Salute Your Shorts vs. Hey Dude

May 1, 2015April 26, 2015 ~ theveryspecialblog ~ 2 Comments

Ever noticed how some shows have basically the same plotline? And what’s even more bizarre than a PSA type episode with a boyfriend dying from injuries sustained while driving under the influence (Clueless and Growing Pains), is an episode about really intense capture the flag with odd rules. I guess it makes sense in a way because these shows both involve a group of people isolated from mainstream society. So maybe that’s some strange Lord of the Flies coping mechanism?

Let’s see who did it better, shall we?

Hey Dude: War
As it turns out, the only requirement for being head of staff at the Bar None Ranch is winning a game of Capture the Flag–except if capture the flag was more like Manhunt and involved finding the flag in an undisclosed location. The two teams stay up until dawn and look for the other teams flag and the first one to run it up the flag pole in the morning wins.

Everyone is divided into the red team and the blue team, but basically all you need to know is that Ted and Brad are competing for senior staff status. Everyone else is cool just letting the duke it out and supporting them as teammates for whatever reason. I would have been all like:

And when Ted starts to take everything too seriously (a.k.a uses fake military tactics), Danny and Melody tell him that they don’t actually care and that they just want to play the game.

When Melody decides she’s better off just going to bed, the Blue Team kidnaps her and tries to get her to tell the Red Team’s secrets. They plan on using music-torture, Noriega-style, to get her to talk. But she really doesn’t care about the game at this point, so she tells them right off the bat that they booby-trapped it over the fireplace in the main lodge.

Meanwhile, the blue team has hidden their flag in the lining of Ted’s coat, which is pretty brilliant, if you ask me. Finally, both teams obtain the other’s flag and race to the flag pole. But when they arrive, Ted and Brad collide into one another and are knocked out cold. In the meantime, Mr. Ernst (owner of the Bar None) runs the American flag up the flagpole. The kids decide to share Senior Staff Leadership and walk off arm-in-arm.

Salute Your Shorts: Capture the Flag
Let me start of by saying that I want to play Camp Anawanna’s version of Capture the Flag. This is intense. But we’ll get to that. First off, everyone at the camp has to tryout for a position on Ug’s team. He’s challenged another counselor, and the loser will have to dress up like Madonna and sing “Material Girl” in the cafeteria. So there’s a lot riding on this. Donkey Lips (I can’t believe they let that name exist in children’s television) wants to be an attacker, so it’s a really underdog story.

Now, Camp Anawanna doesn’t play your typical capture the flag. They’ve got bunkers. They’re decked out in war paint. And best of all, they use water balloons as ammunition. Ug communicates with team captain, Budnick, via walkie talkie and a VHS Camcorder attached to Sponge’s helmet. It’s kind of like Vietnam but in a fun way.

Donkely Lips doesn’t get to be an attacker though, and he’s left behind has Budnick leads the charge across the hill. (By the way, your favorite Anawanna kids are the red team and they’re playing against the blue team). But it’s a trap! They’re heavily attacked by water balloons.

The retreat behind a log, while the blue team slowly stalks them on the offensive and things get very:
Meanwhile, Donkely Lips and Z.Z. have dug a trench and captured nine members of the blue team. (But isn’t that like the entire size of the red team?) Pinsky talks them into saving the rest of the red team, while he stays behind to watch the prisoners.

But it’s only when Donkey Lips can overcome the tire obstacle course (his kryptonite) that barricade the other team’s flag that the red team can return victorious to camp.

So, I want to try this new thing. I’m calling it “Friday Face-Off” where I compare two similar episodes and you pick your favorite. Then on the following Friday, I’ll reveal the winner and the next face off.

Melody from Hey Dude is Matilda from Zoolander

April 15, 2015April 12, 2015 ~ theveryspecialblog ~ 4 Comments

And I don’t mean she’s the same actress. Well, I know she’s the same actress.

But I’m pretty sure that Melody from Hey Dude grew up and changed her name to Matilda before becoming an investigative reporter in Zoolander. You see, I discovered all of this in a very telling scene from the “Miss Tucson” episode of Hey Dude. This is the first time in which Melody/Matilda reveals that she was an overweight child who idolized the pretty beauty queen type.

Clearly, she trusts her dude ranch friend, Brad, enough to share this tragic past. But it’s not until she meets the love of her life, Derek Zoolander, that she reveals her history of Bulimia.

Poor Melody/Matilda! She deserves better. Hopefully, we will find out that everything worked out great for her when Zoolander 2 finally comes out.

Clarissa Doesn’t Explain It All

April 13, 2015April 11, 2015 ~ theveryspecialblog ~ Leave a comment

It’s spreading like the plague that will inevitably cause the Zombie Apocalypse. Clarissa Explains It All will be rebooted as a novel, in which Clarissa does not have all of the answers.

I can’t handle Clarissa having a quarter-life crisis. It sounds like she’s having a quarter-life crisis from the book description.

The fun of Clarissa Explains It All is that you really do think you have everything figured out when you’re fourteen. And maybe at fourteen, in your small pocket of the world, for like two-seconds, you do have it all figured out. I mean who is going to barge into your room and tell you that your assessment of school newspaper politics isn’t the most important thing in the world? You’re cool neighbor Sam? Yeah, right. He’s too chill to start an argument.

Clarissa, can you please explain the cultural zeitgeist that is happening right now?? What will I tell my children when we watch reruns together? My parents got to say things like “This is M*A*S*H. You don’t even understand how good this is.” And I would laugh along like I did understand, but I didn’t. I was pretending until I was old enough to actually get it.

But I will have to tell my children, “This is a continuation of a series that began thirty years earlier and you need to see twelve seasons prior to this one before understanding what’s going on here.” Or worse. I will Little Rascals-them about everything. Of course, I am referring to how my parents shamed my love of The Little Rascals movie because it wasn’t the “real” Little Rascals/Our Gang/I totally get what they were saying now and I’m going to be just as obnoxious to my children.

I’m probably going to pre-order this Clarissa book though. Let’s be real.

Are You Afraid of the Dark?: The Tale of the Twisted Claw

October 26, 2014October 13, 2014 ~ theveryspecialblog ~ 2 Comments

Every time I attempted to watch this show as a kid, I would say to myself, “Okay, I’m really old enough for this now. I can handle it,” and every time I would be totally terrified and feel that there was nowhere safe to escape the banal horrors of middle-class American life. This viewing was no exception. I shrieked at the opening credits just like when I was a kid. But I managed to make it through this entire episode, and I do not expect to have any nightmares. (I’ll have to let you know later about how that goes, but I’m managing fine as of right now.)

The Tale of the Twisted Claw is a modern-retelling of The Monkey’s Paw, and is set on mischief night and the following All Hallow’s Eve. Mischief Night–a prank night on the night before Halloween–is something that I am pretty sure I have only heard of happening in Michigan, but Are You Afraid of the Dark? was filmed in Canada, so I suppose maybe it’s a Northern US/Southern Canada tradition. Basically, these kids are TP’ing some trees and spraying silly string on cars. Which reminds me, how great was silly string?

Screen Shot 2014-09-13 at 3.40.44 PM Anyway, two boys named Dougie and Kevin decide to visit a spooky house where Ms. Clove lives. Just for the record, I’m not sure if Kevin is actually the second boy’s name, but it sound right and so I will continue to use it. The boys ring Ms. Clove’s doorbell and Kevin sprays her in the face with a can of Barbasol. It’s a total dick move that causes her to stagger backwards and break a Ming vase. Then they run away because they are jerks. What they don’t see, however, is that Ms. Clove begins to laugh manically with her face covered in shaving cream, and we as the audience, realize that they are totally screwed.

