Sabrina’s aunts are like ridiculously into Christmas. They’re wearing some pretty intense Christmas garb and acting even more peculiar than normal. But Sabrina’s cranky about Christmas. She gets frustrated with the lights and would rather use magic than deal with decorating by hand.
Sabrina’s aunts decide to engage her in a myriad of Christmas activities in an effort to make Sabrina more festive. But with each thing they try, she only gets less and less spirited. So finally they let her go to a party at the coolest club in the other realm on Christmas Eve. She’s such a grouch they decide to just spend Christmas Eve dinner without her.
But it turns out the other realm party is really creepy and awful. The only reason Sabrina was invited is that she is anti-Christmas spirit. The people at the party are throwing darts at a board with Santa’s face on it and watching a TV showing people celebrating Christmas.
That’s when things get really creepy. They zero in on Sabrina’s aunts eating without her and decide to make it even “more pathetic” by tricking them into thinking Sabrina came home for dinner, but then she of course doesn’t show. Like how creepy is that if witches can just watch each other? Like do they watch each other in the shower? Ick.
Sabrina is so disgusted that she rushes home to celebrate with her aunts. But when she gets there, she finds that she has erased Christmas entirely. (She turned off the TV and accidentally hit “erase” prior to leaving the other realm party.) Side note: Salem once destroyed the holiday “Bobunk” in much the same manner. What’s Bobunk? Exactly.
Sabrina tries to save Christmas by spreading Christmas cheer to everyone. And it turns out that Christmas is actually pretty creepy if you don’t know the traditions.
For example, Sabrina gets arrested when she dresses up as Santa and yes all a random child in a department store when she doesn’t sit on her lap. She also sounds like a nut because she keeps walking around singing Christmas carols but like they just sound like jibberish to everyone else…
But when she and her aunts get snowed in, Sabrina realizes “all the hoopla of Christmas isn’t as important as spending time with your family.” Whoops, the spell is reversed!
Very Special Lesson: Actually, I’m not sure what they were going for her. Sabrina didn’t like “the hoopla of Christmas” so it’s not like she was overly materialistic and needed to learn the “true” meaning of Christmas. She already spends a ton of time with her aunts and obviously never wanted them to suffer…oh wait yeah I guess she wasn’t supposed to skip Christmas Eve Dinner. So yeah. Have dinner with your loved ones and skip the crappy party instead.
No one really knows what to do, so Topanga approaches Stewart and tells him to make sure Corey isn’t kicked out of college or she will tell the dean that he behaved inappropriately. I feel like she could bypass Stewart on this one and just go straight to the dean, but anyway she gives him this ultimatum and he tells her he’s going to tell the dean that it was the other way around and Topanga was the aggressor. Ultimate douche bag.
Cory, Shawn, Topanga, Angela, and some dude named Kenny all get detention for being disruptive in class, but Feeny leaves them alone in the room because he doesn’t want to be stuck in detention too. However, he tells them that they are still “being watched.” Shawn tries to leave immediately after Feeny, but discovers they have all been locked in the classroom.
Then the lights go out and someone murders Kenny in like 1.5 seconds. That pretty much can only mean that one of our favorite cast members is a psychopath (probably the one standing closest to him) because who else could possible have had that opportunity? But he was also murdered with a pencil to the forehead, so I guess we’re assuming a lot of things are possible in this universe.
When the janitor ends up dead too, the group has to accept that the killer is one of them (which I knew ten minutes ago, geez.) But Topanga insists that there must be someone else in the building, so they leave Eric out as guard/bait while the rest of them hide in the classroom. Just then, Jennifer Love Hewitt shows up and she and Eric make out. (This was back when they were dating in real life.)
Angela and Jack die next, when the killer pushes them out of a window. Now only Cory, Topanga, and Shawn are left facing the killer. Shawn unmasks him and discovers his own face is under the mask. It’s like super trippy. Clearly, this is all just a dream. But Shawn’s obviously really enmeshed with Cory & Topanga. I guess we already knew that though. Also, that means that Shawn was dreaming about who out of his friends is/is not a virgin. The end!
