I’m sure I don’t even have to explain to you that I’m definitely going to be watching tomorrow’s episode of Girl Meets World, but I have to say that this promo
a. makes me feel older than this show already did
b. is kind of making my head spin because like wtf 90’s America + modern day rip off show + all of the nostalgia + my childhood + my current stress levels = what is life in this twilight zone?? and will we see Eric with his awesome hair??
c. is probably something you should watch for yourself and then talk to me about in the comments
Boy Meets World
Girl Meets World: Matthew Lawrence Returns
It’s semi-formal time at John Quincy Adams Middle School. For whatever reason “The School Board” sends over an etiquette video from the 1950’s for Corey to show the kids. I’m 99% sure the narration for this video is voiced by Will Friedle. Anyway, Corey’s kid freaks out because her (unofficial?) boyfriend hasn’t asked her to the dance. And I don’t really care. I’m writing about this episode because the biggest dream-boat to ever grace our screens as a Boy Meets World cast member is making a return appearance in this episode.
Eric is in town to meet with a sleazy big business guy .who is going to try to buy his vote. He’s a senator now, by the way. It turns out that Jack (having joined the Peace Corps with Rachel) has shunned his altruistic ways and joined this nasty company. He’s the guy Eric has to meet with. Well, I guess Eric isn’t required to meet with him, but this explains why he took the meeting.
So Eric decides to take Jack to the school dance, which he describes as going “back in time.” He calls Cory “Feeny” lol. And Jack is all like Remember when we were just like these kids? And I want to be like No. They didn’t know you in middle school. They knew you in college. Who compares a college memory to a middle school memory? But whatever. I like seeing the original show’s cast back, so however they need to force it is fine with me.
Jack asks Cory what it’s like having a daughter, so Cory asks Jack to help Riley with her love life. (She’s trying to decide between two boys or something). I mean like wtf why would you ask a friend you haven’t seen in years to do something so ridiculous right in front of your kid? Like deal with your own kid, jerk.
So Jack compares Riley’s middle school situation to that time that he and Eric lived with Rachel and both wanted to date her. Well, I mean he makes it way more PG. Riley asks how Rachel felt about each of them and Jack tells her that she liked him as a boyfriend. Eric tells her that Rachel liked him as a brother. We then learn that Rachel and Jack haven’t talked in a really long time, whereas Eric and Rachel talk all the time. So Jack tells her that having close friends is “the best choice you can make.”
Then no one can figure out who Riley is at the dance with. Like who is her date? And they’re like oh well. “We’re all friends and we’re all dancing. What else is there to figure out?” I mean this is like a sentiment I would have accepted in college, but this is like freaking middle school. Where is the drama? The catty and possessive behavior? It’s a black-and-white world in your thirteen year-old mind and you have to pick one of the boys to be your boyfriend. Then a week later you have to dramatically break up with that boyfriend and realize that the other boy was your true love forever. I mean it’s like these writers have never been to a middle school dance!
Anyway, Matthew Lawrence still looks good, and isn’t that all that really matters?
Boy Meets World: My Baby Valentine & Resurrection
Cory is soooo excited for Valentine’s Day. He’s putting a lot of pressure on the day because the previous year he cheated on Topanga with Linda Cardellini, and they broke up. But his mom is super pregnant with baby Josh, so Topanga has taken it upon herself to be helpful to the entire family–not just Cory. This messes up his plans and he gets really whiny. They’re about to have a gender-divided Valentine’s Day until Cory insists on throwing the baby shower Topanga offers to host for his mother. This family is pretty enmeshed, guys.
It turns out that Cory thinks baby showers are like bachelorette parties. He even hires a stripper. For his mother. It’s really weird. Meanwhile, Eric, Jack, and Alan play cards–with Mr. Feeny. Back at the Matthews home, Topanga has managed to salvage the bridal shower after kid-sister Morgan kicked Cory out of the house.
