonna do about it* even though my friend’s dad was always sitting dutifully at the food court in the event of an attempted kidnapping or knife fight.
  2. I wanted to be cool like Roberta, had no boobs for (what felt like) forever like Teeny, had parents with a rocky marriage like Samantha, and (though I would never want to admit it) was naive like Chrissy. I mean, not “planting the seed and watering the flower” naïve, but I mean I pretty much like wanted to follow the rules and wear pigtails for as long as possible. But the best of this movie is that no matter which girl-archetype(s) you were, you could pretty much trust that you would find your way in life. All of these girls are awesome and they made every little girl who could identify with their characteristics feel awesome too.
  3. I had the worst-best-friend ever in elementary school. Looking back on it she actually wasn’t my friend at all and was probably at best my frenemy until she turned out to be a straight up bully and excommunicated me from our group. 2406.original-4196However, before I became an eleven year-old social outcast, I hosted two epic weekend adventures of bike-riding and assigning everyone characters. I had the opportunity to be both Roberta (my original favorite upon my first viewing) and Teeny (I wanted the excuse to stuff my shirt with paper towels because I didn’t have any balloons or pudding. Or a bra for that matter). I saw on Facebook a couple of years ago that one of these girls (a rather nice one who managed to still kind of hang out with me for a whole year post-excommunication) hosted a similar weekend Now & Then bike-riding event, so I’m proud that my legacy lives on. I know I’m not the only 90’s girl who thought of this idea, but I was the original to do so in that specific friend group and it feels like some kind of weird justice of awesomeness.
  4. Is it weird to ‘ship a couple of child stars from 20 years ago…or like is there an exemption if you’ve been ‘shipping them for that entire 20 year period? OMG YOU GUYS THIS MOVIE IS 20 YEARS OLD. I’m not okay with that, wow. Anyway, I’m pretty much convinced that Devon Sawa and Christina Ricci are basically soulmates. The kiss and Casper+ the kiss in Now & Then pretty much set the bar for all of my kissing expectations in life. And yes, I know that’s an incredibly 90’s baseline. I’m a product of pop culture. Clearly.
  5. This soundtrack! (If anyone would like to have a side conversation about how “I Want You Back”has the best baseline ever. Or is in my opinion THE best song ever, then please feel free to reach out in the comments section.)
  6. Friendship breakups are the worst thing ever in the history of the world. I would so much rather date a guy and have him completely step all over my heart than to have a friend breakup ever again. I say this with completely confidence because (having undergone both situations) the friends are the ones I miss a decade later. I have a very “Goonies Never Say Die” attitude in this regard and you pretty much have to become a total asshole or nutcase for me to want to stop being your friend. The adult part of Now & Then is all about how these women haven’t talked to each other (for the most part) in years. And yet Rita Wilson finds herself impregnated and all of these women just “news team assemble” to help her out. If I could resolve all friendship breakups in this manner, you better believe I would in a heartbeat. Well, except the pregnant part. Even friendships aren’t that important. 
  7. ADVENTURES! Don’t you guys just wish we could ride our bikes around all day and solve that eerie cold case that shook our small Indiana town to it’s Heart of America core? And in the meantime we could talk to a drifter with some spare cigs, come to terms with our family traumas, engage in a feud with the boys down the street, start a brawl on the baseball field in the name of women’s rights, and have Janeane Garofalo tell us our fortunes when she isn’t busy serving us Coca-Cola.

Saved by the Bell: Driver’s Education

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This is an episode that feels particularly close to home for me because I haven’t had to do much driving living in New York. Today the Bayside kids start Driver’s Ed.

This episode starts off with Zack giving Kelly a ring and Kelly telling Zack that she isn’t ready to go steady. Now, I was a little young for dating when Saved by the Bell was on, but this doesn’t feel very 90’s to me. Did teenagers talk about going steady in the early 90’s?

Anyway, let’s get back to driving. A.C. Slater is the only kid who knows how to drive safely. Everyone else thinks it’s appropriate to dry your nails out of the window (Lisa) or put one arm around Kelly (Zack), but Slater knows that the proper way to hold the wheel is the 10 & 2 position. Slater is also the only one who is financially responsible enough to save for and purchase a car. Basically, Slater is a 25 year-old amongst 15 year-olds in this situation. And yes, I’m saying this mostly because of his fashion choices.

Screen Shot 2015-01-21 at 9.29.13 AMAnyway, Zack gets super jealous because he’s worried that Kelly will be more interested in Slater than she is in Zack. She says she isn’t ready to go stead and she considers the ring to be a friendship ring, so the next logically thought is that she is totally shallow and only interested in boys with cars, duh. Thus, he begins to concoct a plan to get the Driver’s Ed. teacher to fail Slater. Solid friendship, guys!

