Boy Meets World: Everybody Loves Stewart

I’ve been watching The Grinder lately. It’s not the best show, but Rob Lowe is always entertaining and I’m really loving that Fred Savage is acting again! So here’s a little reminder of that time he guest starred on Boy Meets World.

This episode is weird because Fred Savage plays the “cool young professor,” Stewart, and no one notices that he looks exactly like his brother Ben Savage, a.k.a. Corey. This guy is so cool. He treats them like friends and plays pool with them after school. Everything you ever wanted in college was to chill with your professors in the student union, right?

Eric doesn’t like him. This is because Eric realizes he’s not a great teacher like their mentor, Mr. Feeney. Everyone else is too into Stewart’s suave style to realize he’s not that great. So Topanga is super relaxed when Stewart shows up at her dorm room to go over a paper. He has conveniently forgotten to bring Angela’s paper, so she leaves them all alone to discuss the “gray areas” of morality. Even when he starts using his attraction to Topanga as an example of “crossing the line,” she still seems to think he’s just an edgy educator. Then he puts his hand on her hand, which is positioned dangerously close to her crotch and things get a little intense on Boy Meets World.

But then before anything happens, he lifts up her hand and says, “See where it gets gray.” Ugh, no that wasn’t gray. That was creepy, Professor Creeper. Then he starts creepily stroking her hair. Yuck. And when she tells him to leave he says, “that’s not what you want.” Ughhhhhhhh this is not  how Kevin from The Wonder Years is supposed to behave!

Anyway, Stewart leaves without anything more gross transpiring because Corey comes to visit Topanga and interrupts them.  But Corey tracks him down at the student union once Topanga reveals how sketchy their interaction was. Then Corey kind of assaults him in the heat of the moment, which causes Stewart to fall back wards through the door to the student union. Then Stewart announces in front of everyone that Corey will be kicked out of college.
No one really knows what to do, so Topanga approaches Stewart and tells him to make sure Corey isn’t kicked out of college or she will tell the dean that he behaved inappropriately. I feel like she could bypass Stewart on this one and just go straight to the dean, but anyway she gives him this ultimatum and he tells her he’s going to tell the dean that it was the other way around and Topanga was the aggressor. Ultimate douche bag.

I’d just like to say that this is the most depressing episode of Boy Meets World ever. Fred Savage is such a douche bag. And when Topanga calls him out in the hearing the female dean tries to silence her. And then Corey interrupts and gets to speak on behalf of Topanga! Then Shawn gets a moment too! Why won’t the let Topanga speak!!

The dean does seem to figure out what’s up though because she only suspends Corey for one day. Then she tells he awful Stewart he isn’t a teacher. She doesn’t fire him, but she makes it clear she’s going to keep an eye on him. But like. I feel like she should have fired him. Or at least suspended him pending some sort of investigation. Ugh, I’m just going to go back to watching The Grinder where Fred Savage is not an asshole.

Very Special Lesson: If someone you know gets creeped on major then let that person tell you how to respond. I’m disturbed that no one let Topanga have a say in this.

Girl Meets World: Girl Meets Creativity

Two Girl Meets World episodes in a row? What have I become?? I’ve become swamped by work. I work 7 days a week on salary and I want to cry and can we please get that new overtime law passed? Anyway, Girl Meets World episodes are like 20 minutes long and have improved to the point where they don’t make me cringe all the time. Plus, this is the second week in a row where an original BMW cast-member is chilling with the GMW team.

Screen Shot 2015-08-22 at 7.54.28 PMIn this episode, the affluent and by-far newest looking public school in New York city, John Quincy Middle School, is cutting art, dance, and music classes. I felt like this had to be a charter school because of how ridiculous this schools resources are but looks like I stand corrected. Anyway, now everyone is up-in-arms because the “underprivileged” character, Maya, cannot paint anymore. Uh, hello you live in New York City–a place where public schools suck and art is widely accessible. So I don’t get the drama of this episode, but what’s new? Except that public schools should have art, duh.

Screen Shot 2015-08-22 at 7.55.25 PMAnyway, the kids yell at Mr. Turner (superintendent, remember) and then they perform their love of art in front of the school board. Their performances suck and sort of just made me agree with the school board since obviously no one taught these kids anything anyway. But then Farkle alternates between rattling off prime numbers and doing a beautiful tap dance and like I am moved. I mean this kid is a good dancer but like the juxtaposition is just speaking to me right now. (This is your brain on over a month of 80 hour work weeks).

