Laura’s friend Maxine is hosting a cool rooftop party, and some guy named Waldo has brought a bunch of mini-bottles in little compartments on the interior of his jacket like one of those guys who sold fake Rolex’s on the street in 1982. Laura tries to kick them out, but Maxine tells her to stop ruining her party. After the boys have had a few drinks, Laura is sulking by herself and giving everyone at the party some side-eye. Maxine tells her to lighten up and Laura has to admit that nothing bad has happened, so maybe she is over-reacting.
Then Urkel shows up and crashes the party. And even though he’s the lamest guy in school, he gets everyone at the party to “Do The Urkel” to a pop song called “Do The Urkel.” Like this guy has the Macarena of 1991 and somehow people are calling him uncool instead of trying to ride his coattails. I don’t get it.
Cool kid, Willie, is jealous that Urkel is commanding such a crowd without the benefit of alcohol–so he decides to get an unwitting Urkel smashed. Steve doesn’t notice the burn of the alcohol in the punch and simply assumes it’s mango flavoring. It doesn’t take long before he’s way more intoxicated than the rest of the party and everyone is laughing at him.
Then he decides to do The Urkel on the ledge of the building. He falls off and luckily catches on to another ledge at a lower level of the building. Laura’s Aunt Rachel, who is catering the party, walks across a clothing line like a tightrope in order to reach him. Then the two kids who brought the booze actually get arrested when the cops show up. I feel like we usually get a lecture or a heart to heart talk in these episodes, but nope. This is the real deal. Off to juvie!
The cool thing about this episode, is that Steve doesn’t get in trouble for drinking since he is so naive and this was really just a dangerous episode of bullying. So Carl makes him a hangover remedy and he’s so nice to him for once. Steve’s so pathetic right now, he can’t even be annoying. Oh yeah, and Steve vows never to drink again.
Very Special Lesson: Party punch is dangerous.
Meanwhile, DJ’s date has been too shy to handle all of the social interaction at the dance. So he’s decided to drink beers with a couple of other boys. He finds that the beers really take the edge off, but this does not impress DJ. She tells them how stupid they are, and attempts to show how ridiculous they look by holding a beer and mocking them.
But one of those preteen lame-os sprayed DJ with beer when she walked into the hallway! So she smells like beer, is holding beer, and is commenting about the beer to a group of peers. This looks pretty bad. But Uncle Jesse is a trusted adult who understands DJ’s integrity and he will believe that she’s just mocking them, right? Nope.
So Jesse takes DJ home, grounds her, and reports all of this to Danny and Joey. Okay, fine. Joey is such a softy, he’ll know she didn’t really do it. Danny will go upstairs and have a heart to heart with her and then he’ll see the truth, right? NOPE. They all sit downstairs chatting about how earlier kids start experimenting and how they can’t believe what she’s done. Then she gets the lecture a kid who has been drinking deserves–only she didn’t do anything except be in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Meanwhile, DJ has gotten Kimmy’s mom (Kimmy has parents who are actually involved in her life at this point) to drive her back to school so she can get Kevin to explain to her father what really happened. For some reason, Jesse and Danny need only this twelve-year old child–a relative stranger to them–to corroborate DJ’s story in order for them to believe her. Ugh. So then Jesse is all like sorry DJ, I just know that alcohol has really messed up some of my friends and I totally took that out on you because I love you so much. And DJ is all like yay you trust me again and you were just worried!
Only, Cory doesn’t know about these plans, so he gets his license alone with his friends. Then his dad says he can have the car after her runs a few errands, which will take two hours tops. But he comes back five hours later to an extremely pissed off Cory. Alan offers Cory the keys to his car provided that Cory be back in time for his birthday dinner in 45 minutes. Cory is livid because he hadn’t agreed to a birthday dinner and now he has no time for his road trip. But they’ve been having a birthday dinner every year of Cory’s life so Alan doesn’t understand what the fuss is about. Eric tries to tell Cory that his dad is just upset because Cory is his last son. But Cory is an insensitive teenager, so he tries to ditch his own birthday party.
When Shawn tells Alan that they’re trying to make a movie and need to leave the party, Alan informs them all that they have to be seventeen to see an R-Rated movie. And when he finds out they were trying to go to Atlantic City, he freaks out. And Cory freaks out too and is all like meh I just turned sixteen and that makes me an adult, and I want to leave my party and hang out with my friends. And Alan is all like really? “That’s the first ‘adult’ decision you want to make?” Hint: It’s not very “adult” to ditch the party your entire family is throwing for you.
le, Alan is feeling pretty bad about how everything unfolded. Ever the level headed mother, Amy tells him that Cory is just growing up and isn’t doing anything wrong. Alan says that he’s growing up too, and Amy reminds him that he hasn’t done anything wrong either. They’re both just figuring out how to shift into a new part of their relationship. And that’s why this show is so awesome! Mr. Feeney tells Alan about Cory (who has called him instead of his father), and Alan drives down to the courtroom.
Jen Chaney’s oral history about Clueless, the aptly titled 
Anyway, Jan Brady’s freak out happened a little earlier in life than mine. While cleaning out some old junk, the Brady’s find a picture of Jan that Jan doesn’t remember. But it turns out it’s actually a picture of Carol Brady’s Aunt Jenny (Imogene Coca)–who happened to look exactly like Jan as a child. So Jan writes to her and asks that they exchange current photos of each other. When Jan gets Aunt Jenny’s photo in the mail, she freaks out because she thinks she’ll be ugly in 40 years. Well geez, Jan she doesn’t look that bad. Jan decides she’ll grow up to be a missionary because she’s ugly, and that is all that is left for her in life. But when Aunt Jenny comes to visit, she has to confront her fears face to face.
All of the kids think Aunt Jenny is super cool. She’s a wealthy, world traveler who knows loads of famous people. But Jan treats her like crap. Carol and Mike try to explain away Jan’s behavior as shyness, but Aunt Jenny doesn’t buy it. They finally tell her that Jan thinks she’s ugly and worries she’ll grow up to be ugly to. Aunt Jenny is super cool about it and sits Jan down to talk about how plastic surgery is always an option, but she is just fine with her looks because they make her unique. She also gets loads of marriage proposals that she always turns down, which seems to reassure Jan more than I wish it did. Then she decides she wants to grow up to be just like Aunt Jenny and her parents try to tell her (once again) that she can’t predict how she’ll turn out as a grown up.
Last night on “Girl Meets Hurricane” Maya harasses Shawn into giving her fatherly advice. I haven’t watched this show since Eric guest starred, so I’m not sure if this relationship is even reasonable. I have a feeling that it isn’t. She starts mock-beating him up and the clucks like a chicken when he won’t give her advice. So disrespectful. Kids these days.
But what could possibly make Shawn not want to play Dad, right?? Well, Angela shows up. Corey announces her presence and then she just shows up in Topanga’s bakery. It’s really odd and unexplained. Corey’s kid Riley is a total jerk to her because she’s upset that Angela might take Shawn away from Maya’s mom. Smh. Go to the mall and do kid things and stop being so obsessed with the grownups in your life!
THIS is the weirdest television episode ever. While Maya and Riley sit with their parents eavesdropping in the courtyard, Angela tells Shawn that her husband wants to have kids. She’s nervous and needs her ex-boyfriend’s reassurances that she would be a good mom. I don’t know about you but, if I was a Disney Mom I would not want my kids watching this demented shit.
The Very Special Blog 