Cory is soooo excited for Valentine’s Day. He’s putting a lot of pressure on the day because the previous year he cheated on Topanga with Linda Cardellini, and they broke up. But his mom is super pregnant with baby Josh, so Topanga has taken it upon herself to be helpful to the entire family–not just Cory. This messes up his plans and he gets really whiny. They’re about to have a gender-divided Valentine’s Day until Cory insists on throwing the baby shower Topanga offers to host for his mother. This family is pretty enmeshed, guys.
Topanga thought it was appropriate to buy Mrs. Matthews a sexy nightie and talk about how good she’ll look after the baby is born–so good in fact that Mr. Matthews will get her pregnant all over again. Morgan sits next to her mother and somehow manages not to barf. Then she gives her baby sweater to her mom for the new baby and is all bummed out that she’s not the baby anymore. Amy promises to spend more time with Morgan until the baby comes and then she immediately goes into labor.
In the waiting room, Cory keeps trying to tell Topanga that there’s nothing in the world more important than their love and that is why they are getting married. Bleh. Anyway, Alan comes out and tells everyone that the baby might die and they all look horrified. It is awful. And then the episode ends. It’s not technically a 2-parter, but I’m not going to leave you hanging.
Then Corey says, “I don’t like it that you’re not Topanga anymore,” which is kind of mean, honestly. Topanga goes home and talks to Angela. She tells her about that time in the sixth-grade when she danced around and put lipstick no her face, and somehow feels that’s when Cory fell in love with her. They’re all at the hospital and Cory is still mad at Topanga for somehow failing to magically fix reality, and luckily Shawn shows up. (He’s been away searching his soul or something.)
With Shawn and Topanga by his side, Cory is finally ready to go talk to baby Josh in the incubator. Then they all give this baby a pep talk about how he has to live because he is breaking their hearts. Shawn gives the most inspiring speech of all. He tells Josh that they have the best family of all and they don’t need to go anywhere else to find it. He wants Josh to get better so that they can have fun and make new memories.
Shawn and Topanga are both going away for the summer, which leaves Cory totally depressed. Meanwhile, Eric has been rejected from every single college he has applied to, and is now hoping North Southwestern San Diego State University (NSWSDSU) will accept him off the wait-list. Eric’s hoping to have some quality time with Corey before he leaves home, but Cory resents Eric for only wanting to hang out with him now that he’s leaving. He plans to pack up his room in a week and spend the entire summer road-tripping to California. Like woah. I did not have that much mobility right after I graduated from high school, but more power to you, Eric.
room they’ve shared for fifteen years–and they don’t even know each other. Um. Okay. False. I get that you’re bummed this is happening but I’d just like to point out that Eric has been a pretty amazing brother to Cory: He’s a guest speaker in Cory’s 6th grade class, he makes Cory and Shawn a guide to high school on their first day, and earlier this season they even planned a rave together. So like Cory is just being super whiny and raining on everyone else’s parade because he’s lonely. But then again he is fifteen, so I guess that’s to be expected.
The next morning Cory says goodbye (almost tearfully) to Shawn and Topanga. Eric shows up just after they leave and finds a lonely Cory playing basketball and talking to himself. Cory apologizes to Eric about being a jerk. He also admits to stealing Eric’s college acceptance letter from the mailbox because he didn’t want him to leave. He feels like they’re finally getting to be friends (I guess the rave earlier this season was a real bonding moment) instead of being just brothers. Only, it turns out that letter is a rejection letter, and Eric has nowhere to go.
Eric admits that his expectations were a bit unrealistic, since he slacked off for all but the last few months of his high school career. But Cory encourages him to take a few classes over the summer, and apply again to an even better school. That’s still a major uphill battle for a guy who barely graduated from high school, but that’s not the point. The point is that Eric’s always been the supportive big brother for Cory (even though he’s been whining for this entire episode) and now it’s Cory’s turn to be the supportive one. That’s the first time in this entire 30-minute bitch-fest that Cory has actually demonstrated the kind of friendship that he demands from Eric. Omg. The feels. I think I’m going to cry. But seriously, what other hilarious sitcom is also this real in terms of human emotion. Certainly NOT Girl Meets World. New Theory: Boy Meets World is Cheers for the children of the 90’s. It’s all fun and games and harassment until you really need someone and they’re surprisingly deep.
Then Eric decides that Cory should come on his road trip with him and Amy and Alan bankroll the entire thing because they’re going to look at colleges across America. Like as a potential-one-day-maybe-parent I’m a little freaked out by the idea of an eighteen year-old and a fifteen year-old crossing America alone together in the days before cell phones, but if my kids were Eric and Cory, I’d like to think I’d be open to it.