Topanga thought it was appropriate to buy Mrs. Matthews a sexy nightie and talk about how good she’ll look after the baby is born–so good in fact that Mr. Matthews will get her pregnant all over again. Morgan sits next to her mother and somehow manages not to barf. Then she gives her baby sweater to her mom for the new baby and is all bummed out that she’s not the baby anymore. Amy promises to spend more time with Morgan until the baby comes and then she immediately goes into labor.
Back at Eric’s apartment, Alan yells at Cory for selfishly ruining the baby shower. He’s too self-centered to realize that life goes on outside of Hallmark Holidays, and that his stressed-out and super-pregnant mom deserved Topanga’s attention more than he did. Amy delivers the baby via C-section and everything appears to be fine. But then the nurse notices the completely not at all premature baby actor breathing “irregularly” and they have to put little Josh in the NICU.
(Oh and also, Jack, Eric, and Rachel work out their love-triangle because Eric is some awesome and is totally cool with them dating behind his back and not knowing how to tell him.)
In the waiting room, Cory keeps trying to tell Topanga that there’s nothing in the world more important than their love and that is why they are getting married. Bleh. Anyway, Alan comes out and tells everyone that the baby might die and they all look horrified. It is awful. And then the episode ends. It’s not technically a 2-parter, but I’m not going to leave you hanging.
The NICU doctor wants to administer a 10-day course of antibiotics and then see how Josh does with that. Cory is freaking out and wants Topanga to fix everything. Cory is so needy at eighteen. I kind of forgot. I feel bad for Topanga though because he keeps demanding so much of her and like insists that she hold his hand as a magical cure-all. So she grabs his hand and says, “I don’t like it when you use us to hide from the rest of life, Cory.” OMG she’s so cool. Why can’t they let her be this cool on Girl Meets World?!
Then Corey says, “I don’t like it that you’re not Topanga anymore,” which is kind of mean, honestly. Topanga goes home and talks to Angela. She tells her about that time in the sixth-grade when she danced around and put lipstick no her face, and somehow feels that’s when Cory fell in love with her. They’re all at the hospital and Cory is still mad at Topanga for somehow failing to magically fix reality, and luckily Shawn shows up. (He’s been away searching his soul or something.)
With Shawn and Topanga by his side, Cory is finally ready to go talk to baby Josh in the incubator. Then they all give this baby a pep talk about how he has to live because he is breaking their hearts. Shawn gives the most inspiring speech of all. He tells Josh that they have the best family of all and they don’t need to go anywhere else to find it. He wants Josh to get better so that they can have fun and make new memories.
By the end of the episode, Josh is doing well enough to go home. Then Topanga draws on her face with lipstick in order to show that she’s not all that different for her eleven year-old self. She draws on Cory’s face too. I remember really liking this episode as a kid because it acknowledged how drastically Topanga’s character had changed. But not it feels so oddly timed because Topanga had been pretty non-hippie and serious for a few years prior to this. I feel like Cory was so mean to her because she wasn’t “inspiring hope” when she was just trying to be realistic about a potential tragedy. Sorry, she’s not your coping-guru, Cory.
Very Special Lesson: If your mom is really really pregnant and then you have a premature baby brother and you are annoyed that your girlfriend is growing up and it’s Valentine’s Day–get over yourself. Also, I am finding it more and more disturbing that Cory and Topanga were engaged at eighteen. But oh well, at least they worked through this.
Boy Meets World: Brother Brother
Shawn and Topanga are both going away for the summer, which leaves Cory totally depressed. Meanwhile, Eric has been rejected from every single college he has applied to, and is now hoping North Southwestern San Diego State University (NSWSDSU) will accept him off the wait-list. Eric’s hoping to have some quality time with Corey before he leaves home, but Cory resents Eric for only wanting to hang out with him now that he’s leaving. He plans to pack up his room in a week and spend the entire summer road-tripping to California. Like woah. I did not have that much mobility right after I graduated from high school, but more power to you, Eric.
After a brutal cat-fight with Cory, Eric decides it would be best to leave the following day instead of the following week. Alan tries to talk him out of it, noting that he technically hasn’t been accepted to college yet. He agrees to wait one more day, so his parents can have a goodbye dinner for him. (The Matthews Family loves big deal dinners.) And Alan advises him to spend the next day figuring out what is upsetting Cory.