Screen Shot 2015-08-22 at 7.55.56 PMThen Riley does another interpretive dance and I once again do not care that these programs are losing funding. They need to remove her from this meeting, seriously. Then it turns out that one of the board members is a studio art major. And so then she has a moral dilemma. With only 3 minutes left, how will it end?? They decide to like put off the decision and try to be more creative, I think.

Screen Shot 2015-08-22 at 7.55.16 PMThere are still so many unanswered Mr. Turner questions. He an Shawn have yet to have screen time together. I need them to face-off. There must be a day of reckoning. Why did Mr. Turner heal, never to bond with Shawn again? Why did he only teach classes with Minkus on the other side of the school? And where can I buy a cool shirt like, Auggie is wearing? I need answers!

Boy Meets World: Brother Brother

Shawn and Topanga are both going away for the summer, which leaves Cory totally depressed. Meanwhile, Eric has been rejected from every single college he has applied to, and is now hoping North Southwestern San Diego State University (NSWSDSU) will accept him off the wait-list. Eric’s hoping to have some quality time with Corey before he leaves home, but Cory resents Eric for only wanting to hang out with him now that he’s leaving. He plans to pack up his room in a week and spend the entire summer road-tripping to California. Like woah. I did not have that much mobility right after I graduated from high school, but more power to you, Eric.

After a brutal cat-fight with Cory, Eric decides it would be best to leave the following day instead of the following week. Alan tries to talk him out of it, noting that he technically hasn’t been accepted to college yet. He agrees to wait one more day, so his parents can have a goodbye dinner for him. (The Matthews Family loves big deal dinners.) And Alan advises him to spend the next day figuring out what is upsetting Cory.

In the height of melodrama, Cory makes an impassioned speech at Eric’s goodbye dinner. He wishes him a nice life because he’s probably moving out forever from the room they’ve shared for fifteen years–and they don’t even know each other. Um. Okay. False. I get that you’re bummed this is happening but I’d just like to point out that Eric has been a pretty amazing brother to Cory: He’s a guest speaker in Cory’s 6th grade class, he makes Cory and Shawn a guide to high school on their first day, and earlier this season they even planned a rave together. So like Cory is just being super whiny and raining on everyone else’s parade because he’s lonely. But then again he is fifteen, so I guess that’s to be expected.

The next morning Cory says goodbye (almost tearfully) to Shawn and Topanga. Eric shows up just after they leave and finds a lonely Cory playing basketball and talking to himself. Cory apologizes to Eric about being a jerk. He also admits to stealing Eric’s college acceptance letter from the mailbox because he didn’t want him to leave. He feels like they’re finally getting to be friends (I guess the rave earlier this season was a real bonding moment) instead of being just brothers. Only, it turns out that letter is a rejection letter, and Eric has nowhere to go.

Eric admits that his expectations were a bit unrealistic, since he slacked off for all but the last few months of his high school career. But Cory encourages him to take a few classes over the summer, and apply again to an even better school. That’s still a major uphill battle for a guy who barely graduated from high school, but that’s not the point. The point is that Eric’s always been the supportive big brother for Cory (even though he’s been whining for this entire episode) and now it’s Cory’s turn to be the supportive one. That’s the first time in this entire 30-minute bitch-fest that Cory has actually demonstrated the kind of friendship that he demands from Eric. Omg. The feels. I think I’m going to cry. But seriously, what other hilarious sitcom is also this real in terms of human emotion. Certainly NOT Girl Meets World. New Theory: Boy Meets World  is Cheers for the children of the 90’s. It’s all fun and games and harassment until you really need someone and they’re surprisingly deep.

Then Eric decides that Cory should come on his road trip with him and Amy and Alan bankroll the entire thing because they’re going to look at colleges across America. Like as a potential-one-day-maybe-parent I’m a little freaked out by the idea of an eighteen year-old and a fifteen year-old crossing America alone together in the days before cell phones, but if my kids were Eric and Cory, I’d like to think I’d be open to it.

Very Special Lesson: THIS ENTIRE SHOW IS A VERY SPECIAL LESSON YOU GUYS! (I think work stress is making me more emotional about television than I should be BUT MY FEELINGS ARE REAL!)

Girl Meets Mr. Turner

Those rascally kids at John Quincy Adams Middle School have scared off their English teacher! And so they get a lady version of Mr. Turner. She walks into the room wearing leather of the motorcycle variety. Her first English lesson involves handing them all band new copies of Batman: The Dark Knight Returns. So. I would like to sign up for this 8th grade English class please.

Riley, little disrespectful brat, says to the cool new teacher, “Um. Aren’t you supposed to be teaching us the important books?” RUDE. The cool teacher tells her it is important. She also tells the class to call her by her first name, Harper. And that they will “figure out” her namesake.