This is Mr. Turner’s FINAL episode of Boy Meets World, so just keep that in mind. He starts of the episode by lecturing Shawn on how he should have some goals in life now that he is a junior in high school. Topanga is all like I have goals! I want to go to Penn State! Wft, Topanga. You’re the freaking valedictorian. Is John Adams High such a shitty school that the valedictorian is aiming for Penn State instead of UPenn? Well, this would explain why Shawn has never been held back in any grades even though he’s a completely terrible student.
Shawn is currently back home with mom and dad, but Mr. Turner is still doing some parenting (clearly). A cute girl, Sherri, overhears their conversation and convinces him to come along with her to a cult-meeting. You know, for love and acceptance. She introduces him to cult-lead, Mr. Mac, who dresses like James Spader in Pretty in Pink.
Some might call this an “implausible” situation. Clearly, Sherri has been walking around John Adams high school blabbing about how she’s in a cult and living with a non-guardian and yet no one has called police of child protective services. But I would like to argue, that Boy Meets World has invented the most terrifying cult leader ever. He’s so powerful that he doesn’t even have to resort to the usual tactics and can brainwash someone in literally minutes.
Well, then they induct Shawn as a life-member, which is admittedly odd. Corey goes home and enlists the help of his dad and Mr. Feeny, who has been trying to close The Centre for years. However, Shawn shows up in the Matthews/Feeny yard before they can go to The Centre to get him. He’s there to bring Eric home because Mr. Mac knew Eric was only interested in the hot girls.
Alan threatens to kill Mr. Mac if he messes with Shawn. Yep, family television used to use murder as leverage in arguments. They don’t write them like they used to, folks. With of all their arguing, they don’t notice that Topanga, Shawn, and Corey have left the room. Shawn freaks out and says it’s too intense and he needs Mr. Mac to deal with this tragedy. Topanga (back when they let her drive plots) tells him that this is real and he has to deal with it, and Mr. Mac can’t help him. Then Corey grabs him and explains what a hug is. 
Then Shawn is left alone with Mr. Turner, as he begs him to wake up from his coma. He tells him that he knows he’s in there even if he can’t talk. This leads Shawn to beg God to let Mr. Turner be okay, realizing that He can hear him even if He doesn’t talk. (This show was very quietly Christian, I’m realizing. I mean like they never went to church but this is like not a show with buddhist undertones.) Then Shawn holds Mr. Turner’s hand and Mr. Turner (who doesn’t wake up) gently grasps his hand in return. AND THEN WE NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN FOR THE REST OF THE SHOW!
Only, Cory doesn’t know about these plans, so he gets his license alone with his friends. Then his dad says he can have the car after her runs a few errands, which will take two hours tops. But he comes back five hours later to an extremely pissed off Cory. Alan offers Cory the keys to his car provided that Cory be back in time for his birthday dinner in 45 minutes. Cory is livid because he hadn’t agreed to a birthday dinner and now he has no time for his road trip. But they’ve been having a birthday dinner every year of Cory’s life so Alan doesn’t understand what the fuss is about. Eric tries to tell Cory that his dad is just upset because Cory is his last son. But Cory is an insensitive teenager, so he tries to ditch his own birthday party.
When Shawn tells Alan that they’re trying to make a movie and need to leave the party, Alan informs them all that they have to be seventeen to see an R-Rated movie. And when he finds out they were trying to go to Atlantic City, he freaks out. And Cory freaks out too and is all like meh I just turned sixteen and that makes me an adult, and I want to leave my party and hang out with my friends. And Alan is all like really? “That’s the first ‘adult’ decision you want to make?” Hint: It’s not very “adult” to ditch the party your entire family is throwing for you.
le, Alan is feeling pretty bad about how everything unfolded. Ever the level headed mother, Amy tells him that Cory is just growing up and isn’t doing anything wrong. Alan says that he’s growing up too, and Amy reminds him that he hasn’t done anything wrong either. They’re both just figuring out how to shift into a new part of their relationship. And that’s why this show is so awesome! Mr. Feeney tells Alan about Cory (who has called him instead of his father), and Alan drives down to the courtroom.
The Very Special Blog 