Growing Pains: Thank God It’s Friday

September 4, 2014August 11, 2014 ~ theveryspecialblog ~ 5 Comments

If you’re a close reader, you may have already deduced that this episode takes place on a Friday. Everyone except for Mike is at home watching TV. Carol is at home because her boyfriend is grounded and apparently she has no other friends Ben is home because he is nine years old, and Jason and Maggie are tired form the workweek.

So from here on out we’re basically only paying attention to Mike. While innocently hanging out a local pizza parlor, Mike and hi s friends get invited to a college party. Thankfully, this party is a lot realistically depicted than the frat party on Full House. The guys get to the party and suddenly they are on the set of Miami Vice. Everyone is rich and everyone is doing coke in the bathroom. But like everyone is doing coke, so I am confused as to why they need the secrecy of the bathroom.

At the party, Mike chats up the ladies with smooth lines like this one.

So far on The Very Special Blog we’ve been covering the “gateway” drugs. We’ve been playing softball, kids, and things are about to get serious. A hot college girl invites Mike to “got to the john” with her and offers to split a minute amount of coke with him. Mike manages to dodge her for a second, and in the mean time runs into an old friend, Lana. He confides in her that there is coke at the party and she laughs in his face all like duh that is the point of the party, Mike.

Mike is now Andrew McCarthy from Less than Zero and is all like everyone I know does coke ahhhhh! And guess where the kids got the coke for this party? They took it form the absentee parents whose house they are currently wrecking. Not only is everyone doing drugs, but also they’re doing stolen drugs!! I guess it makes sense that they didn’t pay for the coke though because they’re sharing it with everyone at the party like it’s Chex Mix, but coke is one expensive party treat, my friend

Also, Mike has a 1 am curfew. What gives? I feel like my parents always made me be home by midnight and that was for like special occasions. Mike doesn’t do coke and then he feels like a total loser. But he realizes his health is more important than being cool.

At the end of the episode, Jason locks the door and puts the chain on. We zoom in on the chain as the camera fades to black, safely assured that the drugs of Long Island will stay out of our suburban homes.

Then there’s an awesome PSA at the end:

Screen Shot 2014-07-29 at 8.36.22 PM — I bet child labor laws insisted he be paid

I wish he still felt this way... — I wish he still felt this way

Very Special Lesson: Friends don’t let friends go to the bathroom.

The Secret World of Alex Mack: The Switch

September 2, 2014September 2, 2014 ~ theveryspecialblog ~ 1 Comment

I don’t usually see prompts on the daily post that fit this blog, but today’s post caught my eye. Today’s prompt is to imagine that you have had a reverse-Big experience. I’m not sure if it’s possible to exist on this planet and have NOT seen that classic Tom Hanks movie, but– in case you’ve missed it or your memory is a bit rusty–Big is a movie about a little boy who wishes to be an adult. His wish comes true and he turns into this twelve year-old man-child.

Normally, I am of the opinion that being an adult is way cooler than being a kid. I feel more self-confident, I have more freedom, and I’m not forced into awful adolescent growing pains around kids I don’t really like. But recently, I’ve been feeling pretty overwhelmed with “grown up problems,” so the idea of being twelve years old again feels very welcoming. There would be so many things I wouldn’t have to worry about–like paying my bills and always eating a well balanced meal. Plus, believe it or not, I actually loved middle school. I thought it was a blast. Sure, sixth grade was definitely an adjustment (and full of the most heartache by far) but my memories of seventh and eighth grade are definitely some of the most fun of my life. Those memories are full of people I adored, but who I know nothing about these days. There were a few falling outs along the way and others I simply grew apart from. I guess being a reverse man-child (so child-woman?) would suck in the sense that I would have all of this foreknowledge. And being an adult in a child’s body seems much less innocent than being a child in an adults body. So I don’t know if I could honestly participate in all of the ridiculous things I did as a kid if I was suddenly “Zoltar-ed” back to childhood. But it sure would be fun to pass notes in history class and steal my best friend’s lip gloss again.