Alas, this revolutionary teaching is short-lived. The principal sees “comic books” out on the desks and shames Harper into teaching To Kill a Mockingbird instead. I guess those kids will be figuring out that namesake sooner rather than later. But maybe not. Harper defies the principal’s orders and proceeds with teaching The Dark Knight Returns. 

At dinner, the girls are so psyched about their homework that they’re rushing through everything. Topanga asks them what’s up and they talk about how cool the new teacher is. Recognizing that they are describing a lady version of Mr. Turner, Topanga asks Cory if he was on the search committee for the new teacher, and he replies that he was. And then they tell their children how they had one teacher other than Mr. Feeny and that Mr. Feeny was that teacher’s principal.And the kids are like No, way would one teacher teach you forever AND be your principal in today’s world. And Cory is all like, “we’ll see.”

The next day the principal fires Harper and won’t even let her explain her lesson plan. To be fair, as a new teacher she probably should have explained her lesson plan as soon as he asked her to teach a different book. But no, she’s a rebel and she decide to just ignore him and continue doing what she was doing. Maya and Riley get Cory to intervene and he’s all like, “how can you possible fire someone like her?” And then he does that whole if she goes, I go thing. So they both get fired.

But Topanga’s all lawyer-y and she’s all like NOPE. A principal can’t fire a tenured public school teacher. Duh. So now the principal will have to take this up with the superintendent, and he can fire both of them. Except, no. He cannot. An independent hearing officer is responsible for dismissing tenured teachers in New York City and it is basically impossible to dismiss a tenured teacher. But fine, since this is the freaking twilight zone of Boy Meets World, let’s just take it up with the superintendent–who happens to be Mr. Turner.

This should be no surprise at all as it seems that literally everyone from John Adams High has made the 90 minute trek up I-95 and relocated to the village. Even those people that we haven’t seen in a freaking decade. So Mr. Turner is all like, “I taught the X-Men on my first day.” And the principal is all devastated that he has clearly screwed up here, but who gives a crap? We’re finally getting the answers we need about Mr. Turner’s post-accident days!

Here’s what he’s been up to:
-He married his nurse
-He hired Cory to his teaching position
-He frequently visits Cory at his home (except Auggie apparently has never met him until he comes over for dinner at the end of the episode)

Omg. Wtf. That’s all we get to know???

Then Maya and Riley lurk outside the window because all they care about is spying on the adults in their lives.

Screen Shot 2015-07-18 at 1.27.56 PM

Oh well, Mr. Turner does immediately recognize Farkle as Stuart Minkus’s son–no introduction needed–so maybe he was over on the “other part of the school” teaching honors classes.

Boy Meets Worlds: Wheels

It’s Cory’s sixteenth birthday and he’s got big plans to drive from Philly to Atlantic City to see an R-rated movie with Topanga and Shawn. But his dad wants to carry out the family tradition of going to the DMV and then having a big heart-attack-inducing, greasy meal.

Only, Cory doesn’t know about these plans, so he gets his license alone with his friends. Then his dad says he can have the car after her runs a few errands, which will take two hours tops. But he comes back five hours later to an extremely pissed off Cory. Alan offers Cory the keys to his car provided that Cory be back in time for his birthday dinner in 45 minutes. Cory is livid because he hadn’t agreed to a birthday dinner and now he has no time for his road trip. But they’ve been having a birthday dinner every year of Cory’s life so Alan doesn’t understand  what the fuss is about. Eric tries to tell Cory that his dad is just upset because Cory is his last son. But Cory is an insensitive teenager, so he tries to ditch his own birthday party.

When Shawn tells Alan that they’re trying to make a movie and need to leave the party, Alan informs them all that they have to be seventeen to see an R-Rated movie. And when he finds out they were trying to go to Atlantic City, he freaks out. And Cory freaks out too and is all like meh I just turned sixteen and that makes me an adult, and I want to leave my party and hang out with my friends. And Alan is all like really? “That’s the first ‘adult’ decision you want to make?” Hint: It’s not very “adult” to ditch the party your entire family is throwing for you.

So Cory, Shawn, and Topanga head to Atlantic City. But Cory gets pulled over for going 26 mph in a 25 mph zone. Were they driving through residential neighborhoods the entire way to New Jersey? Refusing to call his father to help him pay the $200 fine, Cory ends up in the traffic version of night court–where he is immediately seen by a domineering judge.