In the height of melodrama, Cory makes an impassioned speech at Eric’s goodbye dinner. He wishes him a nice life because he’s probably moving out forever from the
room they’ve shared for fifteen years–and they don’t even know each other. Um. Okay. False. I get that you’re bummed this is happening but I’d just like to point out that Eric has been a pretty amazing brother to Cory: He’s a guest speaker in Cory’s 6th grade class, he makes Cory and Shawn a guide to high school on their first day, and earlier this season they even planned a rave together. So like Cory is just being super whiny and raining on everyone else’s parade because he’s lonely. But then again he is fifteen, so I guess that’s to be expected.
The next morning Cory says goodbye (almost tearfully) to Shawn and Topanga. Eric shows up just after they leave and finds a lonely Cory playing basketball and talking to himself. Cory apologizes to Eric about being a jerk. He also admits to stealing Eric’s college acceptance letter from the mailbox because he didn’t want him to leave. He feels like they’re finally getting to be friends (I guess the rave earlier this season was a real bonding moment) instead of being just brothers. Only, it turns out that letter is a rejection letter, and Eric has nowhere to go.
Eric admits that his expectations were a bit unrealistic, since he slacked off for all but the last few months of his high school career. But Cory encourages him to take a few classes over the summer, and apply again to an even better school. That’s still a major uphill battle for a guy who barely graduated from high school, but that’s not the point. The point is that Eric’s always been the supportive big brother for Cory (even though he’s been whining for this entire episode) and now it’s Cory’s turn to be the supportive one. That’s the first time in this entire 30-minute bitch-fest that Cory has actually demonstrated the kind of friendship that he demands from Eric. Omg. The feels. I think I’m going to cry. But seriously, what other hilarious sitcom is also this real in terms of human emotion. Certainly NOT Girl Meets World. New Theory: Boy Meets World is Cheers for the children of the 90’s. It’s all fun and games and harassment until you really need someone and they’re surprisingly deep.
Then Eric decides that Cory should come on his road trip with him and Amy and Alan bankroll the entire thing because they’re going to look at colleges across America. Like as a potential-one-day-maybe-parent I’m a little freaked out by the idea of an eighteen year-old and a fifteen year-old crossing America alone together in the days before cell phones, but if my kids were Eric and Cory, I’d like to think I’d be open to it.
Very Special Lesson: THIS ENTIRE SHOW IS A VERY SPECIAL LESSON YOU GUYS! (I think work stress is making me more emotional about television than I should be BUT MY FEELINGS ARE REAL!)
Girl Meets Mr. Turner
Those rascally kids at John Quincy Adams Middle School have scared off their English teacher! And so they get a lady version of Mr. Turner. She walks into the room wearing leather of the motorcycle variety. Her first English lesson involves handing them all band new copies of Batman: The Dark Knight Returns. So. I would like to sign up for this 8th grade English class please.
Riley, little disrespectful brat, says to the cool new teacher, “Um. Aren’t you supposed to be teaching us the important books?” RUDE. The cool teacher tells her it is important. She also tells the class to call her by her first name, Harper. And that they will “figure out” her namesake.
Alas, this revolutionary teaching is short-lived. The principal sees “comic books” out on the desks and shames Harper into teaching To Kill a Mockingbird instead. I guess those kids will be figuring out that namesake sooner rather than later. But maybe not. Harper defies the principal’s orders and proceeds with teaching The Dark Knight Returns. 
At dinner, the girls are so psyched about their homework that they’re rushing through everything. Topanga asks them what’s up and they talk about how cool the new teacher is. Recognizing that they are describing a lady version of Mr. Turner, Topanga asks Cory if he was on the search committee for the new teacher, and he replies that he was. And then they tell their children how they had one teacher other than Mr. Feeny and that Mr. Feeny was that teacher’s principal.And the kids are like No, way would one teacher teach you forever AND be your principal in today’s world. And Cory is all like, “we’ll see.”