So how does this daily prompt relate to The Very Special Blog, you ask? Well, everyone always seems to think the grass is greener on the other side, including Alex Mack and her mom, Barbara. The Secret World of Alex Mack was a cool suburban sci-fi show that always managed to be a little spooky without being scary. Alex Mack is just an average girl who happens to be the victim of a chemical spill, which gave her special powers. These special powers include telekinesis and being able to dissolve into a mostly transparent goo. Alex’s mom gets caught up in her goo at the most timely manner (they have just been arguing about who has it harder college-student-mom or high-school-student-daughter) and the two switch bodies. Alex is lucky in that she has a super-smart sister, Annie, who is the only one who knows that she can morph into liquid. This also means that she has one person who will believe the utterly ridiculous fact that she has switched bodies with their mom.

Meanwhile, Alex’s mom tries to get back home, but she is forced into going to school when one of Alex’s friends finds her trying to sneak away from campus. Alex’s mom seems to know that she is in a child’s body but this does not keep her from challenging adults and calling herself a “grown woman” even though she’s like fourteen at the moment. That definitely is the suck-y part of being a kid. You are pretty much always at the mercy of other people. Sure, you grow up and you go to work and you cannot “ditch” work just like you cannot ditch school, but people never question it when you say you have to go to the bathroom or that you need to go home sick. I’m sure plenty of adults are fakers too…well I mean I know for a fact that they are…but you can’t be like “excuse me, it’s RUDE to leave the meeting to pee. Sit down and raise your hand before you speak.” On the flip side, Alex realizes how little time her mom has for herself because she’s super busy trying to run a family and also be a person. Also, Alex’s mom finds out she has super powers, the chemical plant that spilled stuff all over her sends out creepy men to take her away, and then it all turns out to be a dream! But just because it was a all a dream does not mean we failed to learn a very special lesson.

Very Special Lesson: Kids should be kids and adults should be adults. The grass will always look greener on the other side…but I really would like a break from decision making and fending for myself once in a while. Also, what’s the harm in a little chemical spill now and again?

Want to figure out what you’re own age-switch would be like? Check out the daily prompt here: Zoltar’s Revenge

Friends Don’t Let Friends Drive Power Wheels

Image ~ September 1, 2014August 11, 2014 ~ theveryspecialblog ~ Leave a comment

The Very Best Very Special Hawaiian Episode

August 29, 2014August 21, 2014 ~ theveryspecialblog ~ 4 Comments

It’s time for the ultimate showdown. It is time to see who will be named the “champion of vacation episode champions.”

Who will emerge victorious from this epic battle of sitcom family versus sitcom family? Will it the be the Bad-Luck-Bradys or the marooned Tanners?

Let’s turn our attention to the four pillars of VSE: Hawaiian Style:

Overall Plot. I’m not sure if it is the fact that the Brady Bunch Hawaiian episode feels so played out (it has been parodied and rerun at least seventy-seven thousand times),but I really feel more drawn to the Full House plot. I almost want to detract a point for Aunt Becky magically having a couple of different outfits while stranded on the desert island, but they already made a Gilligan’s Island episode within the script, calling Danny the “Skipper” an then yelling at him as the “Skipper” once he strands them on the deserted island, so even this plot error feels sort of smart. I cannot believe I’m giving Full House points for plot, but I found the episode to be better paced and more entertaining than the Brady episodes. There were a lot of episodes that comprised the Brady vacation, so maybe they could have benefited from some editing. Either way, the point goes to Full House on this one.

Music. I still prefer the dulcet tones of Don Ho to John Stamos’s impersonation of Elvis. Plus, the soundtrack to the Brady vacation is pretty amazing all throughout. I would totally like to make a Brady-Hawaii Playlist and go chill on a beach for a little while. The point for music definitely goes to The Brady Bunch.

Vacation Attire. This is such a tough one. As I have said before, I love what the Bradys are wearing. However, I think that Full House wins this one. The makeup department clearly put a lot of work into their hair and it paid off. Steph’s cute bouncy curls are way sassier than Cindy’s (who was possibly forced into wearing a wig at this point) and more fun in general. Also, DJ pretty much wins the beachy hair award that I’ve never been able to attain. Once again, I’d like to pay my respects to Uncle Jesse’s palazzo pants, but I have to give Aunt Becky’s floral print sundresses equal credit. And then there are all of the adorable outfits they put little Michelle in. It’s hard to beat a toddler’s fashion, so the Bradys really shouldn’t take this loss too hard. They put up a good fight.

Integration of Hawaiian Setting. I still want to give the Bradys mad props for paying their respects to the USS Arizona, especially since all of the actors seem genuinely moved at the site, but overall I believe that Full House shows more of what the average family might be able to experience on a Hawaiian vacation. Danny might seem like a jerk for forcing his family to interact at all times, but I think that his rigidity has made for a very sneaky tourism video. Hawaii has something for everyone: the casual golfer, the relaxed naturalist, the enthusiastic historian, the film buff, and those who want to watch their boat float away while stranded on the wrong side of a well-populated island.

Point Break Down:
The Brady Bunch: Music (1 pt) = 1 point

Full House: Vacation Attire (1 pt) + Integration of Hawaiian Setting (1 pt) + Overall Plot (2 pts) 4 pts

Champion of Vacation Episode Champions: Full House

Boy Meets World vs. The Brady Bunch

August 28, 2014August 20, 2014 ~ theveryspecialblog ~ 4 Comments

This is some stiff competition, you guys. The final semi-final round is upon us. This is the penultimate post before we find out once and for all which of our six sitcoms took the best vacation to Hawaii! As you may recall, all of the Brady’s got to go to Hawaii on business with Mr. Brady. They almost died because of a “tabu” amulet, but luckily they managed to return the amulet to a creepy cave, thus avoiding total destruction, and ended up having a lovely family vacation.

But over at Boy Meets World, Corey and To boy-meets-world panga are finally on their honeymoon! Eric messes up their wedding night by sending Corey and Topanga to a honeymoon suite pretending to be another couple. The best-man/wacky-brother decides to make it up to them by lightly stalking them on their honeymoon in order to make sure everything goes perfectly. Corey and Topanga have such a good time on their honeymoon that Corey pressures Topanga into not returning to Philadelphia and instead spending the rest of their lives at the Hawaiian resort. Corey manages to make enough money painting celebrity heads onto coconuts, which all of the tourists love. They actually end up being pretty rich and very popular. The island is really weird to be honest. Everyone relocated from Ohio and managed to remain pasty white. They also use soup as deodorant?

Eventually, Corey and Topanga realize how much they miss their family. Mostly, because Corey paints a couple of coconuts to look like Shawn and Mr. Feeney and has absolutely no memory of doing so. (As it turns out, Eric actually painted them and then was held captive by the Ohioan-Hawaiian clan.)

I think these two episodes will be hard to compare, but here we go! The Brady Bunch clearly wins on integration of Hawaiian setting. I’m pretty sure everything except for 4 seconds of stock footage was filmed on a soundstage in Boy Meets World. They also win on overall vacation attire as well, in part because the late-90’s prep fashion can never compare to late-mod meets suburban-hippie garb. Even though I love the “adorkable” Brady’s, the writing on Boy Meets World is (unsurprisingly) much tighter and manages to be genuinely heartfelt even when it is ridiculous, so they win on overall plot. The Brady Bunch soundtrack is solid and even features Don Ho singing to little Bobby and Cindy, which of course the canned elevator music of Boy Meets World‘s Hawaii just cannot match.

Point Break Down:
The Brady Bunch: Music (1 pt) + Vacation Attire (1 pt) + Integration of Hawaiian Setting (1 pt) = 3 pts

Boy Meets World: Overall Plot (2 pts) = 2 pts

Very Special Winner: The Brady Bunch

The as yet undefeated Bradys advance to the final round. Will they have the best Hawaiian Vacation ever??

Growing Pains vs. Full House

August 27, 2014August 20, 2014 ~ theveryspecialblog ~ 2 Comments

Hi friends! It’s time for another installment of VSE: Hawaiian Style! In our first semi-final match up, the victorious Growing Pains faces off with the hitherto unchallenged Full House.

Let’s start off with a brief recap of what’s going on in Growing Pains. When we last saw the Seavers, Carol and Mike were off pursuing island romances, Maggie was struggling to balance her career with her family, Jason was stressed because his family didn’t want to spend time together, and Ben was just hanging out being a kid.

Meanwhile on Full House, Joey also falls in love with a native Hawaiian because that is what everyone does when traveling to Hawaii. Resident patriarch Danny tries to force his reluctant family into doing everything together (sound familiar?). And the similarities don’t end there! The Tanner family ends up stranded on a desert island in a much more dire albeit similar situation to the Seavers being stranded mid-ocean…on a boat that Jason Seaver intentionally sabotaged for the sake of family together-ness.

But who had the best self-imposed isolation in the name of family bonding? Who learned the most about the importance of interpersonal relationships through their time in the tropics?

As far as overall plot is concerned, I’d have to say that Full House wins that category. The way that Danny forces everyone to do participate as a group in something that each person enjoys (everyone gets bored watching Joey play golf, everyone gets bored trekking to Elvis movie locations with Jessie, and so on) really highlights the importance of family separateness. I think that’s an important very special lesson that we often overlook. I also think this would have been a great opportunity for a Gilligan’s Island-style Full House spin off. I wish we could have seen an episode arc where they’re stuck on the island and Jesse tries to build a raft but Joey is also organizing a talent competition. I feel like that would have been an opportunity for the Joey character to actually do something because I could never figure out exactly why he was around in the regular series. Becky already managed to change form a bikini into a sundress even though their boat floated away and she brought no luggage on this day trip.

The point for fashion also has to go to Full House as well. John Stamos is killing it with some palazzo pants and everyone is rocking the floral prints. I’m still giving Growing Pains the music category, not because I love Christopher Cross but rather because I hate Elvis impersonators. The end of the episode features John Stamos singing “Rock a Hula” because of course they weren’t really stranded, they were just on a deserted portion of the island where they were trying to attend a big luau/arena concert. I feel like neither episode outperformed the other in terms of overall integration of the Hawaiian setting, so I’ll call that a tie and disregard it in the point breakdown.

Point Break Down:

Full House: Overall Plot (2 pts) + Vacation Attire (1 pt) = 3 pts

Growing Pains: Music (1 pt) = 1 pt

Very Special Winner: Full House

Breaking News: Full House Revival!

August 26, 2014 ~ theveryspecialblog ~ 4 Comments

We interrupt regularly scheduled programming to inform you that TV Guide is reporting a Full House revival a la Girl Meets World (but hopefully 75,000 times better). All of the original cast members are attached to the revival except for Lori Loughlin (Aunt Becky) and unsurprisingly Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen.

What do you think they’ll do about the Michelle’s absence?
–Another freak horseback riding except this time she did not fair so well?
–Will they go meta and explain her estrangement from the family by saying she’s too busy with her burgeoning fashion career to hang out in a San Francisco row house?

Or if Michelle does show up, how will they explain that? MK & A cannot play the same character these days. They look vastly different from one another!
–Will they recast?
–Maybe Michelle has an alter-ego that we only see in dream sequences. If so, who will be the main Michelle? Mary-Kate? Ashley? Oh who am I kidding, neither of them will ever sign on for this.

I also hope that Uncle Jesse’s children are not involved. Those kids were SO annoying. I wish he and Aunt Becky could have simply been childless. There were enough kids in that house already and that attic was way too small for a family of four.

Step by Step vs. The Brady Bunch

August 26, 2014August 13, 2014 ~ theveryspecialblog ~ 4 Comments

Welcome back to VSE: Hawaiian Style! Today two blended families face off in the ultimate Hawaiian vacation challenge. Let’s start with a brief summary shall we?

In The Brady Bunch, Mike Brady’s architectural firm pays for he and all of his family (including their housekeeper) to spend a few weeks in Hawaii so he can supervise a construction site. Talk about fringe benefits, right? Unless, you’ve been living under a rock for all of brady-bunch-hulu your life, then you probably know that the youngest boy, Bobby, finds a “cursed” amulet at the construction site. He mistakes it for a good luck charm, but it seems to be wreaking havoc on his family’s entire vacation. It makes poor housekeeper/nanny-person, Alice throw her back out when she wears it during a hula lesson. And it even near-murders his oldest brother, Greg, in a freak surfing accident. The entire family races into the water to try to find in the current except for Carol, but she’s only his step-mom anyway, right? An another note, the kids learn a lot about Pearl Harbor and even visit the USS Arizona. They check out the local flora an fauna along as well, managing to pick up a tarantula on the way–that’s the amulet again! The Brady’s finally find out that the only way to get rid of their bad luck is to return the amulet to the sacred ground from whence it came.