On the following night, Kevin comes over to Dougie’s house, so that they can go trick-or-treating. There’s a ton of other kids there as well, but you only ever see them in the initial living room seen. They probably didn’t want to have to pay any other child actors, so they disappear immediately after this one group scene. But lucky for us, we are able to catch a glimpse o Screen Shot 2014-09-13 at 3.41.40 PM f one classic 90’s costume–the human grape. You see, the human grape was a popular costume for children of the 90’s with lazy parents, who thought that the best option for a cheap Halloween costume was to stick a bunch of purple balloons on a green body suit and call it at day.

Believe it or not, one of my most vivid childhood memories happened with a human grape at my next door neighbor’s costume party. He was the only kid I knew at the party because for some reason none of our other neighborhood friends were in attendance. And of course he was busy being the cool party host, so I was left alone and friendless. Eventually, a shy little girl who had been hanging back from the party (probably because people wanted to pop her human grape balloons) approached me and said, “Oh Jasmine! I’m so glad you’re here!”

And I was like, “Cool but I’m not Jasmine.” And she said, “Oh haha Jasmine you are so funny!” And I was like “Yeah, but my name isn’t Jasmine.” She looked at me strangely and said, “Come on, Jasmine let’s go over here,” leading me over to the snack table. This girl was totally not listening to me. I explicitly said that I was not Jasmine. But I didn’t know anyone else at the party, so I gave up and decided to just be Jasmine for the party. I mean, she was a Disney princess, and this kid obviously seemed to like the real Jasmine enough to be friends with her, so I ended up feeling super cool and pretty too.

Suddenly, I was this bubbly entertainer and it was great…until my mom came to pick me up. My mom, bastion of truth that she is, took it upon herself to tell the human grape that I was not Jasmine. The human grape gave me this withering look like I had betrayed her by pretending to be someone else. I tried to invite her over to my house to play, but she refused to be my friend because I had mislead her…more like she would not listen to the truth and instead decided to believe that I was lying to her and also maybe she needed glasses.

Okay, okay enough talk of the trials and tribulations of my childhood. Let’s get back to the plot, Kevin suggests to Dougie that they return to Ms. Clove’s house to trick-or-treat. Dougie tries to convince Kevin that this is a ridiculous idea, but Kevin insists that she won’t recognize them because they are wearing costumes. However, he fails to note that only Dougie has a mask.

Ms. Clove seems totally pumped to have some trick-or-treaters and invites them inside for a “special treat.” It is like these kids have never ever heard of strange danger. They follow her inside, so that they can tell their friends how brave they are. Ms. Clove brings out a creepy claw in a music box that plays the Danse Macabre. She tells them not to be freaked out by the shriveled hand-thing in the box because it’s just a wooden representation of a vulture’s claw. She says it’s a g Screen Shot 2014-09-13 at 3.47.47 PM ift for them and will grant them each three wishes. And they’re like cool a creepy claw from a total stranger, so they take it and leave. On the way home, Dougie–who is a major scaredy cat–decides that he has had way too much excitement for one night and wishes that they were done with trick-or-treating. Suddenly, out of nowhere a bike gang of big kids attacks them and steals their candy. The boys deduce that this happened because of Dougie’s wish and the magic claw.

Screen Shot 2014-09-13 at 3.59.19 PM — Casually holding a claw in school. No one cares.

Screen Shot 2014-09-13 at 3.58.42 PM — 90’s mullet.

The following day, Kevin decides to use the claw to wish that he could beat the cool kid in the 600 meter race at field day. The cool kid has the elusive 90’s mullet, rarely seen in the wild. It is calmer than the 80’s mullet and paved the way for the straight long hair that boy bands and teen stars of the late twentieth century would come to favor. Dougie, on the other hand, has a wannabe mullet, whereas Kevin is left with no mullet at all.

Out on the field, Dougie stands on the sideline of the race and notices an ominous tree. What the heck is up with this tree, you might wonder. This remains unclear as the camera repeatedly cuts back to the ominous tree and eventually it seems that the tree is growling.Personally, a growling tree is just about the most terrifying thing I have ever seen. But it turns out that it’s simply a stray dog behind the tree, who then runs toward the racers. The dog never even touches the cool kid. who is leading the pack of runners, but he scares him and the cool kid takes a dive just in time for Kevin to break tape. Unfortunately, the cool kid sustains a broken leg from his fall and the boys realize that the wishes always end up hurting someone.

Screen Shot 2014-09-13 at 4.14.05 PM

Back at Dougie’s house, they try to figure out what to do with the creepy claw. It’s giving them what they want, but it’s hurting people. Dougie thinks that they should come clean to his parents and see if they can help them, but Kevin does not want to give up the power of the claw and wishes that Dou Screen Shot 2014-09-13 at 4.17.56 PM gie would “lose his folks.” Seconds later, Dougie get a call from the police. He freaks out because now people are like literally being murdered by the claw. He decides that they should under no circumstances make anymore wishes. He refuses to even wish for his parents to be okay because something bad always happens and he worries that he will only make it worse. Unfortunately, he wishes that his grandfather were there to help them, but his grandpa is dead. They look outside to see his grandfather’s car pull up to the house. Kevin freaks out about seeing a dead guy and tries to wish him away. In a heated altercation on the Karastan rug runner right in front of the door, Dougie fights him for the claw because he believes that they must stop making wishes.

During the struggle, Dougie realizes they should apologize to the claw for breaking the Ming vase and wishes that it had never happened. The claw disappears in his hand, Kevin’s medal disappears from his pocket, and luckily the person ringing the doorbell is Dougie’s mom. Then she and Dougie’s dad decided to treat the boys to some ice cream. When the doorbell rings again, the boys open the door to find the Ming vase and a note from Ms. Clove that reads only “trick-or-treat.”

Halloween Lesson: Be careful what you wish for. No, but seriously.

21 Board Games Based on TV Shows

October 22, 2014October 19, 2014 ~ theveryspecialblog ~ 9 Comments

I knew about a few TV-based board games, but when I discovered that there was a Secret World of Alex Mack game, I wondered what else could be out there. As it turns out there are a ton of board games based on TV shows. I tried to be discerning but I could not pare the list down anymore than these 21 games.

The Secret World of Alex Mack
In this board game, you get to be Alex Mack and use her powers! The object of the game is to “morph” everything from Alex’s backpack to her house without the chemical plant who doused her with GC161 noticing. Because in this game, Alex can’t just morph the whole backpack to her house or morph herself and go get the backpack undetected. Come on, she needs your help!

ALF
Kind of like the Alex Mack game, the object of the ALF game is to sneak through the house undetected by Mrs. Ochmonek. I can’t remember who Mrs. Ochmonek was in the show because I rarely watched ALF due to the fact that he was crass and looked like an ROUS (rodent of unusual size).

The A-Team
OMG I am so confused by this game play description, that I’m just going to leave you with the premise and call it a day. So basically, B.A. Barakus is the focal point of this game, but you cannot play as B.A. (more commonly known as Mr. T.) Since this game is 80’s and corporate, it is about a stolen soda recipe. The recipe is being held for ransom on an island, since obviously there is only one physical copy of this recipe that must be locked away and surrounded by water on all sides. The soda thief is a crafty fellow and he makes a deadly game (the one you are about to play right now on this board!) to keep the A-Team at bay. B.A. has gone ahead of the rest of the team and is already with the recipe, so now you have to find B.A. No, B.A. cannot just leave the way he came in and bring the recipe with him. You have to save him! It’s called the A-Team not the B.A. Barakus show–except he was kind of the entire show, sorry George Peppard.

Cheers
This is one of those board games that is actually just a trivia game about the show, which I always find a little disappointing. But I love Cheers, so oh well. You move around the board and get tokens for answering trivia questions correctly. There’s also something called the “Normie Olympics” which makes the trivia game a little more interesting. If you land on the appropriate space for the “Normie Olympics,” then you can challenge someone to a “flip-off.” In order to win the “flip-off” you have to flip a plastic version of fan-favorite Norm without spilling his beer. If you win the flip-off, then you can take a token from whomever you challenged, which helps you get closer to the five tokens necessary to win the game.

Full House
Everyone moves around the board to different neighborhoods trying to collect character cards for all of the main characters. Once you have a complete set, then you have to race back to Alamo Square and be the first to arrive back at the Full House house.

Happy Days
What do you think of when you think of Happy Days? If you said the Fonz magically lighting up a jukebox, then you win! The object of this game is to impress Fonzie with how “cool” you are. To accomplish this, you must be the first person to obtain enough “cool points” to turn on the jukebox.

Kojak: The Stake Out Detective Game
Just like a real cop, this game puts pressure on you to meet quotas. The person who makes the most arrests wins! Everyone moves cars around the board, trying to solve crimes by collecting cards. A “contact card” gives you your case and then you must collect the other cards to book the criminal. Lollipop not included.

Laverne & Shirley
In order to win this game you must spend the most time on dates. The person who dates the most wins because that’s what making your dreams come true and doing things your way as an independent female means. Duh.

M*A*S*H
The point of this game is to try to get out of Korea and head home. You have to collect a jeep or helicopter and then be the first to reach the finish space in order to get a transfer home. Yeah, it’s a little depressing.

Murder, She Wrote: A Game of Strategy and Pursuit
Every player gets to be Jessica Fletcher, except one is secretly the murderer. This is all rather fitting since I often wondered if Jessica Fletcher was secretly the murderer…either that or the angel of death Anyway, to play this game you have to determine which Jessica Fletcher is actually the murderer. If you are chosen to be the murderer, then you can still win by murdering five witnesses and leaving the game board undetected. So it’s sort of like a bloodier version of Clue.

The Partridge Family
This is a track game like CandyLand but with David Cassidy instead of gum drops. The object of the game is to be the first person to reach the family bus.

Perry Mason: Case of the Missing Suspect
Here’s another television detective game! Everyone moves around the board collecting clues. Each clue card has a point value, and these points will add up to correspond to a suspect. You could have the same number of points as someone else, so you might be going after the same person. In order to win you have to be the first person to bring your suspect to the courthouse. This game, released in 1959, is actually The Game of Dragnet (released in 1955) but with Perry Mason instead of Sergeant Joe Friday.

Saved by the Bell
There are actually two different Saved by the Bell games. The first one is from the 90’s and requires you to be the first person to get thirty points. There a saved by the bell game re question cards with truth-or-dare questions and trivia. You move around Bayside High School and get points for dating Zack and Slater. The other game was released in 2010, and it’s a time travel game back to the Bayside of the 90’s. It’s sort of like a bizarro mystery date. Zack and Kelly tell you who you will date, where you are going, and what you will be doing. The player who goes on the date wins.

Miami Vice
This game is pretty cool in that you get to play as either the Vice Team or the Criminals. If you are a cop then you want to arrest the criminals. If you are the criminals, then you want to get to the drop point before the vice cops show up. Typical, Miami whack-a-mole stuff. miami vice game

Double Dare
This game lets you recreate a little of the Double Dare magic in your own home by doing your own physical challenges with these pretty lame game pieces. There are also trivia cards, of course, and the first team to reach the $250 space wins.

Family Matters
The point of this game seems to be primarily to embarrass your friends. You need to collect the most bow tie cards to win the game and collecting them is as easy as rolling a die. But you can lose bow tie cards if you do not do the Urkel on command. Any player can make any other player do the Urkel at any time.

The Love Boat: World Cruise Game
Every player has a Love Boat pawn. Each person draws a “star” from the pack of cards at the beginning of the game. Then you try to collect the appropriate cards for your star on the cruise and at the ports of call. For example, the star athlete would want sporting cards whereas the movie star would not. The game ends when the first player gets his or her Love Boat to San Francisco (which also gives said player a 500 point bonus). The person with the most points total wins.

Family Ties
Like the iconic opening credits, the point of this game is to pay for all of the family members to have a portrait painted together. Players take on the roles of Keaton family members and each try to collect $100 dollars to pay for the portrait. This requires having the necessary cash and getting everyone in the same spot.

Baywatch
Players get to play as the Baywatch lifeguards. You move around the game board (“the beach”) and collect discs by answering questions, doing physical challenges, and “gambling” (not really sure of the context of this one.)

Charlie’s Angels
Every player has his/her own team of Angels…so basically it’s like every player is Charlie but you are all operating in alternate universes simultaneously. If the Angels in your universe trap the bad guy first, then you win and emerge as the ultimate Charlie. To trap the bad guy you physically surround him with your team’s game pieces.

Clarissa Explains It All
In order to win this game, you need to be the first player to have at least one key and a driver’s license. In order to obtain these things, you move around the game board and answer a series of questions family-fued style (“in a survey of Clarissa’s friends). You also collect rescue cards to be used in the unfortunate event that you land on a crisis space, but don’t worry because there are also spaces that require you to get a snack or just hang out.

I am sure there must be a million more of these games. Let me know in the comments if you noticed any that I missed! Did anyone have any of these games? Were they any good?

Slimed!: A Very Special Book Review

September 22, 2014September 12, 2014 ~ theveryspecialblog ~ 3 Comments

I guess I’m behind the times because this book has been out for like a year. Anyhow, I just finished reading it and I’d like to share some fun stuff from it with you! I supposed “review” is not the best title for this blog post. Believe it or not, I’m not really into book reviews. I seem to have SO many opinions about television, so how could I not take the opportunity to harass a book, right? Well, I don’t have much of an explanation for you, I’m afraid. I think books are more subjective than most other art forms and aside from saying things like “this book had a faced-paced plot” or “this person could not form a coherent sentence,” I don’t really see much point in critiquing someone else’s writing.

Slimed!: An Oral History of Nickelodeon’s Golden Age is exactly what its title says it is. This book is comprised of interviews with producers, writers, directors, actors, and designers who worked on Nickelodeon shows from the beginning of the network through the late ’90’s. My two complaints about the format are that there was absolutely no narrative connecting any of the block quotes from the interviews. I would have liked at least a little context between subject shifts, or some objective background information in a sea of he said/she said memories. My other complaint is that I did not even realize that there was a glossary in the back of the book that said who all of the interviewees were. I spent most of the book guessing from context as to who each person was–aside from those people whose names I recognized like Blake Sennet and Melissa Joan Hart. Other than that, it was a really great read. Parts of it were painful because even though Nickelodeon seemed like a great place to be a kid, there was still all of that uncomfortable coming-of-age on television stuff. And a lot of the infighting between creators and producers was sad but not unexpected. Okay, enough reviewing! Here are some fun facts!

7 Fun Facts from Old School Nickelodeon

Graham Yost (a writer on Hey Dude) also wrote the screenplay for Speed.
Slime was originally created when a props master let a bucket of garbage that he was supposed to dump on a cast member of You Can’t Do That On Television sit overnight between shooting. The decomposing trash created a smelly green ooze, which the props master was instructed dump it on the kid anyway. Over the years, slime had many different (safer) mixtures, including bases of cream of wheat or applesauce.
Double Dare turned down a million-dollar sponsorship from Casio because they did not feel comfortable displaying the brand’s name on the Double Dare clock. The network in general shied away from corporate advertising in its early days because they did not want to “sell out” the kids or their creative process.
Gerry Labourne, who was the president of Nickelodeon until 1996, moved to Disney and helped to shape The Disney Channel. I always felt like Nick was the network of the ’90’s and Disney was the network of the ’00’s, but maybe this wall all due to one great children’s programmer! She also founded the Oxygen Network in 1998.
Roger Price, the director of You Can’t Do That On Television, brought a gun to a meeting with crew members and told them he would shoot them if they tried to give or sell any of the kids drugs.
Nickelodeon was contractually obligated to have activity on the stages at all times while occupying space at Universal Studios Orlando. When there wasn’t active production happening on the stages, they would send PAs to move cameras around and generally look busy during park hours. If you took at tour of the studios during the ’90’s, there’s a good chance you might have seen people pretending to work.
A pilot for a sequel to Clarissa Explains It All was produced for CBS but the network felt that audiences would not like how Clarissa broke the fourth wall, a staple of the original series. The new series was called Clarissa Now and showed her moving to New York City and pursuing a career in journalism. You can watch it on Youtube.

The Secret World of Alex Mack: The Switch

September 2, 2014September 2, 2014 ~ theveryspecialblog ~ 1 Comment

I don’t usually see prompts on the daily post that fit this blog, but today’s post caught my eye. Today’s prompt is to imagine that you have had a reverse-Big experience. I’m not sure if it’s possible to exist on this planet and have NOT seen that classic Tom Hanks movie, but– in case you’ve missed it or your memory is a bit rusty–Big is a movie about a little boy who wishes to be an adult. His wish comes true and he turns into this twelve year-old man-child.

Normally, I am of the opinion that being an adult is way cooler than being a kid. I feel more self-confident, I have more freedom, and I’m not forced into awful adolescent growing pains around kids I don’t really like. But recently, I’ve been feeling pretty overwhelmed with “grown up problems,” so the idea of being twelve years old again feels very welcoming. There would be so many things I wouldn’t have to worry about–like paying my bills and always eating a well balanced meal. Plus, believe it or not, I actually loved middle school. I thought it was a blast. Sure, sixth grade was definitely an adjustment (and full of the most heartache by far) but my memories of seventh and eighth grade are definitely some of the most fun of my life. Those memories are full of people I adored, but who I know nothing about these days. There were a few falling outs along the way and others I simply grew apart from. I guess being a reverse man-child (so child-woman?) would suck in the sense that I would have all of this foreknowledge. And being an adult in a child’s body seems much less innocent than being a child in an adults body. So I don’t know if I could honestly participate in all of the ridiculous things I did as a kid if I was suddenly “Zoltar-ed” back to childhood. But it sure would be fun to pass notes in history class and steal my best friend’s lip gloss again.

So how does this daily prompt relate to The Very Special Blog, you ask? Well, everyone always seems to think the grass is greener on the other side, including Alex Mack and her mom, Barbara. The Secret World of Alex Mack was a cool suburban sci-fi show that always managed to be a little spooky without being scary. Alex Mack is just an average girl who happens to be the victim of a chemical spill, which gave her special powers. These special powers include telekinesis and being able to dissolve into a mostly transparent goo. Alex’s mom gets caught up in her goo at the most timely manner (they have just been arguing about who has it harder college-student-mom or high-school-student-daughter) and the two switch bodies. Alex is lucky in that she has a super-smart sister, Annie, who is the only one who knows that she can morph into liquid. This also means that she has one person who will believe the utterly ridiculous fact that she has switched bodies with their mom.

Meanwhile, Alex’s mom tries to get back home, but she is forced into going to school when one of Alex’s friends finds her trying to sneak away from campus. Alex’s mom seems to know that she is in a child’s body but this does not keep her from challenging adults and calling herself a “grown woman” even though she’s like fourteen at the moment. That definitely is the suck-y part of being a kid. You are pretty much always at the mercy of other people. Sure, you grow up and you go to work and you cannot “ditch” work just like you cannot ditch school, but people never question it when you say you have to go to the bathroom or that you need to go home sick. I’m sure plenty of adults are fakers too…well I mean I know for a fact that they are…but you can’t be like “excuse me, it’s RUDE to leave the meeting to pee. Sit down and raise your hand before you speak.” On the flip side, Alex realizes how little time her mom has for herself because she’s super busy trying to run a family and also be a person. Also, Alex’s mom finds out she has super powers, the chemical plant that spilled stuff all over her sends out creepy men to take her away, and then it all turns out to be a dream! But just because it was a all a dream does not mean we failed to learn a very special lesson.

Very Special Lesson: Kids should be kids and adults should be adults. The grass will always look greener on the other side…but I really would like a break from decision making and fending for myself once in a while. Also, what’s the harm in a little chemical spill now and again?

Want to figure out what you’re own age-switch would be like? Check out the daily prompt here: Zoltar’s Revenge

Clarissa Explains It All: Hero Worship

July 24, 2014July 11, 2014 ~ theveryspecialblog ~ 2 Comments

Before Melissa Joan Hart was everyone’s favorite teenage witch, she played the coolest junior high schooler ever on Clarissa Explains It All. Clarissa writes articles for the school newspaper, has the best clothes, and a cool best friend who always enters by climbing a ladder to her window. My dad was always outraged at the inappropriateness of a teenage boy entering a girl’s window via ladder, but they only thing that made it inappropriate was him telling me it was inappropriate. I would still enter most rooms this way if possible. On a side note, I am astounded by the number of window seats in Clarissa’s house. I counted three in this episode alone. That sounds like a great place to live! But I digress.

In the world of very special episodes, there are a few go-to topics: substance use/abuse, 30-minute eating disorders, learning disabilities, and miscellaneous peer pressure. Clarissa Explains It All was a pretty cutting-edge show and thus could not fall prey to the cliches of very special episodes. So today I bring you a very special very special episode topic: stalking.

Eve is the new girl at school (as in All About Eve). At first it does not seem weird that Eve thinks Clarissa is the coolest (because duh, she is). Plus, Eve seems like a pretty great friend to have around. She hand delivers the new Nirvana tape along with research for Clarissa’s next opinion column. (Maybe Clarissa is like the godmother of blogging…) Then Eve starts to dress like Clarissa and begins begging for the inside scoop on her articles. Clarissa’s latest cutting edge piece is how virtual classrooms will take the place of actually going to school by the year 2000. Ah, if only.

Eve really starts to show her crazy when she overhears Clarissa and her bff Sam (aka cool guy who only enters the house via a ladder) talking about how they can use Clarissa’s school newspaper press pass to ride some of the monster trucks at a car show. Eve tells Clarissa there’s a last minute newspaper meeting and Clarissa generously offers for Eve to go with Sam to the car show. It’s so obvious that Eve is lying because she wants the opportunity to go to the car show and pretend to lead Clarissa’s life. But Clarissa is super nice and trusting, so she does not even notice that Eve is a psychopath until it is too late. Suddenly, Eve has totally taken on Clarissa’s personality and it is super creepy. She gets a whole new makeover and acts like she is the queen of the school newspaper. Everyone is totally into her because she’s cool like Clarissa. I guess they’re not worried about how this girl totally ripped of Clarissa’s personality. Maybe she was so shy they never noticed her when she was just regular Eve and now they’re all like “Oh cool, Clarissa has a twin sister who suddenly transferred to our school.” The whole situation really begins to mess with Clarissa’s brain and she hallucinates that her reflection is actually EVE!

Clarissa 8 — (Poor Melissa Joan Hart has been in some lighthearted sitcoms with weird hallucination.)

Clarissa’s mom tells her not to worry because eventually Eve will find her own path and give up on copying Clarissa. Clarissa’s mom was always super crunchy granola and maybe this attitude contributed to the warm welcome she offers to this girl who is not only stalking her daughter, but also stealing her identity. Still, this seems like such a cop-out. I’m not a mom, but Sorry, honey, I can’t think of how to help you, but I am sure your stalker will eventually get bored of you seems like the worst parenting ever in existence.

That's not Clarissa, it's Eve. And her mom is super fine with it. What?! — That’s not Clarissa, it’s Eve. And her mom is super fine with it. What?!

Things never get too bad though because Clarissa outwits Eve by planting a false story idea for a column that she know sucks and that she knows copycat Eve will steal.

Very Special Lesson: Stay away from creepers.