The next day the principal fires Harper and won’t even let her explain her lesson plan. To be fair, as a new teacher she probably should have explained her lesson plan as soon as he asked her to teach a different book. But no, she’s a rebel and she decide to just ignore him and continue doing what she was doing. Maya and Riley get Cory to intervene and he’s all like, “how can you possible fire someone like her?” And then he does that whole if she goes, I go thing. So they both get fired.
But Topanga’s all lawyer-y and she’s all like NOPE. A principal can’t fire a tenured public school teacher. Duh. So now the principal will have to take this up with the superintendent, and he can fire both of them. Except, no. He cannot. An independent hearing officer is responsible for dismissing tenured teachers in New York City and it is basically impossible to dismiss a tenured teacher. But fine, since this is the freaking twilight zone of Boy Meets World, let’s just take it up with the superintendent–who happens to be Mr. Turner.
This should be no surprise at all as it seems that literally everyone from John Adams High has made the 90 minute trek up I-95 and relocated to the village. Even those people that we haven’t seen in a freaking decade. So Mr. Turner is all like, “I taught the X-Men on my first day.” And the principal is all devastated that he has clearly screwed up here, but who gives a crap? We’re finally getting the answers we need about Mr. Turner’s post-accident days!
Here’s what he’s been up to:
-He married his nurse
-He hired Cory to his teaching position
-He frequently visits Cory at his home (except Auggie apparently has never met him until he comes over for dinner at the end of the episode)
Omg. Wtf. That’s all we get to know???
Then Maya and Riley lurk outside the window because all they care about is spying on the adults in their lives.
Oh well, Mr. Turner does immediately recognize Farkle as Stuart Minkus’s son–no introduction needed–so maybe he was over on the “other part of the school” teaching honors classes.
Boy Meets World: Cult Fiction
This is Mr. Turner’s FINAL episode of Boy Meets World, so just keep that in mind. He starts of the episode by lecturing Shawn on how he should have some goals in life now that he is a junior in high school. Topanga is all like I have goals! I want to go to Penn State! Wft, Topanga. You’re the freaking valedictorian. Is John Adams High such a shitty school that the valedictorian is aiming for Penn State instead of UPenn? Well, this would explain why Shawn has never been held back in any grades even though he’s a completely terrible student.
Shawn is currently back home with mom and dad, but Mr. Turner is still doing some parenting (clearly). A cute girl, Sherri, overhears their conversation and convinces him to come along with her to a cult-meeting. You know, for love and acceptance. She introduces him to cult-lead, Mr. Mac, who dresses like James Spader in Pretty in Pink.
Shawn correctly identifies “The Centre” (where a bunch of teenagers live with Mr. Mac) as a cult, which I think it pretty abnormal because aren’t cults supposed to trick you in to think they’re not cults? I don’t know, I barely got through the second season of The Following, so I’m not sure I’m well versed on this.
Shawn’s anti-cult convictions must not be very strong because all they have to say is “we won’t judge you” and he’s drunk the proverbial Kool-Aid within an hour. (This is Boy Meets World so I’m sure there won’t be any actual Kool-Aid. Or Flavor-Aid, as it were. I feel obligated to point out that we’ve been blaming the wrong brand name for the last 40 years.) He goes with the kids from The Centre to Chubbies and yells at Corey for questioning his “beliefs.”
Some might call this an “implausible” situation. Clearly, Sherri has been walking around John Adams high school blabbing about how she’s in a cult and living with a non-guardian and yet no one has called police of child protective services. But I would like to argue, that Boy Meets World has invented the most terrifying cult leader ever. He’s so powerful that he doesn’t even have to resort to the usual tactics and can brainwash someone in literally minutes.
Eric and Corey go to investigate The Centre. Shawn tells them to get out because they don’t belong. But Eric wants to live there because he met a pretty girl. (This is Eric’s pretty-girl stupid phase, which directly preceded his stupid-stupid phase.) But once they’re actual there checking it out, it’s kind of like just creepy but not actual a cult. I mean it’s more like Shawn has joined a really lame clique. These people apparently come and go as they please, get plenty sleep, are not forced into manual labor or sexually coercive acts, and there appears to be no weird death-pact. So as much as it would also pain me to see my friend join a church with a really weird youth-group, this does not appear to be a literal cult.
Well, then they induct Shawn as a life-member, which is admittedly odd. Corey goes home and enlists the help of his dad and Mr. Feeny, who has been trying to close The Centre for years. However, Shawn shows up in the Matthews/Feeny yard before they can go to The Centre to get him. He’s there to bring Eric home because Mr. Mac knew Eric was only interested in the hot girls.
Mr. Feeny leaves the yard to take a phone call and Amy asks Shawn why he needs to believe in The Centre. They determine that Shawn didn’t know what he believed in before The Centre, and Mr. Feeny returns to report that MR. TURNER HAS BEEN IN A MOTORCYCLE ACCIDENT! Everyone rushes down to the hospital, where apparently on the The Matthews, Topanga, and Mr. Feeny care about Mr. Turner. Shawn shows up with Mr. Mac. Given the fact that Mr. Turner apparently has no family, I think Shawn should feel even better about the closeness of their relationship. But oh well, he’s into Mr. Mac now.
Alan threatens to kill Mr. Mac if he messes with Shawn. Yep, family television used to use murder as leverage in arguments. They don’t write them like they used to, folks. With of all their arguing, they don’t notice that Topanga, Shawn, and Corey have left the room. Shawn freaks out and says it’s too intense and he needs Mr. Mac to deal with this tragedy. Topanga (back when they let her drive plots) tells him that this is real and he has to deal with it, and Mr. Mac can’t help him. Then Corey grabs him and explains what a hug is. 
Then Shawn is left alone with Mr. Turner, as he begs him to wake up from his coma. He tells him that he knows he’s in there even if he can’t talk. This leads Shawn to beg God to let Mr. Turner be okay, realizing that He can hear him even if He doesn’t talk. (This show was very quietly Christian, I’m realizing. I mean like they never went to church but this is like not a show with buddhist undertones.) Then Shawn holds Mr. Turner’s hand and Mr. Turner (who doesn’t wake up) gently grasps his hand in return. AND THEN WE NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN FOR THE REST OF THE SHOW!
Very Special Lesson: Always have a back up career. No job is guaranteed. You can literally be the very special lesson in a show. You can literally guide a main character out of a terrible cult, and yet the writers will still discontinue your character by leaving you indefinitely in a coma.
Girl Meets Mr. Squirrels Goes to Washington
Eric is running for Senator of New York and he wants Riley and her friends to run the campaign. It turns out that this is a great idea (well in the world of this TV Show) because the incumbent senator has taken money away from the school budget and “given” it to his “rich friends.” (We only find this out because the dude who unearthed all of this fiscal drama happens to be sitting in Topanga’s bakery while Eric is talking to the kids.) They all decide Eric has a change at winning the election because he cares about schools.
Um. Right. For a show based in New York, I guess they forgot about Zephyr Teachout. Moving right along…
Anyway, Harley Keiner (former tough guy at John Adams High in Philadelphia, current custodian at John Quincy Adams in New York City) somehow gets involved in the situation. He’s mostly just there so Eric can not recognize him as Harley but think he looks a lot like Harley and then say some dumb stuff about how he wished he had beaten up Harely…only to realize he is, in fact, talking to Harley. But Harley handles it with grace because he’s mellowed and matured.
Shortly thereafter, Eric comes to realize that he was selected to run for senator by someone from the incumbent’s campaign because they thought he would fail. He then becomes very depressed and Riley and Maya have to entice him to get back to work with cocoa puffs, milk, and chocolate syrup. Very reminiscent of this:
So then they have a debate at JQA Middle School and the Senator is basically like: Eric Matthews has no experience, he has no children of his own (which is his entire platform), and lowering the voting age is kind of stupid (oh yeah the middle schoolers want to lower the voting age and it is kind of stupid). But then Eric is like just ’cause I don’t have my own kids doesn’t mean I don’t care about kids. And then the Senator is like “prove it.” And then the dude from Topanga’s bakery who had discovered all of the Senator’s fiscal shenanigans, is all like I can prove that Eric cares about kids! And it turns out that he’s actually Tommy, who you all may recognize as this kid:
And at this point everyone in Girl Meets World should
like wonder if they’re living in the freaking Twilight Zone because like wtf. But yeah. It does sort of tug on my heart strings, if only because Will Friedle is so lovingly like “Tommy?” And for some reason Topanga is in the background fangirling about this child she barely knew from like a decade earlier that Eric mentored. But then they actually play a clip of Boy Meets World in order to show who Tommy is because he was kind of a minor character and why on earth would kids who watch Girl Meets World know or care about him? I’ve come to accept that the Eric episodes are written for the grown-ups, thank God. And then Tommy is all like Eric gave me up because he loved me. And he talks about how he ended up with a great family and blah blah blah Eric is great with kids. Meanwhile, all of the tweens are filming this on their smartphones.
And like Eric and Tommy walk off arm-in-arm and somehow he now has a chance of actually winning the election? So Topanga and Corey pack up to leave the country just in case, leaving their children behind. The end!
Very Special Lesson: Remember how I mentioned The Twilight Zone above? Yeah, I think Girl Meets World is all just like a Twilight Zone future for the characters of Boy Meets World. Or like Eric is in a coma and dreaming this shit. Or something. But it’s like…it’s weird.
Boy Meets Worlds: Wheels
It’s Cory’s sixteenth birthday and he’s got big plans to drive from Philly to Atlantic City to see an R-rated movie with Topanga and Shawn. But his dad wants to carry out the family tradition of going to the DMV and then having a big heart-attack-inducing, greasy meal.
Only, Cory doesn’t know about these plans, so he gets his license alone with his friends. Then his dad says he can have the car after her runs a few errands, which will take two hours tops. But he comes back five hours later to an extremely pissed off Cory. Alan offers Cory the keys to his car provided that Cory be back in time for his birthday dinner in 45 minutes. Cory is livid because he hadn’t agreed to a birthday dinner and now he has no time for his road trip. But they’ve been having a birthday dinner every year of Cory’s life so Alan doesn’t understand what the fuss is about. Eric tries to tell Cory that his dad is just upset because Cory is his last son. But Cory is an insensitive teenager, so he tries to ditch his own birthday party.
When Shawn tells Alan that they’re trying to make a movie and need to leave the party, Alan informs them all that they have to be seventeen to see an R-Rated movie. And when he finds out they were trying to go to Atlantic City, he freaks out. And Cory freaks out too and is all like meh I just turned sixteen and that makes me an adult, and I want to leave my party and hang out with my friends. And Alan is all like really? “That’s the first ‘adult’ decision you want to make?” Hint: It’s not very “adult” to ditch the party your entire family is throwing for you.
So Cory, Shawn, and Topanga head to Atlantic City. But Cory gets pulled over for going 26 mph in a 25 mph zone. Were they driving through residential neighborhoods the entire way to New Jersey? Refusing to call his father to help him pay the $200 fine, Cory ends up in the traffic version of night court–where he is immediately seen by a domineering judge.
Meanwhi
le, Alan is feeling pretty bad about how everything unfolded. Ever the level headed mother, Amy tells him that Cory is just growing up and isn’t doing anything wrong. Alan says that he’s growing up too, and Amy reminds him that he hasn’t done anything wrong either. They’re both just figuring out how to shift into a new part of their relationship. And that’s why this show is so awesome! Mr. Feeney tells Alan about Cory (who has called him instead of his father), and Alan drives down to the courtroom.
The judge (who must have a sixth sense about father’s who are having a hard time) sees Alan come in and tells Cory that he will drop the charges if Cory calls his father and says he was wrong. But Cory refuses to do so. The judge then sentences Cory to “two years” (of being a kid, thank God!) and tells him to chill out on the being an “adult” thing.
Very Special Lesson: You’ll probably think you’re all done growing up at least a dozen times before you’re actually a grown up.
Block Party Summer
I don’t know if anyone remembers when Nick at Nite used to show some quality classic TV back in the 90’s, but I was quite a fan of Block Party Summer. It was really just three hour blocks of one TV show, but for some reason it felt like serious Summer fun to me. This should have been the first sign of a serious pop culture addiction, but it’s only an addiction if you want to stop, right? No? That’s not how that works? Anyway, I’d like to bring back Block Party Summer on The Very Special Blog.
This may be a bad decision because Summer is apparently our “crazy time” at work and as this is my first Summer at this job, I may be biting off more than I can chew with this little challenge. But I have an odd coping mechanism when someone gives me a ton of work. I’m kind of like Oh yeah? Well I’ll complete all of the “work” things you gave me but then I’m going to make my own work things to do on my own time but those work things will be FUN.
So there you go, The Very Special Summer will be my fun self-imposed non-work, work thing. So this July get ready for weekly lessons from your (my) favorite shows as follows:
Monday: The Brady Bunch
Tuesday: Boy Meets World
Wednesday: Full House
Thursday: Family Matters
Friday: The Facts of Life
Girl Meets World: Angela and Shawn
Last night on “Girl Meets Hurricane” Maya harasses Shawn into giving her fatherly advice. I haven’t watched this show since Eric guest starred, so I’m not sure if this relationship is even reasonable. I have a feeling that it isn’t. She starts mock-beating him up and the clucks like a chicken when he won’t give her advice. So disrespectful. Kids these days.
So then Shawn tells her to dress differently and she cries. But she’s only crying because he cared enough to tell her that and no one else has ever cared that much before, which she says right in front of her mother. This leads Shawn to take her out on a massive shopping spree, and Maya’s mom starts worrying about what will happen when Shawn decides to stop playing dad. (OMG perfect timing on a Father’s Day Weekend episode, right?)
But what could possibly make Shawn not want to play Dad, right?? Well, Angela shows up. Corey announces her presence and then she just shows up in Topanga’s bakery. It’s really odd and unexplained. Corey’s kid Riley is a total jerk to her because she’s upset that Angela might take Shawn away from Maya’s mom. Smh. Go to the mall and do kid things and stop being so obsessed with the grownups in your life!
Angela tells Shawn she’s been married for four years, and he asks her why she left him. She says she wasn’t ready for anything so serious when she was dating him, but she was only ready to get married when she did because of Shawn. I think that’s a compliment but if someone said that to me, I think it would be a very Bye, Felisha moment.
THIS is the weirdest television episode ever. While Maya and Riley sit with their parents eavesdropping in the courtyard, Angela tells Shawn that her husband wants to have kids. She’s nervous and needs her ex-boyfriend’s reassurances that she would be a good mom. I don’t know about you but, if I was a Disney Mom I would not want my kids watching this demented shit.
Then Angela starts demanding that Shawn tell her if Maya’s mom is “The one.” And then she’s all like “life knows what it’s doing” and wants Shawn to use their relationship to be ready to like get married to Maya’s mom, or something, wtf?
Is it possible to give an episode negative stars? Where is Will Friedle? Maya’s mom (can someone please give this character a name, already?) and Shawn agree to go on a date. And Maya approaches Shawn and asks him how he will handle such an important moment in his life. Cue: Ghost of Chet Hunter. He tells Shawn that everyone needs hope and “if that little girl can let her guard down, why can’t you?”
Well, I don’t know about the rest of America, but I remember Chet Hunter being kind of a belligerant drunk. I guess he did have a heart of gold underneath it all, but when did he get so eloquent? Is eloquence something that ghosts earn? Like every time a bell rings an angel gets his wings?
I don’t know. Roll credits.
Very Special Lesson: Whatever “hope” we found in the “Girl Meets Squirrels” episode is officially gone. Also, I’m pretty sure these writers operate on buzzwords. And that they have to incorporate the “buzz word” no less than 15 times into each episode script. Today’s buzzword was “hope” it was brought to you by the letter I–am so old and cynical about these people ruining the most magical show of my youth.
The Very Special Blog 