Okay let’s jump twentyish years in the future to another blended family with Step by Step. You can tell that this is a totally distinct series because instead of the mom having three girls and the dad having three boys, the dad has 2 boys and a girl and the mom has 1 boy and 2 girls. See how much more normal and believable that is? The Lambert-Foster family wins an all expenses paid trip to Hawaii. One of the girls, Dana, is all piss step_320 ed that she has to go to Hawaii because it will interfere with her study schedule. But don’t worry, she falls in love in Hawaii and becomes the center of this two part episode. She decides after a few days that she wants to marry this dude (he’s a 22 year old rich entrepreneur so you can see the attraction). Meanwhile, Suzanne Somers can’t relax on vacation and keeps trying to create tasks for herself. I think this is the most realistic part of this episode. The rest of the kids enter a sandcastle building contest, which is a challenge for them because they are from Wisconsin, but it’s pretty boring so that’s the last I’ll mention of it. Dana’s mom freaks out because she’s worried Dana will get married without her permission (which I didn’t know was possible at seventeen but I guess it is in the TV world?) Ultimately, Dana and her boyfriend (whose name I don’t even know) decide to split up because he doesn’t want her to go to college. So that’s pretty crappy. Yeah I think she made the right choice here.

Point Break Down:
The Brady Bunch: Music (1 pt) + Vacation Attire (1 pt) +Integration of Hawaiian Setting (1 pt) +Overall Plot (2 pts) = 5 pts

Step by Step: 0 pts
This was a terrible episode all around and The Brady Bunch wins by a landslide.

Very Special Winner: The Brady Bunch

Growing Pains vs. Saved by the Bell

August 25, 2014August 20, 2014 ~ theveryspecialblog ~ 2 Comments

In the first round of the VSE: Hawaiian Style competition we have Growing Pains vs. Saved by the Bell. Let’s start with a brief summary of both episodes shall we? In Growing Pains, the Seavers head to Malibu for a vacation that nobody but Jason, the father, and youngest son Ben are interested in. Maggie and the two oldest children are way too busy with their lives in Long Island to be interested in Hawaii. The entire episode is basically about how they can’t deal with interacting as a family, and also Mike ends up dating a woman with a two year old child even though he’s like seventeen. They make a point of saying that she “got married early” and Jason counsels Mike on taking more responsibility in his life, which he does by babysitting her kid while she works as a hula dancer.

There’s a lot going on in Saved by the Bell. I’ll try to make this as succinct as possible. The gang has to save Kelly’s grandfather’s hotel from a corrupt competitor, Zack also falls head over heels for a Hawaiian with a child (t saved by the bell hawaiian style his one is 6 though and he’s only 10 years older than the kid so woah like wtf Saved by the Bell), and Screech is kidnapped by a local tribe and appointed their chief. If you did not find “Running Zack” to be offensive enough to indigenous people then perhaps this is the episode for you. Also, the corrupt competitor’s lawyer flirts with Kelly and tricks her into getting her grandfather to almost sell the land, so that’s also sketch on multiple levels. Lisa, Slater, and Jessie have a boring bet about whether or not Jessie and Slater can keep from fighting for the duration of the trip, which of course they cannot.

Each episode features a special song. Growing Pains uses Christopher Cross’s “Swept Away” for at least three montages and it begins to outlive its usefulness as a plot tool. Here’s the end montage from the episode:

Saved by the Bell definitely wins on the featured song front because it uses “Summertime” by DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince in place of the usual opening credits.

While Saved by the Bell wins on the music front, I’m a sucker for the Seavers and I have to say that the Growing Pains episode warms my heart way more. Plus, Saved by the Bell is really not performing up to par here. Yes, I have high standards for a Saturday morning TV show, and yes, I will hold that show to those high standards in my role as Judge Supreme in the competition for this entirely fabricated yet very important award. Plus, I like the family togetherness. And even though Maggie stupidly quits her job in order to return to the vacation, I do like the idea that she’s making an effort to get her priorities straight. Luckily, Jason is a psychiatrist who makes tons of money on writing prescriptions for twenty minute visits with clients, so I think they can handle her being unemployed for a little bit.

Even though I love the Growing Pains plot, I am not digging their matching Hawaiian shirts and thus, unsurprisingly, Saved by the Bell gets the point for fashion. However, Saved by the Bell has once again succeeded in achieving a culturally insensitive plot line with the whole Screech-is-chief thing. Almost by default, I have to give Growing Pains the point for successful integration of the Hawaiian setting. After all, that luau looked pretty nice and actual Hawaiians were performing instead of Jessie, Kelly, and Lisa.

Point Break Down:

Saved by the Bell: Music (1 pt) + Vacation Attire (1 pt) = 2 pts

Growing Pains: Overall Plot (2 pts) + Integration of Hawaiian Setting (1 pt) = 3 pts

Very Special Winner: Growing Pains

Sorry, Saved by the Bell, you were uncharacteristically creepy and I think we can all tell form this set of episodes that Tiffani Theissen and Elizabeth Berkley were about to ditch you.

Golden Girls: Catch that Cheesecake! (A Very Special DIY)

August 23, 2014August 23, 2014 ~ theveryspecialblog ~ 7 Comments

During the summer, my office gets a bit slow on Friday’s. Sadly, those quiet times are almost gone with the Autumn wind, but I’d like to share with you what I did last Friday in my downtime.

A day or so earlier, I saw an Etsy store called Nerd Girl Wensi featured on a Buzzfeed list. I decided to checkout the store because I liked what I saw in the list, and that’s where I found these:

I was like, OMG I need some of those Rose Nylund earrings! So I selected the character from the drop down tab, and then I noticed that I had to select a “type.” I figured this was like hook or stud, but then I found that it’s a whole gigantic list of things, including “game piece.” “Oh my”, I thought to myself, “what could you possibly do with a set of Golden Girls game pieces?” So I came up with this:

The Golden Girls: Catch that Cheesecake!

Dorothy, Sophia, Rose, and Blanche had a delicious cheesecake stashed in the fridge, but someone has stolen their late night snack! Now, they must find the culprit and determine the hiding spot. The road before them will be treacherous. Rose and Sophia will tell many stories. Will Dorothy become the victim of her own biting sarcasm? Will Blanche manage to stay on task or abandon the search for a sailor/doctor/random man at any of the search locations? The journey will be even more difficult because Rose cannot recall which cheesecake she purchased. Was it the classic, the pistachio, the banana cream, the double chocolate fudge, or the strawberry? It’s up to you to help guide them through the search for the ultimate cheesecake!

Culprits:

Stan–Dorothy’s ex-husband

The Ghost of Sal–Sophia’s deceased husband

The Sunshine Cadets–the Girl Scout-like troop that Rose runs

Dreyfuss-the stray dog that Rose found at the supermarket

Blanche–after not sleeping for days because she was writing the “Great Southern Novel”

Locations:

The Lanai (the sunporch)

The Rusty Anchor (Blanche’s favorite seedy bar)

Shady Pines (Sophia’s nursing home)

The set of Grab that Dough! (The game show where the girls won nothing but a lifetime supply of soup.)

The Golden Palace (that hotel Sophia, Rose, and Blanche eventually bought)

Cheesecake Type:
Classic
Pistachio
Banana Cream
Double Chocolate Fudge
Strawberry

This is clearly incredibly influenced by Clue. This inspiration is largely due to the fact that it’s the only board game I truly understand on a mechanically level. I also wanted to make some of the spaces gold, but I ran out of time. I thought it would be cool to have “Golden Ticket” cards that you picked up like action cards if you land on the space. So they could say things like Dorothy sabotaged your story with her sarcasm, lose a turn. Or Tell your own St. Olaf story and advance two spaces.

Here’s my game board. The ends are a little curled up because I had to draw it on a piece of printer paper, but you get the idea: