Warning: This may be the most frustrating episode of Full House ever.
DJ gets a date to the junior high school dance with her big crush. This is a super important event for her because she’s also planned the entire dance. When the band she’s booked falls through at the last minute, she get Uncle Jesse to fill in–which means he’s there to witness all of the UNDERAGE DRINKING!
But first, check out this video of Uncle Jesse performing with the only available backup musicians–The Van Atta Junior High Marching Band.
Meanwhile, DJ’s date has been too shy to handle all of the social interaction at the dance. So he’s decided to drink beers with a couple of other boys. He finds that the beers really take the edge off, but this does not impress DJ. She tells them how stupid they are, and attempts to show how ridiculous they look by holding a beer and mocking them.
This is not an effective method of deterring teenage drinking, but I’m sure Nancy Reagan’s “Just Say No” only confused poor DJ and she really believed this was a helpful teaching tool for her peers. Anyway, at that exact moment Jesse walks out into the hallway and sees them. Fine, you think. She’s not drinking it, she’s holding it. He will understand what’s going on here.
But one of those preteen lame-os sprayed DJ with beer when she walked into the hallway! So she smells like beer, is holding beer, and is commenting about the beer to a group of peers. This looks pretty bad. But Uncle Jesse is a trusted adult who understands DJ’s integrity and he will believe that she’s just mocking them, right? Nope.
So Jesse takes DJ home, grounds her, and reports all of this to Danny and Joey. Okay, fine. Joey is such a softy, he’ll know she didn’t really do it. Danny will go upstairs and have a heart to heart with her and then he’ll see the truth, right? NOPE. They all sit downstairs chatting about how earlier kids start experimenting and how they can’t believe what she’s done. Then she gets the lecture a kid who has been drinking deserves–only she didn’t do anything except be in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Literally no one in this loving, supportive, you can always talk to me family believes a single word DJ says except her little sister, Stephanie. DJ has been crying her eyes out for like eternity because no one believes her, so Stephanie marches downstairs and says her big sister is crying in the way that you only cry when you’re wrongfully accused. And suddenly every adult is like: whoops.
Meanwhile, DJ has gotten Kimmy’s mom (Kimmy has parents who are actually involved in her life at this point) to drive her back to school so she can get Kevin to explain to her father what really happened. For some reason, Jesse and Danny need only this twelve-year old child–a relative stranger to them–to corroborate DJ’s story in order for them to believe her. Ugh. So then Jesse is all like sorry DJ, I just know that alcohol has really messed up some of my friends and I totally took that out on you because I love you so much. And DJ is all like yay you trust me again and you were just worried!
Very Special Lesson: It’s okay if someone totally ruins your relationship by calling you a liar and a juvenile delinquent. If they apologize, then you can go back to your loving trusting relationship with absolutely no residual resentment.
She’s all like Thanksgiving should be spent at home! We always had Thanksgiving with mom at home! (Yep, this is one of those rare episodes where we admit the girls once had a mom and that she died tragically). Also, Joey walks around randomly saying the “Miracle of Thanksgiving” and making a trumpet noise. Was he also the voice of Face on Nick, Jr.?
So how can they possible tell this little girl who is trying to impress her dead mom that the turkey she made sucks? Well, they don’t exactly…they shove the turkey back into the oven, crank it up as high as it will go, and try to purchase a turkey off of a couple of lost travelers who ask if they can use the phone. None of it pans out though, and the non-defrosted turkey catches on fire. Then Stephanie drops the “picture perfect pumpkin pie” and everything is ruined.
Jesse goes to talk to Stephanie (who is hiding in her closet because she dropped the “picture perfect pumpkin pie). At first things start off with the run-of-the-mill “everyone makes mistakes” lesson, but Stephanie is very adamant that not everyone makes “pie mistakes.” So Jesse decides to tell her a story about when he was a kid and did something very stupid to show that sometimes kids do stupid things and it is okay. He takes her to his room to show her a childhood photo album, specifically a haircut that he allowed her then ten year-old mother to give him when he was five. Stephanie feels better after hearing the story and enjoys seeing childhood pictures of her mother, but Jesse ends up being very upset by the whole interaction.
Stephanie also includes a gigantic crack in the middle of their house (from the earthquake). She also drew Danny outside of the house because he was late getting home on the day of the earthquake. Then, with a series of leading questions, the therapist determines that Stephanie has been anxious since the earthquake because she does not know where her dad is when he runs late getting home from work. She decides they should make a list of all of the things that Stephanie and Danny can do, so that she will not worry when he is away. She proceeds to tell them both exactly how to behave, while Stephanie eagerly writes down everything she says.
y the fact that his kid won’t take over the family business, that he decides he cannot consider him a family member anymore. I mean I get that some people take the family business super personal, but did he forget that his daughter just died like a year ago and maybe he should not be casting his remaining child off so carelessly like he has dozens of children to spare? Oh well, at least his exterminator jacket has that super cool graphic design of a dead ant on the back of it.
discover that Jesse is twenty-five years old. This is so beyond disturbing. Sure, Uncle Jesse is the cool and hot guy on this show but he cannot be anywhere close to my age. He’s like selling music and raising children and being hot and single and accomplished and how is he only twenty-five???
e kids to have stupid and irrational fears, and that she herself used to have them too. For example, she was afraid of being sucked down the drain in the bathtub when she was a kid. (This is so real. I had this same exact fear!!!) But DJ learned that the fear was unwarranted. And how did she discover that truth? By displaying some seriously sociopathic tendencies and unplugging the drain while baby Stephanie was in the bath. When Stephanie managed not to be sucked down the drain, DJ realized it was a silly fear. But oh my gosh, that is so twisted!
The Secret World of Alex Mack
The A-Team
re question cards with truth-or-dare questions and trivia. You move around Bayside High School and get points for dating Zack and Slater. The other game was released in 2010, and it’s a time travel game back to the Bayside of the 90’s. It’s sort of like a bizarro mystery date. Zack and Kelly tell you who you will date, where you are going, and what you will be doing. The player who goes on the date wins.
Clarissa Explains It All
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