Now, I don’t know about you, but my Driver’s Ed car was a clunky old sedan. The kids of Bayside get this lovely compact convertible. Some might even call it a golf cart. Obviously, their driver’s training was a lot more cutting edge and unconventional than mine.

Screen Shot 2015-01-21 at 9.36.49 AMBut Zack’s attempts to turn the teacher against Slater don’t counter-act that fact that Slater is an incredibly good golf cart driver. And maybe he does have cause to worry about the Kelly/Slater connection because Kelly seems pretty turned on by how well Slater did in the in-classroom cone obstacle course. I’m beginning to wonder if Zack is a masochist because then he has a fantasy about Slater taking Kelly to the drive-in while he and Screech sit next to them on a bike.

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Zack is such a douche in this episode. Basically, he’s not great at driving so he asks Slater for help. Slater totally agrees to help him out and Zack is still trying to ruin his life. So basically, Zack takes the car out of the classroom and into the hallway and bribes Slater to teach him how to drive out of bounds. But Kelly walks up and wants to ride with Slater. (Zack has suspiciously asked to observe Slater’s teaching techniques from outside the vehicle). As it turns out, Zack has setup Belding to find Slater driving the car alone outside of the classroom. But Zack can’t get Kelly away from the car and basically shocks Slater into crashing. A golf cart. In a hallway. So maybe he isn’t that great of a driver.

It’s pretty concerning that these school locker’s cannot withstand the force of a slow-moving golf cart. But they must not be very heavy lockers because Kelly is actually okay and non-concussed. However, Screech tells Kelly, Slater, Jesse, and Lisa the truth about Zack’s actions, so Jesse encourages Kelly to fake massive-brain-injury in order to guilt Zack into confessing. It almost works, but then Kelly accidentally calls Zack by his name and shows herself to be a lot more lucid than she appeared. Also, someone should have been getting this girl serious medical attention if she really mistook Zack for Tom Cruise.

Then Zack concocts a new plan to keep everyone quiet so that no one gets punished. But since no one has come forward, Belding decides that the best course of action is to cancel Driver’s Ed. Apparently, the school board and parents are totally cool with that. Kelly is so sweet that she offers to take the blame for everyone. Then Slater offers to take the blame instead of Kelly. Why are they protecting Zack?? He was so awful! Agh!

Luckily, Zack proves that he really can be the hero of our show and finally confesses. He’s automatically flunked out of the class and Slater gets two weeks detention. And Kelly is so impressed with his honesty that she agrees to go steady! So good week overall for Zack?

Very Special Lesson: If you ever become jealous of your friends and want to ruin their lives, they will cover for you in the event of a horrible disaster totally and completely by your doing.

Bye, New York!

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Gothamist recently published a list of all the redundant departure from New York City essays. All in all, I’ve spent more time living upstate than in the city, so I don’t even know if I have much authority to give you my two cents on the matter. I also didn’t move to New York intending to stay forever, so maybe that has some bearing on my decision as well. That said, I think the reasons I’m leaving New York are pretty obvious. They are the same reasons as everyone else before me.

(You’ve definitely heard it all before so go ahead and skip this section if you’re sick of hearing about common reasons for leaving New York.)
I’m tired of working fifty hours a week and only being able to save fifty dollars every few months if I scrimp and save even more so than usual. And it is hard to justify living in the same place as my friends if I never have time or energy time to see them. This is not the place for me long-term, and I totally see that now. I needed to live here and lose my mind a little bit in order to find what’s right for me. And of course, I’m still figuring that out.

But I do know that I am tired of little errands taking an hour. I love public transportation, but I really would love a five-minute car trip to the pharmacy. The thought of that actually seems like Heaven. And I think that’s a pretty sad commentary on the state of my brain. I can feel myself becoming more and more neurotic each day. The noise pollution, which I used to be able to handle has finally taken its toll on me. I would like to go an entire night without having my fight/flight response system triggered by tractor-trailers or seventy-five emergency service vehicles.

There are also more personal reasons why I’m moving. Mostly, it’s that I’ve become really career-frustrated, and my family doesn’t live here. I’m getting older. They’re getting older. Babies are being born and becoming adults without knowing me except for by name and a few faded photographs, if I’m lucky.

Clearly, I wouldn’t be moving and airing my personal grievances if I was happy here. And that reason alone is probably why essays like this tend to sound obnoxious. You should be willing to put up with a certain level of bullshit if you plan on living in New York, and you should always assume that you’ve underestimated that level of bullshit. But the reason I’m writing this is not to complain. I wanted to explain all of my reasons for leaving because I also want to list everyone and every thing I am thankful for in New York. And that felt weird to do without a context–because without a context then there’s no reason for my departure.

I’m going to start off with a little love for the oft maligned MTA:
Shout outs to-
*The B Train conductor who wished us a Happy Friday every morning and a blessed weekend. Then she sincerely thanked us for riding the MTA as if we had a choice. But hey, thank you for being so wonderful that I made myself take that train every morning not so that I was on time but rather because you made me smile. This incidentally made me on time every Friday.
*The N Train conductor who sounded vaguely like Cliff Claven from Cheers and wanted so badly to talk to all of us like a Midway Booth operator that he overrode the automated system at every stop in order to remind us to take all of our belongings before departing the train. This is a very mundane message, but he really did sound like he worked at a Fair and this made the inner child in my giddy every time I heard his voice over the loudspeaker.
*The 3 Train conductor who made “this is a Harlem Bound 3 train” sound like a late night slow jam DJ asking callers to dial in for the request line.
*The N Train conductor who sounded genuinely concerned about the fact that we might not notice the N was running express, and was legitimately concerned even though she made the announcement every week at the same exact time. I know she memorized a script, but I know the conductors look out for you too. Which brings me to my final conductor thanks.
*The other N Train conductor coming off of his shift, who found me jet lagged and cold at the Astoria-Ditmars station, waiting on a Q train that wasn’t running. He asked me if I was waiting on the Q and I lied because I could tell that I shouldn’t be waiting for the Q. He may have known that I lied. Oh well.
*The booth worker who smoothed out my MTA card for me because I sat down on it and messed it up, but not enough to realize that was what I had done. And every motorman who got me safely to my destination.

To the people of New York–
*Everyone who reached out to grab me when I lost my footing (usually while running up a flight of stairs).
*The entirety of Penn Station who did not pickpocket me even though I forgot to zip up my overnight bag when I got off the train and my wallet was sitting precariously on top.
*Thank you to the younger train break dancers for not kicking me in the face. No thank you to the older train dancers who did nothing but pull ups on the bars and sexually harass the ladies.
*Thank you to every Seamless delivery person. I think I’ll miss you most of all, Scarecrow.
*To every coworker I ever had (except for the mean ones).
*To the stranger who saw me sobbing (big heaving gaspy sobs) on the train and told me “Whatever it is. I hope it gets better for you real soon.” You probably thought I was depressed or drunk or both, but I was having an asthma attack for the first time and I was crying because I thought I was slowly suffocating but I didn’t have enough oxygen in my brain to figure out what to do about it. It made me feel better to know that someone was looking out for me instead of taking advantage of me in a very vulnerable time. I have an inhaler now, so I suppose it did get better.
*To everyone who gave me a compassionate look, a colluding smile, and a helping hand. Thanks.

To the places of New York
*The Strand Bookstore and The Union Square Barnes and Noble provided me with an affordable and tangible book selection. Thank you for letting me be a person who was living hand-to-mouth but still got to read things. I cannot even begin to describe to you the wonders of the Union Square Barnes and Noble bargain book selection. These are books that wouldn’t ever be Bargain Books outside of New York and yet I got them all for five dollars! (I rate every expense in terms of Sandwiches, so this is less than the cost of half a sandwich.)
*To the lovely cafe in my neighborhood, which may be the only thing I will miss more than the Seamless delivery people. I’ve never gotten to be a regular at a restaurant until now. It’s a really cool feeling.
*To Ikea for always providing me with an affordable meal and the best view of the Statue of Liberty
*Uncle Louie Gee’s for making summer awesome.
*To every place that sells rainbow cookies and Mallowmars. Also, I’ll probably never be able to eat a bagel outside of this city ever again.
*All of my friends who have been so amazing and supportive with this move.

Okay. That about covers it! Bye, New York!

Throw Back Thursday!

~ theveryspecialblog ~ 4 Comments

How could The Very Special Blog have a Throwback Thursday when this block throws it back everyday? Well, I may a bit behind here, but I recently discovered a website that makes any website look like a Geocities page. Here’s a screen shot of The VSB Geocities-Style:

Screen Shot 2015-01-04 at 6.44.20 PM

Check out the full website here and see what your blog would look like in all of this ridiculousness.

Also please continue to vote for the Very Special Disney Episode Showdown Winner! There’s currently a tie in the Vacation Attire category! I’ll make the official announcement later today. I know you’re all just dying to find out! Unless, you’re still too pissed about The Golden Girls.