Meanwhile, Alan is feeling pretty bad about how everything unfolded. Ever the level headed mother, Amy tells him that Cory is just growing up and isn’t doing anything wrong. Alan says that he’s growing up too, and Amy reminds him that he hasn’t done anything wrong either. They’re both just figuring out how to shift into a new part of their relationship. And that’s why this show is so awesome! Mr. Feeney tells Alan about Cory (who has called him instead of his father), and Alan drives down to the courtroom.

The judge (who must have a sixth sense about father’s who are having  a hard time) sees Alan come in and tells Cory that he will drop the charges if Cory calls his father and says he was wrong. But Cory refuses to do so. The judge then sentences Cory to “two years” (of being a kid, thank God!) and tells him to chill out on the being an “adult” thing.

Very Special Lesson: You’ll probably think you’re all done growing up at least a dozen times before you’re actually a grown up.

Girl Meets Mr. Feeny

“I both hate and love this show,” said my boyfriend as we sat down to watch THE MR. FEENY EPISODE! “I hate myself for watching it but would be totally crushed if it were canceled.” I don’t feel that strongly about it. I’d feel a sick satisfaction if it were canceled, but I also like getting to see the adult characters I love and bitch about the children.

In this episode, Corey plots to dig up the time capsule he and his friends buried fifteen years earlier in Mr. Feeny’s yard. He wears a miner’s headlight and makes a t-shirts that say “shovel,” which led the bf and I to discuss one day how we will have the disposable income to make ridiculous t-shirts and wear them around like people wear those shirts you get from a 5-k or a fundraiser but it will just be like some arbitrary thing that only four of our friends participated in and received a commemorative shirt for.

Corey also has a set of shovels (one for him and Topanga, duh). We soon realize that a third shovel is for Shawn, who rushes in thinking Corey is ill from the urgency of his phone call. When he sees all of the shovels on the wall (thinking it’s a matter of “life and death”) he assumes that Corey wants their help in digging his own grave. I laughed out loud. Anyway, someone mentions Angela while Shawn is talking to Corey’s daughter’s bff’s mom (apparently there’s some romance there). And the kids say that they must come on the trip as well.

Mr. Feeny finds them all digging up his yard, and then Maya and Riley attempt to do “the Feeny call.” HAVE THEY NO SHAME! You don’t irreverently yell in the face of an old man whom you have never met in a mockery of his name. You need to know someone and love someone forever before you get to yell in that person’s face in a mockery of that person’s name! Then they also oddly swat and/or hiss at him.

When they unpack the time capsule, Corey finds a love note that Topanga buried. At first, he thinks it’s a teenage confession of her love…but it turns out to be a note that she found from “Lauren” a.k.a. Linda Cardellini (who Corey cheated on Topanga with at a ski lodge). It turns out Topanga put the note in the capsule because she was immature and threatened, and hoped to one day be able to open the time capsule and tear up the note (which she does).

Maya gets all upset when Shawn reminisces about the items he and Angela put in the time capsule. Riley calls him a jerk. And Corey is all like Shawn she wants you to be her father figure! So then Shawn is all like Maya I’ll be your father figure either way! It’s a little forced, I think, but I also cherry-pick the episodes I view, so it could make more sense to a regular viewer.

We only got to see Mr. Feeny for like 12 seconds, but it looks like they’re finally giving Topanga more screen time. Eric will be in tomorrow’s episode! Yay!

Boy Meets World: Uncle Daddy

97.9%* of Boy Meets World episodes are about Corey, so I wanted to review a very special episode about Eric. Eric was definitely the funniest character, and Will Friedle is pretty funny in real life too. I don’t have twitter but that doesn’t keep me from reading his. You see, sometimes very special episodes are about not birthing a child before you’re ready. Other times, they are about not adopting someone else’s before you are ready.

bmw1In “Uncle Daddy” Eric is dating an older woman. When he asks her out three times in a row, she reveals that she has a son. She introduces them and tells him that he has to have a relationship with her son if he wants to have a relationship with her. Like what? Three dates in a row and suddenly it’s time to join the family? This poor kid! His mom is totally going to tug on his heart strings because we already know the Eric is the best big brother…and erm maybe father figure? Also, I’m pretty sure this kid is the kid from Liar, Liar.

Eric is awesome with the kid. No surprise there. This is during his My Date with the President’s Daughter phase (a.k.a. his perfect phase) which quickly degrades into his “Plays with Squirrels” phase. (Actually, now that I have reached that age, I’m pretty sure he was just having a quarter-life crisis.) He’s so great that he decides to read the kid aa bedtime story instead of going to see a Jim Carrey (omg from Liar, Liar!) movie with Cory and Shawn. But he totally falls apart when he can’t turn down a game of foosball and leaves the kid sitting at a table alone. Then he bemoans the fat that he has not hung out with grown ups all day, which the kid overhears. So he asks Eric for money for ice cream and the kid runs away (presumably to wait for the bus). When Eric notices he’s lost him, he realizes that he can’t be a dad just yet. bmw2

He explains everything to the MILF and she’s like super cool about it. She’s not at all mad at him for leaving her kid unattended and she’s totally understanding of the fact that he’s not ready to be a dad. So she breaks up with him. Because it is the fair thing to do. Because she is the coolest woman ever. Like wtf. He should marry this woman.

Eric gets home from his breakup and finds Cory mouthing off to his parents about taking the car when he wasn’t supposed to. Eric tells him to chill out and give his dad a break. (He’s maturing!) And then he decides to study and retake the SAT’s (more maturing!)

Very Special Lesson: You will meet the perfect woman. She will have a perfect kid. But you’ll be a manchild and it won’t work out. Sorry. Them’s the breaks.

*based upon a study in which I was not entirely paying attention run over the course of the past fifteen years.

Boy Meets World: If You Can’t Be with the One You Love

Remember the original Boy Meets World before it was co-opted into a Disney tween show that makes me feel unnecessarily old? It was a great show about growing up with your friends and your teacher who taught you every grade ever. For most of the show’s seven year run, the story lines realistically dealt with the issues kids face while they are becoming young adults. But no sitcom of the late twentieth century was totally immune to the very special episode formula. Every episode of Boy Meets World had a great life lesson, but only some episodes have the magic and schmaltz to be very special episodes. Boy Meets World Once upon a time, Boy Meets World taught us all a valuable lesson about alcohol. The “boy” of BMW,Corey, and his long-time girlfriend, Topanga, have broken up. I can’t remember why they went their separate ways, but Corey is so devastated by his inability to non-awkwardly interact with Topanga at a party that he ends up drinking alone. He spends an hour and a half in the bathroom with a pint of whiskey and consumes a surprisingly small amount of it. After his best friend, Shawn, discovers him drunk and alone in a stranger’s bathroom, they decide to finish the bottle together.

Classic Very Special Episode Material

Now to even the casual sitcom viewer, it is obvious that the boys are swiftly descending down the slippery slope that is teenage drinking. Corey and Shawn leave the party and pay a random man to buy them alcohol. Then, with cavalier disregard for open container laws,  they enjoy a couple of beers on the sidewalk right in front of the corner store where they just bribed that dude…I don’t think they’ve had enough alcohol to be behaving this stupidly, especially since Shawn had the dexterity to walk around on his hands acrobat style like 90 seconds prior. They get arrested, of course, and Corey’s dad bails them both out of jail. Corey’s dad totally blames Shawn for everything because he’s from the wrong side of the tracks. This is super terrible on his part since he’s known Shawn for at least five years and Shawn has pretty much never done anything to warrant this “bad boy” treatment. Corey does not let Shawn take the blame, and instead confesses that he’s lost his heart and has no life. This is probably the point where you should connect your kid with a mental health professional (“the more you know”), but instead his dad just apologizes to Shawn for being such a dick.

Corey: "I just broke up with someone I spent my entire life with. I dont have a heart anymore. Ive lost my life."
Corey: “I just broke up with someone I spent my entire life with. I dont have a heart anymore. Ive lost my life.” …Uhh, maybe the main problem here is NOT the drinking.

Having learned the error of their ways, Shawn and Corey promise each other that they will never drink again, but Shawn quickly breaks that promise. Shawn, who is now apparently an alcoholic, learns from his half-brother, Jack, that their father was an alcoholic and was abusive. Shawn literally lunges at Jack for saying this, which maybe proves his brother’s point. Then Topanga and Shawn’s girlfriend, Angela, arrive and that’s where Shawn’s behavior hits a fever pitch. Shawn aggressively pushes Angela into the door when she tries to get him to stop drinking which definitely proves his brother’s point. Even though everyone just called Shawn an alcoholic, he decides to never drink again. He is totally without any signs of withdrawal and manages to quit cold turkey! This is especially impressive because Shawn also has not obtained any new coping skills since the beginning of this thirty minute episode. But you know, all it really tacks to break a habit is a stern talking to from your friends.

Very Special Lesson: If you get drunk once and you’re from a broken home, you will become an aggressive alcoholic like your dad. If you come form a middle class two parent family, you’ll have one drunken night in high school and never drink again even if you did give an entire speech full of red flags about your inability to handle a breakup.

Further Reading on the new Boy Meets World spin off Girl Meets World: